Today was the best day of my life, as I, Kim Kardashian, was named the most searched celebrity of 2014 by Bing. Me! Not Beyonce! ME! MEEEE! I love, err, everybody loves me more than Beyonce!
That’s right. Kim has been named the number one most searched celebrity of 2014 by Bing. Kim knocked the reigning champion, Beyonce, to the number two spot. Bing’s crediting the Vogue cover, the self-indulgent wedding, the Kim Kardashian: Hollywood app, and the naked #BreakTheInternet desperate grab for attention for shooting Kim to the top this year. This list:
1) Kim Kardashian
2) Beyoncé Knowles
3) Miley Cyrus
4) Katy Perry
5) Justin Bieber
6) Joan Rivers
7) Jennifer Lopez
8) Kendall Jenner
9) Kaley Cuoco
10) Robin Williams
This list teaches me two very important lessons. One: people are Keeping Up with the Kardashians way more than they care to admit. Two: I clearly live on the wrong planet because six of these celebrities annoy my face off. Yes, Kim Kardashian, you in allllllll your talentless reality TV star glory tops my list of the most annoying celebrities of 2014 as well. Congratulations.
Some peasant on the Internet who probably doesn’t even believe in dinosaurs said I’m nothing but a talentless reality TV star. As if. I’m Mrs. Kanye West! I’m bigger than Lucille Ball! I’m more popular than Beyonce! #BingSaidSo Will they ever take me, like, totes seriously?
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