Hasta la vista, Atlanta. It’s time to say hello to Hollywood. Last night was the premiere of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. In case you missed it, Soulja Boy hasn’t gotten any smarter (nor have the ladies who love him), Hazel E isn’t making better decisions, and Ray-J is every bit as whiny as you remember if…if not more. The episode begins with Teairra Mari, Moniece, and Apryl Jones are lounging on the beach, with Moniece revealing she’s in a relationship with a new man who shall remain nameless–for the time being at least. Teairra has washed her hands of her relationship with Ray-J, and the women revel in the gossip of Princess’ recent arrest in New Orleans on the heels of an altercation with Ray. Apryl, sporting a new nose ring, interjects to say she’s planning a post-baby party, but she’s invited her new friend Princess. Teairra promises that she’ll behave if Princess can do the same. Apryl hopes she’s able to be the bigger person.
Across town, Hazel has ditched her obsession with Berg and is back in the studio with producer Milan. She’s mourning the recent loss of her grandfather and was surprised that former friend Teairra reached out to her after his funeral. Milan has been seeing someone for a while, and he’s ready to get married and start a family. It’s a conversation he needs to have with his love, although he’s not sure how it will be received. He is apparently the antithesis of every other dude on this show.
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Meanwhile Ray and Princess are both recapping their fight in New Orleans. Princess recalls confronting Ray about trying to hook up with the strippers and a fight ensued. Because Ray was on probation, Princess took the rap and went to jail. For that, Ray is immensely grateful. Princess isn’t very grateful that Ray went to TMZ while she was locked up and accused her of breaking his ribs during the beef. Ray is super sorry for how things went down, and he needs to make things right with Princess. Unfortunately, she’s moved out of their condo and is staying with a friend. After Ray tracks her down (and she clearly knows he’s coming as there are cameras present in her new digs), Princess asks the extent of his stripper frolicking when he’s traveling without her. Ray-J dodges every question, smooths over the beard he’s sporting that would makes a thirteen-year-old boy proud, and apologizes repeatedly. She just needs to forgive him one more time. Just one. Maybe twice. We’ll see. How often is she willing to forgive him? Ray is ridiculous.
In Studio City, Omarion is performing for a crowd which includes Apryl. He’s touring, he’s about to drop a highly anticipated single, and he’s in love with fatherhood. Omarion remains a stand-up guy, although he doesn’t have any competition on this show. Nikki arrives to hang out with Apryl, and she’s as single as a dollar bill. That sounds super classy. She plans to twerk her way through Hollywood until she finds Mr. Right. I almost didn’t recognize her. She has a new lingerie line, and Apryl is hoping that some of Nikki’s lacy bits can help bring back her sex drive with Omarion. There is so much going on in their home life, she may need to start surprising him at work for quickies. If it was any other man on this show besides Omarion, that tactic would be a recipe for disaster!
Things are going well for Moniece. She and Drew are co-parenting well and she’s smitten by a mystery man who she’s been seeing for seven months. She’s waiting for him at the airport and NO! JUST STOP! CROSSOVER, Y’ALL!! It’s Rich Dollaz, and I am more excited than I should be. He’s older and wiser and ready to settle down. Moniece is smart and wild and needs to take out her gold grill before they do it. Across town, Princess has decided to grant Ray one more reprieve, and he’s treating her to a date on a beautiful yacht. Ray cites an addiction to the after-party. That’s a new one, but we know that Dr. Drew will jump all over it. Ray wonders what will make Princess return home, and she challenges that he needs to get rid of the apartment where he “conducts business” and used to have parties. Done. Princess is shocked at how quickly Ray concedes. He really has changed, hasn’t he?
Following Nikki’s advice, Apryl interrupts Omarion’s rehearsal wearing thigh highs and a trench coat. She treats him to a lap dance (by why do we need to see it?) and explains that she wants to put forth more effort to keep the spark in their sex life. To the dressing room! We’re introduced to rapper Amber, also known as Fab Ab. Clearly, Hollywood if following the “add in random newbies” formula that didn’t work very well for Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. Like her counterparts, she has an overabundance of attitude and self-confidence, but not the best luck when it comes to romance. She’s working with Miles who is also a rapper…and her high school sweetheart. While they aren’t together, they aren’t apart either. Amber harps on Miles’ ghosting of late, but it turns out he’s in love with someone else. However, Miles isn’t ready to tell Amber this tidbit quite yet.
The day of Apryl’s pampering party, and she pulls Princess aside to let her know that Teairra will be in attendance. Apryl is worried about a confrontation, but both women have pledged to be on their best behavior. Princess approaches Teairra, and Teairra wasn’t banking on actually having to speak to her ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. The women actually bond over the fact that Ray-J feeds lies to the media. When Princess starts to cry, Teairra offers support, reminding her that she should feel protected by Ray. She tells Princess that she deserves better. Well, I’m impressed with this new Teairra.
And just like that, the Hollywood franchise takes the lead! Forget the tired “fake lesbian” relationships from the original Love & Hip Hop we’ve seen in the past. We are finally getting a story line about two guys in love. Finally some equality in our reality trash. I had a strong feeling that Milan’s love interest was going to be a male, but I never would have guessed it would be Miles! Miles reveals that Milan is the first man he’s been with, and he thinks he’ll be the last, as he’s found his true love. Milan is out and wants to be able to show their love, and maybe go to the movies or out to dinner once in a while. . However, Miles is scared about the stigma in hip hop and how his friends and family will react. He isn’t sure if he’ll ever feel comfortable taking their relationship public.
Sure Ray promised Princess he’d get rid of his apartment, but he needs to give it a proper send off first. It’s only right. Ray lies to Princess. He tells her he’s working late, but she receives a text from a friend about Ray’s apartment party. Why does he have a stripper pole in his living room? Oh, that’s right. He’s addicted to the after-party. Princess arrives just in time to watch Ray getting handsy with a stripper. Princess is tossing drinks, and Ray tries to explain that it’s a finale party. When Princess says they are done, Ray flips, yelling, “You want to know who I am? This is how I turn up!” A party-goer calls Princess “crusty” and Princess charges. As the production team tries to separate the women, one girl is kicking holes in the walls. And that’s how you premiere if you’re in the LHH family!
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[Photo Credit: VH1]