After watching the Shahs of Sunset since the beginning, tonight’s episode has been a long time coming. The lightning fast dissolution of the marriage between Mike Shouhed and Jessica Parido didn’t exactly surprise anyone, but the fact that Jessica stuck around without revealing what happened did. That all stopped tonight when Jessica made it clear what Mike can do with his golden dool.
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Asa Soltan Rahmati is busy preparing for a big fashion show that will let the whole world know that Asa’s Kaftans are not just for VIP/Only Customer Kyle Richards. Asa has sunk $50K into the show (seriously?!) and wants to make sure her mother, Zinat, doesn’t know because well, that was probably payroll. Understandably, Zinat is worried when Asa tells her that there is only about $2,500 in the company bank account. Even though Asa reminds us AGAIN that when they left Iran with nothing, she needs to take risks for the family and she doesn’t think her parents should seek stability. I guess because fleeing a war torn country to raise your family safely and work to build a better life for decades doesn’t earn you the right to be stable – now get back to peddling kaftans!
Reza Farahan is meeting Mike Shouhed to get their cuticles trimmed and presumably, talk about what horrible people they are. Reza wants to know why Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi was partying so hard when she is supposed to be really sick with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Mike points out how much GG lies and Reza finally says out loud what we have all been thinking the whole season: GG is exaggerating her RA for attention. Let me pause here to say that for the record, I do think GG has RA. But I agree with Reza (I just swallowed my pride hard on that statement) that she is exaggerating a bit for attention, plus an excuse for bad behavior and sympathy. Which sounds awfully familiar when it comes to Bravo story lines but that’s a whole other ball of wax.
We now join Mercedes “MJ” Javid and boyfriend, Tommy Feight, for some much needed couples therapy and by the looks of it, this isn’t their first time going. I don’t know exactly how long they have been dating, but given the trip to the fertility doctor and now the therapist, these two spend more time at the doctor than a couple who have been married for 50 years. Not a good sign. MJ wants to feel like she is with another adult and not a child (oh, that’s rich) and doesn’t want him laughing everything off all the time. The therapist sees the shadow of Vida and MJ knows it’s looming over her relationship. They leave without accomplishing much but MJ should thank her lucky stars that Tommy is laughing off this session and still even interested in dating her.
Mike meets Jessica for dinner and Jessica has regret written all over her face from the night before. Mike tries to brush over how hard relationships are and Jessica kindly reminds him that they sure are, when full of lies and deceit. Mike is confused – wasn’t Jessica just nice to him? How can she be so cold now? It’s called Tito’s vodka, Mike. And probably contractual obligations. Jessica wants him to admit what he did and Mike refuses to take responsibility out loud because you know, he’s ready to move forward. Never mind that his wife is hurting from his transgressions, he’s ready to be a good husband now! Everyone rejoice and move on!
Back at MJ’s place, her friend shows up and MJ admits that Tommy has bought a one way ticket out of Crazy Town, as in, he told her he was done, packed up his stuff and left. While MJ chain smokes and claims that she’s out there in the deep ending fighting for the relationship and Tommy won’t even go in the water because it’s too cold, her friend looks on, not really surprised at all. MJ says it’s time for a margarita with fried ice cream and a side of tequila because that’s how adults deal with stuff. Something Tommy would never understand.
It’s the day of Asa’s kaftan show where the hair is either “like, big” or “like, flat”. The innovation is just dripping from this show already. While the models do their own makeup and strap bib necklaces over their faces, Asa jumps right in, making herself seem way more important than she is while yelling things like, “more leg oil!”
Reza, MJ and Mike get drinks and wait for the magic to begin. Mike has another stupid hat on – I thought he was building a shoe empire, not a fedora empire – and it’s really hard for me to take him seriously in these get ups. The talk immediately turns to GG and her RA and when GG arrives, Reza admits she doesn’t look like someone who is about to go through chemo. I’m assuming he means she doesn’t look sick?
Reza pulls her aside with Shervin Roohparvar (who we have seen less and less of as the season goes on) to say he’s concerned about her. GG explains that she just got the news yesterday that she has to do intravenous chemotherapy and doesn’t appreciate everyone being all in her business about it. They need to back off – but still like her inspirational posts about it on Instagram. Once she storms off, Reza just comes out and says he thinks she is lying about having RA for a long list of reasons: she is out in the club all night, drinking, smoking and wearing six inch heels, just for starters. Instead of handling it himself, Reza punts to Shervin and insists that he be the one to ask her if she is really getting chemo.
I think Shervin should have told Reza to do it his damn self, but he quietly complies and confronts GG by telling her there are questions about whether or not she even has RA. Reza creeps off to the side of the conversation like the scummy person he is and doesn’t say anything. GG doesn’t defend herself, just tells Shervin to eff off.
Backstage before the kaftans start flying, Asa is greeting Latoya Jackson, who had nothing better to do then come to the show today. Over at cocktail hour, Jessica shows up with a face as hard as plastic while she looks at her phone the whole time. Mike is immediately on edge because something seems fishy. He remembers the days before they hated each other when they used to text all the time and Jessica being glued to her phone looks oddly familiar. As Mike hovers over her, he sees a text come in from the letter “J” and demands to see the text and know who it is. Jessica sticks to her guns and reminds Mike that he doesn’t need to know everything she is doing. While Mike tries to act tough and mutter something under his breath, Jessica isn’t going to stand for it and tells him she can out him right now. She finally says OUT LOUD that he has been cheating on her, instead of dancing around it.
Somehow, no one else has heard this and Jessica storms out. She’s finally had enough and admits in her talking head that she has been protecting Mike for the last 3 months by hiding what’s been going on. Mike chases her out and tries to manipulate her into thinking she’s making stuff up and while he’s fighting for their marriage, she is hiding a text message. Oh no, no, Jessica is not covering for him anymore and spits back that he’s been doing the same thing for their whole marriage. Mike reasons that the less people know about what really happened in their relationship, the easier it will be for him to fix it. The delusion is real, people.
As Jessica tries to escape in any direction, Reza makes his way outside and sees Mike yelling and cornering Jessica aggressively. Asa gets word backstage that the Four Seasons is about to kick them out if they can’t get it under control and Jessica eventually storms over to her seat. Reza tries to calm Mike down as he seethes about filing for divorce. Asa is freaking out because the twenty-five people who are invited just barely made it to their seats to see the show.
Finally, the show starts and all I can see is an explosion of colored animal prints and oversized costume jewelry coming down the runway. Mike and Reza are missing the whole show and they aren’t the only seats that are empty. Reza immediately runs up to Asa to explain why they missed her big moment and she’s pissed. Don’t worry, guys, I’m sure there will be another show/venture/product launch in a few months.
As Jessica goes to leave, Mike won’t let her go in peace and we cut to a producer asking Mike point blank if he cheated on her. Mike’s eyes are rolled to the top of his head and he’s bright red but gives a little head shake, sets his jaw and says no. Is anyone buying this? About as much as they are buying his shoe line is my guess.
TELL US – IS GG EXAGGERATING HER R.A.? IS MIKE IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS CHEATING?
Photo Credit: Bravo