Sister Wives Recap: Poi, Oh Poi!

Aloha Browns! Last night’s Sister Wives marked the conclusion of the Browns Hawaiian vacation. If the older children keep finding themselves in serious relationships, there will be enough wedding story lines to keep this show afloat for many more seasons to come! The crew is headed to a local coffee house for breakfast, but Christine has taken to calling it a bistro since the LDS Church frowns upon coffee. Kody is frustrated with the driving and parking. He’s having a difficult time hanging loose, and Caleb seems to be getting a healthy dose of his future father-in-law.

Over breakfast, Kody lectures his family about how he’s the boss, but his kids are rolling their eyes and hoping he’ll chill so they can enjoy breakfast. After their meal, the Browns head to the beach, and Kody sets up the umbrellas in the hot sand. Christine notes that he’s making their area in sad too hot to play on, so Meri plays the messenger and gets Kody to move them. Of course, he’s peeved that his idea was once again thwarted. Hopefully once everyone is allowed to finally have some fun, he’ll relax.


Kody and his wives opine about the parade of graduations and weddings in their future. It’s normal family stuff when your family contains a bazillion people. As the wives prepare dinner that evening, Kody requests a chat with Meri. Their relationship has been so distant lately (hence the catfishing), and both are worried the discussion will be forced and awkward. He expresses his gratitude for the slew of tree paintings she painted for his birthday. Meri hopes that paintings signify that she wants to work on their non-marriage. Kody believes it will be a slow process. At this point, they are just being courteous to one another. 

Next on the list for Meri’s mea culpa is Mariah. She notices her only daughter is still being stand-offish. Remembering back to her trip with Robyn’s daughter Breanna to Utah, Meri shares with Janelle that Mariah takes offense at her mother’s skinny eyebrows. Meri and Breanna decide to tease Mariah by drawing on big eyebrows. Janelle gets in on the fun, and before they know it, Meri and Janelle are having a moment of silliness. Meri gives Janelle some major eyebrows, but Meri freaks out when Janelle wants to do hers. Meri doesn’t want her eyebrows drawn on as thick and ugly as she did Janelle’s (really, Meri? Talk about dishing it but not taking it!), but she finally acquiesces. Janelle double dog dares Meri to keep the eyebrows in place until they get in the ocean and Breanna is in agreement. Meri is embarrassed, but she agrees if Kody is okay with their tomfoolery. Mariah is less than impressed with the practical joke, wondering if they drew on the eyebrows with poop. I don’t think she’s going to forgive her mom any time soon! 

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TLC tends to gloss over the Browns‘ Hawaiian activities and is focusing solely on meal time. Janelle and her future so-in-law head to a fish market where they buy a huge mahi to cook for dinner. The younger Brown children watch in awe as Caleb preps and slices the giant fix, and thankfully, Robyn doesn’t make a scene about needing to vomit like the time this happened in Alaska. Madison lays down the law and the schedule for the week of her wedding. Christine is impressed with Maddie’s ability to micro-manage. With Solomon perched on Kody’s knee, Maddie requests her father to officiate the ceremony. His response is a lackluster, “Okay.” Madison calls out her dad’s reaction and he gets a bit more excited. Meri chides that Kody has been a groom in four weddings…he should be familiar with the drill! Robyn questions why Caleb’s father, a former pastor, is not performing the ceremony. Caleb’s mother has recently passed away and he gets teary talking about her battle with cancer. As Madison takes over for him, it’s clear to see how much they love each other. Caleb explains that his father would prefer Kody to officiate as he’ll be extremely emotional remembering his wife while celebrating his youngest son’s wedding. 

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The family is taking a giant surfing lesson, and Aspyn and Gabriel really take to it. Christine is proud of herself for being able to “shred the gnar.” She defines the phrase: “You know, shred, like shredded, and gnar as in gnarly.” Thank you for that encompassing explanation! If any of you were holding on to hope that Mariah would eventually break down and forgive her mother, that notion got gnar shredded when Meri collided with her daughter while surfing a rogue wave. On the couches, Kody inquires whether Mariah was injured. If she had been (she wasn’t), wouldn’t he have been aware of it before then? Maybe not. After all, we are referring to Kody. 

The final night in Hawaii, the Browns will be attending a luau. Kody is in a foul mood, and he’s not looking forward to it because he doesn’t eat pork. Jesus would have been a practicing Jew and would not have eaten pork. NOt eating pork brings Kody closer to God. Logan, for one is thrilled. He hasn’t eaten pork in ages, and he can’t wait. Kody is being a bitter Betty. Nobody asked him if he wanted a luau, and had they, he would have said HELL NO because, you know, pork. And poi. Oh the poi! When Logan ribs his dad (pun definitely intended!) about his tantrum, Kody tells him to piss off. Janelle finds this phrase hilarious as she’s never heard it come from Kody’s mouth. Christine is shocked? He says it to her all the time!

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Kody’s mood has improved by the time the family is ready for their pig roast. Robyn believes Kody feels torn between following these practices and allowing his family to practice free will. The Brown kids devour the pork, but I think between the mahi and pig on the spit. Solomon may be scarred for life. Kody declines the pork, but he recognizes that he’s a guest and this is a native custom. Plus, he needs to relish in the fact that his family is all together, and that’s an occurrence that happens less frequently as his children grow.

Speaking of, Mykelti has some big girl news for Christine. She’s in lurve with the guy she’s been dating for five months since moving to Utah. She may only be nineteen, but she’s ready to make the next step, and her beau will be asking Kody for her hand in marriage. Christine is floored to learn her daughter is in such a serious relationship. Mykelti wonders why her mom seems dumbfounded at her admission when Christine was so excited for Maddie’s engagement. She’s hurt that Christine didn’t give her a similar reaction. But hey! Another wedding, another season, right? Christine doesn’t want to crush her daughter’s hope, but she thinks Mykelti needs a dose of reality. Mykelti promises they won’t rush into anything. They won’t get married for at least a couple months. Am I the only one thinking a Brown grandchild may be in the mix? 


[Photo Credit: TLC]