Are y’all feeling Southern Charm Savannah yet? I’m still on the fence. The people I enjoy aren’t really entertaining enough to carry a reality show (which is why they are slightly relatable), and the ones with the drama are grating AF on my nerves. Is it just me? Last night’s episode only solidified that aspect of the Bravo spinoff, that’s for sure!
If I ever meet Ashley Borders, remind me not to get in an argument with her. Sheesh! Poor Hannah Pearson attempts to express her opinion over her disdain for strip golf but ends up basically apologizing to Ashley for getting kicked out of youth group in eighth grade. Are you following? Me either. Ashley turns on the water works and blames Ashley for condemning her. Girls are always so mean to her–this is why she plays golf with boys!
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Ashley won’t let Hannah get an word in edgewise (even an unnecessary apology!) as she chastises her new friend for only considering one point of view. As Ashley denounces drama and skateboards into the Savannah darkness, Hannah is left just as confused as I am. Hannah calls Louis Oswald to recap the conversation, and he heads home to provide moral support for his girlfriend. A frazzled Hannah tries to explain the unexplainable situation to Louis who dismisses Ashley as a See You Next Tuesday.
The following day, Daniel Eichholz meets with Ashley to make good on losing his strip golf bet. She’s outfitting him in drag much to his chagrin. Daniel tries to smooth things over between Ashley and Hannah. He tells her that Hannah is upset, and he wants the girls to make amends as Hannah is his best friend and Ashley is one of his oldest friends. Ashley is not on board and reminds Daniel of Hannah’s vicious attack on her character. She was only trying to bond with Hannah when the girl raked her over the coals for no reason. Ashley does realize that Daniel is going to be able to watch what transpired between she and Hannah, right?
Across town, Catherine Cooper gossips with her party planner Jim regarding the scandalous putting and requests some mentoring in the area of interior design. It’s what she has decided to do with her life…at least this week. In a small world twist of fate, I’ve learned a friend of mine from law school once chaperoned her on a high school trip and brought her sister to our law school prom…which reminded me that when he brought said sister to law school prom he revealed that his date was the niece of amazing actor Chris Cooper who is in practically every movie under the son. So Catherine has a famous uncle…this tidbit is more exciting than her conversation with Jim.
At the drag show, his fellow queens dub Daniel “Coupons Galore” and he’s totally down with his alter ego. Damn Daniel! His friends arrive to support the cause. Hannah reveals that Ashley sent her flowers and an apology card, and Ashley floats into the crowd acknowledging everyone in the group except for Hannah. Of course, Ashley complains about how cold a reception she receives from Hannah…the girl she didn’t speak to in the first place. Poor Coupons has a bout of stage fright, but he quickly cuts it out and struts her stuff on the stage. His dance moves and make-up removal leave much to be desired, but Daniel is quick to join his friends post-show for some bar hopping. Ashley continues her freeze out of Hannah (even though she sees it the other way around) which prompts Hannah to issue yet another apology. She asks Ashley to join her outside, and her friends rush to check on her given Ashley’s penchant for crazy. Their make-up is as flawed as Daniel’s, but theY pretend to let bygones be bygones.
Nelson Lewis is hosting a guys’ poker night at his house, and he’s enlisted Ashley and his mother to help him plan the spread. While he has known the guys his entire life, he struggles with fitting in and hopes this party will help. Ashley notes that they both struggle with acceptance while droning on and on about how prestigious Nelson’s family is. It grates on my nerves that her accent gets more syrupy and pronounced in her talking heads. Meanwhile, Jim throws Catherine head first into decorating by making her his apprentice on a big project. Catherine is overwhelmed by the daunting task, but she’s content to drill the client about her personal life while lounging in the client’s parlor and drinking the client’s wine. She could certainly get used to this!
The guys are impressed with Nelson’s house during poker night, but they aren’t really there to be besties with Nelson. His family owns an island, so he’s a good person to know. Nelson greets Daniel with a “L’ Chaim” but it comes off as smarmy and inauthentic like he’s trying to remind Daniel he’s Jewish and put him in his place. Daniel shrugs it off and starts to play, but things just go downhill from there. Nelson tries to force Ashley on his bros (Louis isn’t feeling it), and then gets bleeped saying something to Daniel as the guys leave. Daniel counters that he doesn’t know what Nelson is saying, and Daniel snarks, “I think you do.” And Daniel does, citing Nelson’s word as a Yiddish racial slur. He isn’t down for Nelson’s blatant ignorance, and neither am I. I feel like I need a shower.
Ashley and Daniel are catching up over coffee, and she laments feeling left out of the group. She gave up so much (million dollar homes and Range Rovers, y’all!) to come back home. He shares that he too had to come back to Savannah after trying to forge a name for himself in Colorado. They bond over their similarities and shared weirdness. Ashley wants to find him a girl so he can start a family, but while he’d love a lot of kids, he’s in no hurry. Luckily for Daniel, Lyle and Louis are up for being dual wingmen. Daniel wants to settle down with a nice Jewish girl, but instead he drunkenly hits on anything that moves. He keeps getting shot down, and resigns himself to trying to sell Ashley to his friends. His friends can’t find any common ground between Ashley and Daniel, and Lyle reveals he’s heard a rumor that Ashley is a baggage handler for Delta. Wait, what?
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? WILL DANIEL REGRET TRYING TO HELP ASHLEY?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]