As the Shahs of Sunset continue their
politically incorrect spiritual tour of Israel, tonight’s episode is all about opening up and being honest within their friendships and lives. That’s a pretty tall order, especially for Asa “Did You Know I’m Having a Baby” Soltan Rahmati, who has been dodging questions about her personal life faster than you can say miracle baby. None of this is sitting well with Mercedes “MJ” Javid, who desperately wants to make a baby of her own and thinks the more she tells people, the more likely it is to happen. Everyone click yourselves into your overpriced strollers and hang on, because tonight is going to be a bumpy ride.
We rejoin the Shahs at the Western Wall, where they are all praying for what they want, except Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi, who sits there fuming about being out of her element. Dressed in camo pants and an angry look on her face, she minds her own business but claims that an Israeli man harassed her by saying “jihad” to her. I guess the multiple camera pointed at her didn’t catch that part but of course, GG wouldn’t make something up now would she? *Pausing as I list in my head all the things GG has made up over the course of the show*
Shervin Roohparvar is also feeling disconnected from the Wall, but Asa and her baby certainly aren’t. Once they are done, she wastes no time telling everyone that her baby was kicking through her to the Wall as she leaned up against it. In this moment, I wish I was at the Western Wall so I could make a wish that Asa would STFU about her baby. Thankfully, and I never thought I would say this, but Destiney Rose is there to change the subject, talking about how she can’t believe she is feeling so free as a Muslim woman in “Jewish-land.”. Sigh, it’s called Israel, Destiney. We thought you figured that out by now.
They finally leave the Wall to go to a marketplace and we have to hear more Deep Thoughts by Reza Farahan, like “We are shopping where Jesus shopped”. GG is finally excited over finding some knives for sale but even more so, she is feeling the presence of her boyfriend, Shalom everywhere since she hears his name so many times a day in Israel. This prompts her to seek guidance from Reza about her plans for the future with Shalom. Mainly, the fact that she wants to have kids with him but she’s worried about her kids coming from two different cultures and religions that don’t get along. Reza, despite being a train wreck of a person overall, is the perfect person for GG to ask because he’s both Jewish and Muslim. You would think after all the seasons of him talking openly about how painful and hard it was, GG would know his thoughts on the matter but she asks anyway. He’s happy to reiterate how awful it was and wonders how GG is even talking about having kids with a Jewish guy when she wasn’t even comfortable coming to Israel in the first place.
If you’re just as confused as Reza, you’re about to get a whole lot more confused because despite all of GG’s concerns, she has arranged for a tattoo artist to tattoo Shalom’s name in Hebrew on her side. Somehow, Asa and Destiney are on board with this and don’t try and talk her out of it. Reza, MJ, Shervin and Mike Shouhed don’t even bother to pay GG any mind and choose to instead go out, get drunk and talk about how dumb she is.
Reza still can’t understand what GG is thinking but I don’t even think GG knows what she is thinking so it’s probably best to just leave the thinking to someone else……not MJ but ugh, we have to hear MJ’s musings about her future pregnancy nonetheless. Even Reza’s patience is starting to wear thin as MJ constantly toasts to her last hurrah, holding firm in the belief that when she gets home, fiancé Tommy Feight will immediately knock her up. Reza tries to burst her bubble, saying at her age, it might not be as easy to get pregnant as she thinks and wonders why MJ thinks it’s ok to have a child without being married after dragging Asa so hard about it. Does MJ have an answer for him? No. Do I think MJ just likes saying “bastard child” at this point to get a rise out of everyone? Yes. Does she have any idea of what she’s talking about? No. MJ goes on to say she won’t marry Tommy unless she’s pregnant because of his “character issues”, which include smoking in front of her dogs and eating hard candy at midnight. The guys can’t even pretend to look like they understand what the hell she is talking about and thankfully, it’s time to go and get drunk, one last time for MJ, because you know, she’s gonna be pregnant soon.
They stumble back to the hotel at 3 AM, with MJ drunk enough to think changing in her pink sweatpants and bra then wandering around with her boob hanging out is a good idea. She finds GG’s room key and they storm her room, demanding to see her dumb tattoo, then urging her to call Shalom to show him. His reaction is exactly what I would expect from a guy who is newly dating someone that gets his name tattooed on her body: “What is wrong with you guys?” Oh Shalom, we are six seasons in and I still ask myself that very question every time I watch an episode.
The next morning, the gang heads to the Dead Sea and Deep Thoughts with Reza continues as he reminds us the Dead Sea is not Santa Monica Beach, in case anyone was confused. While everyone settles in for lunch, Asa asks Mike and Reza how their night out was. Instead of telling her the details of their drinking, they immediately spill how MJ was up to her usual tricks of claiming she will have a miracle bun in her own delusional oven and using the term “bastard child” to refer to any child born out of wedlock, a/k/a Asa’s baby. Now Asa can claim spiritual peace and enlightenment all she wants, she is not able to let this little tidbit go.
As soon as they sit down for lunch, she confronts MJ about how she keeps jabbing at her. When MJ pretends to not hear her, Asa has no choice but to address her by name and tell her how hurtful it is that she is referring to Asa’s child as a bastard. MJ deflects by asking who else thought it was strange Asa was having a baby without being married and Mike steps up to admit it. MJ maintains that she has never met a pregnant person so secretive and who feels like every question is an attack. Asa tries to make a case on shaky ground that she might not be open with everything but she is more open than MJ about other things, like her age and weight. The rest of the Shahs jump in, claiming MJ not being open about her weight crosses some kind of imaginary moral line. Reza tries to throw Asa a lifeline and says how she tells him things that she doesn’t tell everyone else, but it backfires and Mike and GG gripe about why they should be friends with someone who isn’t sharing their whole life with them too.
Shervin pipes up to say something and instead of centering the conversation or actually saying something useful, he wants to know if Asa used any hormonal therapy to get pregnant. This kicks off a convoluted, confusing train of thought by Asa about her fertility journey to a miracle child. She claims that she did not do hormone therapy, but she did freeze her eggs years ago, but it actually wasn’t just her eggs, they froze seven male embryos that they didn’t even use because she got pregnant naturally. Mike is no doctor, but has a really hard time believing that Asa could get pregnant so quickly and naturally, at the ripe old age of 40. I’m guessing that aside from not being a doctor, Mike doesn’t spend much time around women over the age of 25, so I’m not sure how he would know but I do have a newsflash for him and the rest of the Shahs: despite your constant desire to throw money away with freezing any fluid that comes out of your nether regions for the fun of the show, the rest of the world is well aware of the fact that it’s entirely possible to get pregnant naturally at the age of forty. Women do it all the time. But back to the issue, which is Asa not being honest with them and from my point of view, I’m not sure why Asa even brought up the embryo freeze if she didn’t even end up using them to get pregnant, like she claims. This all seems like a pointless part of the conversation but not to MJ, who is pissed because years ago, when she froze her eggs, Asa was asking her all about it, the whole time knowing that she already went through a similar process herself. MJ knows she won’t get the honest answers she is looking for and has no choice but to suggest that they all go float in the Dead Sea since they came all this way to see it. Everyone jumps right in and slathers themselves with mud while Asa sits on the beach, saying how emotionally poisoned she feels by their treatment of her.
Once they are back at the hotel, MJ FaceTimes Tommy, who is at the hospital visiting her dad. Mike comes in and gets to partake in the conversation, where Tommy dutifully follows MJ’s instructions to squeeze her dad’s hand and tell her how he’s making out. As she breaks down into tears, Tommy assures her that her dad is OK and not to cry. As ridiculous as I find Tommy and his nicknames for MJ’s boobs, he really has grown on me and seems like a good guy. When MJ hangs up, she breaks down into tears and Mike comforts her, but gives some tough love by telling her that she can’t let her father’s illness stop her from living her life and that he would want to see her married and happy.
The last stop on the list of things to do in Israel is House Number 3, a world renowned restaurant that is owned by two people who are running it out of their gorgeous house. Reza can’t help but comment on how poppin the Israeli real estate market is as they walk up to the house. The food comes and it looks delicious, until the Chef serves a pregnant fish. Naturally, all roads pregnant lead back to Asa, who refuses to eat it because it reminds her too much of her.
MJ makes a toast to Tommy and Mike uses it as another opportunity to sing Tommy’s praises and remind her that Tommy is a good guy and won’t wait around for her if she doesn’t marry him. MJ starts to cry, saying she is dealing with a lot and Asa, convinced that MJ is manipulating everyone, takes pictures of the food she won’t eat. Mike tries to bring it back, saying that they went on this vacation to fight to be more open with their friendships. Whatever that means.
Asa decides that enough time has passed talking about other things aside from her baby and well, that can’t happen. So she has to make a big announcement but first, chastise everyone for how hurtful they were and how it almost cause her not to share the sex of the baby with them. She said almost because of course she is going to share, she is just bursting at the seams to talk more about her miracle baby. Asa announces she is going to have a son and half the table claps and celebrates, while MJ decides that Asa is a fraud. I get where MJ’s crazy train of a brain is going – Asa mentions she had seven frozen embryos, all male, sitting on ice and now she magically appears pregnant with a son. But in the same regard, I can’t understand why MJ seems to think it would be so easy for her to get pregnant right away at the age of 44 but it’s impossible for Asa to do it at 40.
Now that Asa has gotten her announcement out of the way, it’s time for everyone else to jockey for something important to say and Reza makes a teary toast about how much this trip has made him feel like a part of the Jewish family he never got love from growing up. Mike toasts to everyone’s courage for coming on the trip and laments about how they are all a tree and Israel ended up being the soil that allowed them to grow together. Let’s just hope this tree he’s talking about can withstand the sh*t storms of the rest of the season!
TELL US – THOUGHTS ON LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? WERE THEY TOO DISRESPECTFUL IN ISRAEL? ARE YOU OVER ASA’S PREGNANCY? DOES MJ HAVE A RIGHT TO BE IRRITATED WITH HER?
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