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Sister Wives Recap: Groomzilla

If TLC can drag out venue hunting for Mykelti and Tony‘s nuptials into two full-length Sister Wives episodes, then I “Truely” believe anything is possible. It’s Kody Brown‘s world, and we’re just living in it. I guarantee the Bloomington Country Club is second guessing its offer to comp this shindig for publicity. Poor Tonya is probably taking some time off now.

Tony and Mykelti are living in a dream world. They naively believe that hosting 400 guests for their wedding won’t be expensive. In fact, Mykelti will actually be saving her parents money by making most of the decorations. She’s envisioning a “Mexican vintage” theme because it “sounds cool”. I couldn’t make this up if I tried…

Sister Wives Recap:

The family is prolonging its meeting with Tonya, and the couple is a bit deflated when they learn that outside vendors and caterers are not permitted in the event space. The country club does its catering in house, but Tanya thinks 10 tacos a person is probably doable. Kody and Christine hope that Mykelti will come to her senses and realize how pricey this event is going to be. Christine doesn’t want to shortchange her daughter in the wedding department, but Tony’s demands are outrageous. Tony is haggling with the event coordinator about the price of tacos, and Kody gets nervous when he learns a traditional seated dinner could run him $40 a plate.

Mykelti asks a barrage of questions regarding the wedding officiant and what he is allowed to say. Tonya doesn’t care as long as they leave her alone about the taco stations for a hot minute. Kody wonders if the couple will ask him to marry them, but he promises he will not be upset if they have someone else in mind. I believe that as much as I believe that Tonya really likes her job at the moment. Cool guy Tony isn’t going to have traditional groomsmen. Instead he’s going to call his entourage “brosman”. Yeah, um, okay. Mykelti it’s completely taken by his cool approach to re-naming things, and she decides her bridesmaids will just be her “bitches”. Being the controlling teenage boyfriend that he is, Tony shoots down her joke very quickly. No wife-to-be of his uses that kind of language!

Sister Wives Recap: Groomzilla

The pair is hell-bent on visiting all of the potential venues in one day. Mykelti thinks it will be easier for her to make a decision if everything is fresh in her mind. On the way to venue number two, she and Tony stop by the family pawnshop where she’s been working the last year. She has a very important question to ask of her boss Chris, a friend of her father’s who is an active member of the LDS Mormon church. The couple is hopeful that Chris will officiate their big day. He seems more than a bit confused by the request, but he assures them he’s honored before rolling into some awkward comedy routine about the birds and the bees. Classic Chris! Mykelti is excited he’s up to the task. After all, if he hadn’t given her minimum wage to work at the pawnshop, she would’ve never met Tony who goes to Chris’s church. As the couple peruses second hand wedding bands, Chris explains to the TLC producers how heartbreaking it was when Mykelti was denied membership at his church.

Sister Wives Recap:

As the Brown crew enters the next venue, Mykelti announces that she and Tony just got out of a very important meeting. I swear the more these to attempt to sound like adults, the more they come across as kids pretending to be grown-ups. Janelle and Christine are thrilled with the decision to make Chris the officiant. Kody pretends he doesn’t care that he wasn’t first offer the gig while making ridiculous comments about Chris’s ability to speak in public. The unsuspecting coordinator takes the family for a tour. The view from the ceremony site is beautiful, but the space won’t likely accommodate all of the guests. Just like with the country club this place does not allow outside vendors. Thankfully they can do a taco night. Mykelti is bummed to hear that she will have to prepare for her wedding inside the venues bathroom. Of course when she sees it she changes her tune. She invites eight of her family members into the tiny room and they all shimmy and dance to make sure there is plenty of space for all of the wardrobe changes that are going to be taking place. It is a very awkward yet lighthearted moment which Tony ruins when he asked if anyone can loan him a tampon. For a reason I have yet to figure out, Robyn finds this comment especially hilarious.

Sister Wives Recap:

The last stop on the crazy train is The Falls, this tiny town’s premier wedding venue. The group spends more time touring the dressing rooms then the outdoor premises, and Tony bristles when Christine shuts down the wedding planner’s suggestion to bring in an Xbox to entertain the groom and his brosmen before the ceremony. Kody recognizes that the wedding day and the details going into it are usually the mainstay of the bride. He finds it odd that Tony has so many opinions, as if Kody wasn’t getting the last word on every one of his four weddings. Christine, Janelle and American are horrified when Mykelti and Tony reveal they plan to have giant piñatas made in their likeness at the reception. They plan to take the first swing at the other’s piñata in a rousing game of Beat the Bride and Groom. Tony wonders aloud if the piñatas can leak ketchup to make the game more life like. I’m starting to like Tony because he reminds me there is actually someone for everyone out there. As much as The Falls had to offer, the Bloomington Country Club is Mykelti’s final decision. She wasn’t picking a venue as much as she was picking the perfect coordinator. You did this to yourself Tonya!

Taking a break from the wedding plans, Meri invites Kody and her sister wives over to discuss her plans for the bed-and-breakfast. In typical Meri fashion, she does not give any context for the mysterious meeting, and it has Janelle and Christine concerned. Is Meri making her final dash for the hills? If so, I’m betting Janelle will drive the getaway car. Alas, Meri just wants the family cash to start up a business she knows nothing about in a town over three miles away. Christine, who clearly upped her happy pill dosage is all in without a second thought. She’s always secretly had her own bed and breakfast pipe dream. Janelle needs more information before jumping on board, but she understands her sister wife’s motivation when she learns that the house once belonged to Meri’s grandmother. She hasn’t seen a sparkle like this in Meri since she won the hard fought wet bar battle. As long as they can procure financing for the venture, she is giving her full support.

Sister Wives Recap:

Christine is even more thrilled when she hears the news her mother will be in charge of running the business. Now that she and Kody have stopped popping out babies, there isn’t as much child care for her mother to do. She certainly need something to fill her time. Kody cannot believe his ears. Are all of his wives ganging up on him? Does Meri even have a business plan? Are the consultants she has been working with doing anything more than lying to her and patronizing her? Meri pays little attention to his questions and revels in the support of her fellow sister wives. As Kody rants, she points out that his gut is busting through the buttons on the shirt, and Robyn chimes in to tease him. You’re outnumbered yet again, Kody! Who needs A business plan and actual bed-and-breakfast guests when you have nostalgia?

TELL US – WILL THIS BED AND BREAKFAST IDEA TAKE OFF?

Photo Credit: TLC

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