Oh Sister Wives. At this point, you’re just throwing story lines at a dart board and seeing what sticks. Am I right? However, TLC knows we’re going to tune into the OG pligs just as a place holder for whatever new and
disturbing intriguing polygamist rodeo comes on after Kody Brown and crew. I mean, those ladies make Meri, Robyn and Christine look completely normal. As for Janelle, she’s normal enough regardless.
Let’s start with childbirth, shall we? Madison and Caleb are meeting with their midwife to discuss the home delivery. Baby Axel will be arriving in about two months. Caleb is nervous about a natural childbirth outside of the hospital. He’s used to babies being delivered in the hospital. However, polygamists are veterans at home births. The thought behind this issue is not having the father signing a birth certificate that could point to the baby being born into a polygamist family. Madison is hoping for a water birth. Kody’s wives reminisce about their own home births. Caleb is wary…if he thinks Madison needs to go to the hospital, he’s taking her to the hospital.
Kody has finally agreed to accompany Meri to the bed and breakfast in Utah she wants to purchase. It was in her family for years, and it is her desire to buy it back for her mother to reside in going forward. Kody packs his bags and departs Christine’s bedroom, and his third wife is on her giddy meds. She praises Kody for his adorableness before sending him off with wife number one. Kody has Meri loading the car, and she’s insulted to learn he’s brought an audio book. Aren’t they supposed to chat about their multitude of problems while trapped in the car together? She begrudgingly allows him to bid farewell to Janelle and Robyn while Kody faults her for not “selling” this B&B idea to him.
Despite his reservations, Kody is all in for the road trip. That said, he’s concerned about returning to Utah after a stronger anti-polygamist law was passed in the state. Kody dials up his old reporter friend because, why not? He needs publicity wherever he can get it. Kody asserts that the new law is just going to send polygamists further into hiding. Kody jokes with the reporter that he and Meri aren’t felons under the law because they are divorced and no longer cohabitate. They’re basically just friends sharing a car on a trip to Utah. Meri is offended he felt the need to share that private information with a reporter. When she voices her concerns, Kody tries to charm her with jokes. Meri pretends to be okay, but you can tell she wants to back slap that ridiculous mane of perm.
The pair arrives in Parowan, Utah, and Kody isn’t interested in saving something from Meri’s family that only serves to suit her needs. Meri’s mother meets them to check out her new digs, and Kody wastes no time with his passive aggressive comments. The current owner of the bed and breakfast does her best to charm Kody with a hair flip and a hug. Kody gets a tour, and Meri jokes she is going to name the boarding rooms after Kody’s wives. He thinks it’s a terrible idea. Kody is a negative naysayer as he wanders through the rooms. Kody may be eyeing the current owner as wife number five when he jokes he can just move into the outside/shed. Kody concedes that the business is successful, and he’s starting to see Meri’s vision. Kody wants to use Utah’s latest law against the purchase, but he is all about making it work. He appreciates how the owner just sees him as a normal guy and not some wife hoarder. They are bonding. Kody wants to please her. The owner of this house possesses some sort of crazy power of persuasion, and I’d like whatever she’d peddling.
A tearful Meri equates this house with home since she figuratively peaced out of the cul-de-sac before her wet bar was even installed. Kody declares the house as magical and is confused by his own enthusiasm. He was just along for the ride to appease Meri, but now he’s really considering going into debt to own a house that feels incredibly “special” for him. Kody’s eyes are welling up, but he wants the business even if the math doesn’t work. Meri’s mom refuses to run a bed and breakfast, but the house is going to have to bring in additional income to be a viable investment. Kody is still hesitant because Meri’s mom wants to move into a house too large for her to maintain on her own. Likewise, Meri lives in a giant house on the cul-de-sac that is far too big for her needs. He doesn’t want to recommend they become roommates, and he recognizes that he is far more enticed by this business venture that he could have ever imagined.
Back in the cul-de-sac, Madison is balancing on a yoga ball after six hours of labor. Those two months flew by, didn’t they? Caleb, Kody, Christine, and Janelle are sitting around waiting for the next step. Caleb is confused by his wife’s upbeat demeanor. Why isn’t she riling in pain? Why the hell is she smiling? Bless Caleb. I can’t until Maddie rips off his head during a particularly “crampy” contraction. Caleb calls the midwife’s assistant to provide an update. If Madison is able to sleep through the contractions, she needs to do that until it’s time to deliver. Kody predicts his first grandson will debut at two in the morning. When the sun rises, Maddie seems no closer to giving birth. Caleb treats her to a spicy breakfast (and perhaps a walk) in hopes of speeding up the process.
After twelve hours of labor, Madison’s midwife arrives. She announces that Maddie is still in the early stages of labor, and the couple is disappointed. When is something going to happen? That afternoon, Caleb and Madison head out on a long walk. Something needs to kick start the birth. The couple heads to Christine’s house…perhaps to stock up on happy pills? Christine’s excitement is dual…she’s over the moon to be a grandmother, but she’s equally as stoked to be Axel’s Oma when she thinks she’s too young to have a grandchild. Given that Robyn is the latest Brown home birth, she wants to be supportive of Madison, but Robyn also doesn’t want to overstep her boundaries. While Robyn and Janelle aren’t close, Janelle is appreciative of her sister wife for making Madison feel more comfortable. Baby Axel has been on his way for more than a day and a half. Maddie is extremely impatient, and she’s desperate enough to go to Meri’s house to help package and ship yoga pants in Meri’s “social media targeted marketing clothing campaign.”
Rewinding back in time (or fast forwarding), we’re back focused on Meri’s bed and breakfast. Calling the other wives together, Kody discusses his recent trip with Meri and describes the house as “magical”. Christine and Janelle are confused by his choice of words. Meri explains that her mother doesn’t want to run it, but she’s alright staying there when the other rooms are being rented.
Kody challenges Meri‘s mother’s comfort zone…she’s going to have to help to run the business. He proposes financing the mortgage with a wedding venue package, and he wants to be hands off in the running of the business. Robyn speaks up to agree. She has My Sister Wife’s Closet, so she’s pretty busy and can’t contribute any man power. Christine isn’t opposed to the family helping, but she’d life some hard data marketing research to back the family’s decision. Meri shares with her sister wives that this Kody is the Kody she is used to knowing, but he is the polar opposite of the man who accompanied her to Parowan. The other wives aren’t surprised by this revelation. Kody basically tells Meri she’s on her own to make this work, and Janelle, Christine, and Robyn tiptoe quietly away from Meri’s side. She’s on her own. Meri hears them loud and clear. She’s ready to sell as many leggings as need be to prove them wrong.
Switching back to the baby birth story line, Madison is over being in labor for the last few days. Her midwife is going to perform some technique that will hasten his arrival. After sixty-five hours of contractions, Maddie cries in bed as Janelle urges Caleb to call the midwife’s apprentice. Janelle and Caleb decide to help Madison make it to the bathtub for her water birth, and Kody stops their trek to pepper Madison with stupid questions. It’s all about him after all! Janelle calls Christine–she’s invited in for the birth because she was such a huge influence on Maddie’s upbringing. Janelle is happy to include her sister wife and is appreciative of everything Christine has done over the years for Janelle’s biological kids. Kody tried to give Madison some stupid advice about relaxing, but she isn’t here for it. Kody takes offense…he knows a thing or two about labor. Wait what? No he doesn’t! Kody reminds his daughter that he’s been a birth coach a time or two, so he knows a bit more than she does. Beside this asinine diatribe, we’re introduced to the reason why Caleb is never seen without a hat.
Meri heads to Janelle’s to find out what happened to her packaging assistant, and Christine enlists Kody to grab some folding chairs. Janelle and all the wives (as well as some of the older girls) circle up in the bathroom to watch Madison write in the bathtub. After Madison pukes, TLC’s cameras are uninvited from the bathroom as the Brown family impatiently awaits the midwife. Thankfully, the mics are left on so we can hear all about it! An emotional Janelle gives an update to the producers as we hear Maddie’s screams in the background. The family clears out to allow Madison some time to rest.
Meri heads to pick up Mariah and girlfriend Audrey from the airport, with the hope that there will be a baby when they arrive back home. Caleb starts to chow down on a buffet of random food, but the midwife rushes to get him for the birth. Maddie exits the bath as it was prohibitive. After moving to the bed, we’re treated with more sounds from the birthing room. Meri, Mariah, and Audrey charge into the house only to awkwardly exit when they are unsure of Madison’s situation. Kody takes it upon himself to urge Madison’s final push. Of course he does. He coaches Caleb on how to catch the slippery baby. Too much information. Robyn’s eldest daughter and Madison’s sister listen excitedly from outside the bedroom door as they hear Axel’s screams. The family takes turns passing around the precious newborn while waxing poetic about the perks of this happening in a plural family.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DO THE BROWNS SEEM NORMAL COMPARED TO THE OTHER POLYGAMIST REALITY SHOWS?
[Photo Credit: TLC]