After all the craziness for the last four weeks, tonight’s episode of The Real Housewives of Potomac was relatively drama free. According to the men in my life, there is a basketball game playing on another channel, so I’m going to use a sports reference and say this was the halftime show; kind of entertaining, but certainly not the main event.
We resume where we left off last week: On the street outside Karen Huger’s Scentertainment Party. Robyn Dixon takes Monique Samuels up on her offer to come at her. Monique is multi-tasking by yelling at the Green Eyed Bandits in a pace that is comparable to the speed of light and at the same time counting her considerable fortune. Monique is not going to fight Robyn because one tap on the cheek and broke Robyn will be dragging Monique’s skinny butt into court. Robyn taunts her, but Charrisse Jackson and Karen manage to lead Monique away from the chaos. Everyone but Monique knows Robyn could drop her with a single punch. Charrisse tries to defend Monique to the rest of the group which makes Robyn and Gizelle Bryant go after Charrisse until thankfully security tells them they need to clear the street. Does anyone understand how Robyn is in the middle of this? It was originally between Ashley Darby and Monique. It’s like Robyn is working freelance as Ashley’s hired gun and Monique didn’t get the memo that she could outsource this fight. Once everyone else leaves, Monique breaks down to Charrisse. I love giving Charrisse a hard time, but she was on her best behavior this episode and gave Monique a much-needed shoulder to cry on.
The next day we pop over to Hanover to see what the Dixons are up to. Everyone there is now vegan, and Juan brings home lunch that is faux chicken. It takes some getting used to, but Robyn is supportive in Juan’s desire to not eat any animal products. They are planning their son’s birthday party and are going to invite Juan’s biological father, who Juan has recently discovered. His mom died a long time ago without ever revealing the truth, and Robyn has decided to hire a medium to contact his mom’s spirit. Also, if they still have time afterward, she’d like him to contact the scumbag who stole all their money as well. Every time she gets into an argument with Monique, Robyn’s lack of funds gets thrown in her face, and she has a few things she wants to get off her chest with the man responsible. Juan tells her to ignore words that can’t hurt her, but she just needs closure.
Monique has hauled her cookies and a toddler all the way out to Virginia to apologize to Karen. If that gesture alone isn’t enough to melt the Grand Dame’s heart, I don’t know what will. Monique’s daughter is really, really cute. Monique immediately apologizes to Karen for her behavior at the party. Karen is fine with it and accepts the apology. After all, she understands the frustration dealing with the bully team that she has christened Jack and Wack. Monique tells Karen that she is helping the Redskins with their Hurricane Harvey relief drive if Karen is interested. Karen is and offers to help.
Back in Potomac, Candiace Dillard and Little Chris are feeding fish and talking wedding plans (what else?). They want Chris’ three kids in the wedding, but his oldest is a teenager and Chris hasn’t seen him in years. In fact, Candiace’s mom doesn’t even know about this particular child. She thinks Chris just has two. Oh, seeing this episode should go over great with his teen child and the mom. Candiace knows she has to tell her mom soon because she doesn’t want to get to the front of the church of say “I do and by the way mom you now have three grandkids, not just two.” She decides to meet Mom for lunch. They talk wedding plans for a bit. Candiace likes The Willard as her venue, but the wedding planner is just one big vat of sadness. How dare this woman pour cold reality on Candiace when Candiace is all about fairy tales and unicorns? After taking a shot for some liquid courage, Candiace tells her mom about Chris’ secret teen son. Surprising Candiace, her mom takes it all in stride. Chris is waiting in the wings because his fight or flight instinct has kicked in. Happily, he can relax: The lioness is full and won’t be pouncing on him today. He joins them and tells his future mother in law that he hasn’t seen his son in nine years and isn’t sure if the boy will ever agree to see him.
Gizelle meets her stylist for some highlights and moral support. She is stressed out from too much on her plate. She has her make up line (which by the way is in Target now so high five to Gizelle on that), her book, her kids, and the MIA Sherman. To top it off, her mom just went through Hurricane Harvey in Houston, and she wants to move to Potomac and live with Gizelle. Gizelle doesn’t know where she stands with Sherm, so she doesn’t know if she needs to get a small house for just her mom or a big house where she, her mom, and her girls can all live together. She breaks down and leaves the chair to pull herself together. We rarely see Gizelle buckle under the pressure, so I think someone should give her a hug or Lisa Rinna’s Ziploc baggie. Her stylist is very sweet and gives her a peck on the forehead and tells her to put it in God’s hands.
It’s the day of the Harvey relief truck loading. Everyone but Robyn shows up to donate. Gizelle makes a quick appearance by dropping off a case of water and not talking to anyone. The rest of the women stick around to help out. They fill two U-Hauls to take to hurricane victims. Ashley and Monique agree to meet later to talk about what happened at Karen’s party.
At Mon Ami Café, the two women meet and the silence is awkward. Both order tea which Ashley in her confessional shades that she noticed Monique didn’t have a Martini. To that I say, “Oh really Five Beers?” Anyway, Monique explains why she’s so hurt. Ashley apologizes for what she revealed to Robyn, which she claims was an innocuous conversation. Monique says she understands and that she accepts the apology. Here’s the thing: Neither are being authentic. Ashley obviously doesn’t really feel bad as proved by her talking heads. Monique is now suspicious of everything Ashley says and does. This friendship is done, but neither is willing to be the one that declares is dead.
Justin, Robyn’s medium, arrives at her condo. Juan agrees to sit with them and Justin tells them that Nita is with them. Sure, maybe he Googled it, but the googler would have said “Juanita”, not “Nita”, so he’s really authentic! Now Nita is afraid of how she’ll be welcomed. She’s embarrassed how she passed. She was an IV drug user and died of AIDS. She hates the life she led but knows that if her life wasn’t the way it was then Juan’s wouldn’t have been what it is. Juan is freaking out because he always says that to Robyn. Justin then tells them that a man with a “P” in his name just showed up. That must be Phil who raised Juan. Phil admits that he isn’t Juan’s biological dad, but Juan already knew that. Justin’s final vision is of a man jumping off a bridge. They know this is Earl, the shyster who took their fortune and then killed himself. He’s content with his suicide and not really sorry for scamming them. Oh Earl… you rotten POS. At least Robyn now has closure. Justin’s final reveal is that Juan’s mom is glad Robyn and Juan are still together. I’m not saying Justin read the same article from the Baltimore Sun on Juan that I just did, but call me mildly suspicious. It doesn’t really matter, because Juan is happy they did this, and in the end, that’s all that really counts.
Tell us: What did you think about the preview for the rest of the season? Who do you think won the first half?
RECAP AUTHOR: DANA S.
Photo Credit: Bravo TV