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Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Season 4, Episode 9 Recap: Where’s Meredith Marks When I Need Her?

Previously on Real Housewives of Salt Lake CityLisa Barlow’s son Jack found out he was going to Bogotá, Colombia for his Mormon mission. Monica Garcia explained the unhealthy relationship she shares with her mother to a sympathetic Heather Gay. Meanwhile, Monica’s mom Linda called her daughter a “motherf***er” and told her she should just “get over” the fact that she was left to live with strangers when she was twelve. Yikes. Here are some of the highlights from RHOSLC Season 4, Episode 9: “Don’t Come for My Soundbath.”

Angie and Monica make peace

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Monica and Angie Katsanevas meet up at a bakery for a nosh and some conversation. Angie brought a gift for Monica and her daughters.

“It’s just a really sweet book about loving yourself,” Angie tells her, “and, like, asking for help when you need it.” That’s a very thoughtful gift. I might have to change my opinion of Angie K.

“I felt terrible about the way you left [Easter brunch],” she continues. She recognized that Monica was just really sad and that things weren’t good with her mom. Monica appreciates the gift, as well as the kind intent behind it.

“I hate that it went so badly,” Monica says. “For me, telling you what was being said was my way of being a friend.”

Angie accepted her explanation, but then said, “Lisa’s telling me that you are doubling down by saying [you’ve heard people say] ‘he’s good in bed.'”

“I didn’t say that,” Monica responded. “I feel like whatever Lisa says to you is doctored … I’m not gonna attack your relationship with her, but it is actually very damaging when she’s telling you things were said that were not said. My intent was never to cause harm.”

“That’s where I want to end it,” Angie says. “I’m done.” And just like that, they’re friends again.

In addition, Angie shares with Monica that her own mother was an alcoholic. She died when Angie was only eight years old. So her family wasn’t perfect either. In the end, Angie and Monica bond over doing their best as moms when neither of them had a solid role model growing up.

Bobbie’s Roller Rink Birthday Party

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Whitney Rose’s daughter Bobbie is having a 13th birthday party at the local roller rink. The day before the party, Lisa was at Whitney’s house, and Whitney warned her that she had invited Monica and her girls to the party.

“I talked to Monica,” Whitney tells Lisa. “She’s in a very abusive situation with her mom.”

But Lisa’s not buying it. “I love when things are conveniently abusive,” she says. “You know what? You can be abused and also be abusive. If your mom’s so horrible, f***ing make changes.”

“I don’t think she’s sincere in anything,” she adds. “At this point, I don’t value anything she says.” Well, that’s that then. Lisa’s mind is shut tighter than a Chanel clutch. She has no clue what it’s like to be abused and has no empathy whatsoever. It’s very sad, yet frustrating at the same time.

At the party, Heather relays that Lisa thinks Monica’s relationship with her mom is “embellished” and she’s “exaggerating” the situation for attention.

“Lisa doesn’t know anything about me,” Monica responds. “I feel like Lisa’s obsessed with me,” which causes Heather to burst out laughing.

“I mean, I just can’t imagine being middle-aged and [being] so bitter,” she adds. Oh, that’s mean, Monica, but the description fits. “F*** off, Lisa. If your life is so perfect, go live it … Why do you care about my relationship with my mom?”

With an absolutely perfect sense of timing, here comes Lisa rolling up on her skates. “Hey! What’s going on?” Oh, you don’t even want to know.

Lisa and Monica drown out the sound bath

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The next day is Whitney’s Prism Pop-Up Shop. Ooooh, pretty, sparkly things!

When anyone even tries to explain to Lisa why Monica is the way she is, Lisa doesn’t want to hear anything. She’s already decided she doesn’t like Monica, and she doesn’t want her opinion challenged.

“Monica is this little vampire who’s fueled 100% off of negative energy,” she says, sounding a lot like she’s describing herself. Hello, Kettle! “She is, like, horrible.”

Lisa just will not stop. When Whitney asks her guests to “sip and enjoy a little sound bath,” she has to shush Lisa by name. Lisa just can’t let it go and their bickering disrupts the quiet moment. Though she’s the one who can’t seem to stop talking, she tells Monica that she just wants to enjoy the “sound bowl.”

“Should I ask them to leave?” Whitney asks someone next to her.

“I am beyond pissed right now,” she says in a confessional. “Where is Meredith Marks when I need her? Do not come for my sound bath.”

Please, just stop talking

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Finally, Lisa gets everyone in the room’s attention when she yells at Monica, “Please stop talking to me!” That works both ways, Lisa. Just shut up and walk away.

Of course, Monica can’t let it go either and responds, “You don’t get to tell me what to do.”

“I’m bored with you,” Lisa says. Then walk away, girlfriend. It’s a good thing I wasn’t there ’cause I really want to punch Lisa right now – JUST KIDDING (not that I’ve ever punched anyone in my entire life, other than my little brother).

“You’re impossible to communicate with,” Lisa tells her. Again, works both ways.

“Well, then we’re the same person,” Monica fires back. That’s kind of what I just said, Monica.

“I’m bored with you,” Lisa tells Monica.

“Then stop talking about me … bitch,” Monica says.

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City airs on Tuesdays at 8/7c on Bravo.