Four episodes into the new season, the Real Housewives of Miami Season 7 taglines are finally here! In the first three episodes, RHOM viewers were wondering when they’d ever get this season’s full opening credits. Now, it’s looking like they waited to introduce new Real Housewife Stephanie Shojaee. How did the newbie do with her debut Real Housewives tagline? Where does she fall in the ranking of RHOM Season 7 taglines from worst to best? Read on below to find out more.
RHOM taglines ranked
Alas, the RHOM Season 7 taglines aren’t the best we’ve ever heard. They’re not the worst either, to be fair. But they’re mostly just okay and kind of forgettable.
I can’t help but wonder what the taglines of this show’s very iconic “friend of” cast members would be. Marysol Patton already has the most memorable line of the season so far: “Sometimes, what’s good for the hole isn’t what’s good for the soul.” Adriana de Moura wrote a whole poem from the perspective of Marysol’s liver. So who knows what she could come up with. Especially since she’s been vindicated and has a big feud this season. And, personally, I still don’t know why Kiki Barth doesn’t have her own mojito yet.
Here are the main Real Housewives of Miami cast members’ Season 7 taglines, ranked worst to best.
#6 Julia Lemigova: “My chicken coop is full and now so is my house”
Julia Lemigova’s tagline references the big changes to her home life this year. In the premiere episode, Julia revealed that she and her wife Martina Navratilova expanded their family and took in two boys. It’s certainly a bigger undertaking than her chicken coop.
As a tagline, my only reaction this was “Huh. Okay?” A more interesting tagline might mention Julia’s feuds with Guerdy and Adriana. Of course, her family news was supposedly the start of her feud with Guerdy. Although the more we find out about their other instances, the more that seems like a cop out. Maybe Julia sensed she’d be criticized for her actions towards Guerdy, and decided to focus on the positive instead.
#5 Alexia Nepola: “I may be a Cuban doll, but I’m no one’s toy”
Alexia Nepola’s RHOM Season 7 tagline ranks lower on this list because it gave me deja vu. It’s just too similar to Dorit Kemsley’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 14 tagline. Dorit’s was, “I may look like a doll, but don’t wind me up.” Both Dorit and Alexia are going through dramatic and headline-making divorces. Like Dorit, Alexia took her split as an opportunity to spill some major tea about her ex Todd Nepola. In Alexia’s case, basically, Adriana was right about everything.
Alexia has a lot of divergent feelings about Todd this season. Especially because they keep getting back together. But in Season 7 Episode 2, she got very raw about feeling used by Todd. So, the tagline is appropriate. We’ve just seen it before.
#4 Stephanie Shojaee: “I don’t just sell luxury, I live in it”
Stephanie Shojaee is the newest Real Housewives of Miami star. Alas, Stephanie’s debut RHOM tagline is just so-so. It doesn’t tell us much about the RHOM newbie aside from her job and that she’s wealthy. Stephanie is President of the Shoma Group, a real estate firm built by her husband Masoud Shojaee. She’s also shown off her wealth in the clips we’ve seen from her so far. For instance, she joked her private plane is pretty big. Looks like we’ll have to wait for more RHOM Season 7 episodes to get a better idea of Stephanie’s personality outside of her wealth.
#3 Larsa Pippen: “It’s hard to get on my bad side, because I don’t have one”
This RHOM Season 7 tagline from Larsa Pippen gets extra points because it made me laugh. Whether that was intentional or unintentional? Honestly, when it comes to Larsa, who ever knows.
Clearly, this is a cheeky way of Larsa to say she has no bad side, appearance wise. Reminds me of Scheana Shay, who talks about her good side so much she even titled her memoir My Good Side.
It’s an extra funny tagline because, as we’ve seen many times, it is actually quite easy to get on Larsa’s bad side emotionally. Her feud with Lisa is proof of that. It’s given us some incredible moments this season. From Larsa and Lisa being forced to face each other for a whole car ride to Larsa unsubtly taking a selfie while Lisa walked down the runway. Maybe I’m giving this one extra points just because it reminds me of those already iconic moments from this entertaining season.
#2 Lisa Hochstein: “I may not be prompt, but I’m worth the wait”
Again, the RHOM Season 7 taglines that made me laugh get extra points considering it’s a weak bunch this year. I appreciate Lisa Hochstein referencing her tendency to be, well, not exactly prompt. And I also generally like when Real Housewives are able to make fun of themselves a little bit. Lisa’s tagline shows a good sense of humor about her bad habits. In the meantime, it also portrays her confidence.
Overall, this tagline is representative of how Lisa is already having a much better season than RHOM Season 6. Of course, it’s not the easiest season for her, considering her dad’s passing and her very emotionally complex feelings about it. Overall, she seems happier, more confident, and more at peace in Season 7. Part of that may be because of Jody, who seems like a great match for Lisa, despite Larsa’s negative feelings.
#1 Guerdy Abraira: “I’m a fierce fighter, and an even stronger survivor”
Guerdy Abraira was one of our biggest reality TV heroes last year. The fashion icon bravely shared her journey with breast cancer last year in RHOM Season 6. Now, she’s cancer free! Meanwhile, in Season 7, Guerdy is showing the reality of being a breast cancer survivor. Including undergoing multiple reconstructive surgeries, and the complex feelings her husband Russell Abraira has about them. Being so open and vulnerable only makes her stronger. She really is a fierce fighter and strong survivor!
We also know that she definitely is a fierce fighter overall. Including in her feuds with her fellow cast members. Guerdy has a lot of support in her feud with Julia. Both from former and current co-stars as well as the RHOM viewers and fans. And not just because Julia absolutely crossed a line by throwing a drink at her.
This tagline is perfectly representative of why RHOM viewers love and are inspired by Guerdy. And that’s why it’s unquestionably number one in my rankings.
Real Housewives of Miami is available to stream on Peacock and Hayu in the UK and Ireland.
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