Below Deck is just a fool-proof reality TV show. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. Take a bunch of young, probably horny and drunk, employees, deprive them of sleep, and make them live in the tightest quarters possible for weeks. Let’s add some no-fucks-given bosses and sprinkle in some rich demanding customers…and…POOF! You have a masterpiece. Oh, and they cut their racist cast member’s scenes at lightening speed. Gotta love it.
This show and Below Deck Mediterranean have both been known to host some bigger names like baseball legend Johnny Damon. I mean, and then there are some that are not so big. I’m talking like Alexis Bellino and that Versailles lady. But you gotta walk before you can run, baby. It’s time to get some big wigs on this thing.
Every former Real Housewife claims that she left the show to “pursue other opportunities,” but pretty much none of them ever quit. In fact, many of them are completely unprepared for life without those Bravo paychecks, overcharging for Cameo videos and peddling laxative teas on Instagram to support themselves and pay for heavily discounted Botox injections.
Sure, some of them are smart with their money, but, at this point, financial issues are a staple among the Housewives, especially the former cast members. It’s par for the course, in all honesty.
Can I get an inflatable tube man dance and a wooooowwieeee!?! BAM! There’s some glitter in your face for good measure. Apparently, Lydia McLaughlin and her mother Judy Stirling from Real Housewives of Orange County are baaaAAAaack. Lydia was a total one season wonder…but TWICE. In season 8 Lydia boasted about her connection with her lord, Jesus. Meanwhile, her mom grappled with quitting “the pot” and keeping her feet off Vicki Gunvalson’s couch. In season 12 Lydia gave this show temporary new life when she rolled in looking like Charlie Chaplin. You know the scene. Never forget. I don’t even remember her mom in season 12. Must have been riveting.
Tamra Judge has even admitted she doesn’t think these recent seasons of RHOC have been their best. Can’t say I disagree. I miss the drama from Gretchen Rossi, Alexis Bellino, and even Heather Dubrow. Call me crazy, but the TV was good. Lydia, on the other hand, already misses Vicki on her screen. Well with taste like that…
Does the OG of the OC have a case of bitter oranges? Vicki Gunvalson made her unceremonious exit from The Real Housewives of Orange County at the conclusion of last season, and has wasted no time since she left bashing, belittling and other bad-mouthing the show that made her a reality TV legend.
On her podcast (because remember during the Season 12 reunion when she declared, “I don’t do podcasts”? Yeah, we do too…), Vicki opened up about her wildly vacillating emotions about saying goodbye to her life as a Housewife. She made a rather stark prediction about how the show will do without her.
Ex-housewife Alexis Bellino has always been known for her excess. During her time on Real Housewives of Orange County, we often heard her bragging about houses, cars and expensive handbags. Her castmates famously ganged up on her on their trip to Costa Rica to point this out. Gretchen Rossi called her materialistic. Vicki Gunvalson (rest in housewives peace) told her she should be saving money instead of buying cars. And super villain Tamra Judge called on Jesus Jugs to”be a true person” for once. The verbal barrage ended with Alexis retreating to her room in tears, saying that everyone was bullying her.
While her marriage to Jim Bellino ended and her paychecks from RHOC dried up once she
got fired from left the show, Alexis didn’t exactly reign it in. She kept the cash flow coming in from super awkward stints on Marriage Boot camp: Reality Stars-Family Edition and a new relationship with a guy that I’m assuming also has money. I don’t know how much but I do know it’s enough for them to land on an episode of Below Deck together.
Hell hath no fury like a scorned Shannon Storms Beador! Shannon is the last surviving member of the Tres Amigas on Real Housewives of Orange County. If we’ve learned anything about her over the years, it’s that she does not take any accusation or legal battle lying down. This woman makes it her job to ensure that we ALL SEE THE TRUTH!
This past season of RHOC we gained more info about the lawsuit filed by human garbage pile Jim Bellino against Shannon and Tamra Judge. Viewers discovered some of this information simply because Kelly Dodd likes to shout about legal issues (looking at you Jane Roe Vicki Gunvalson). But now this lawsuit has apparently been settled and Shannon is coming for Jimbo’s money in the name of Jesus – er Jesus Jugs.
In the cast shakeup heard around the world–OK–in Housewife Land–the departures of OG Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Judge from the Real Housewives of Orange County were recently announced. After Vicki’s demotion to Friend of last season, her exit was not a total shock. Tamra’s departure was a little more surprising. Housewife OG’s and long-time cast members are probably shaking in their Louboutins–if they are smart and their reality egos allow for reflections on their Housewife status.
Vicki went out relatively classy–thanking her fans for their support. Tamra took her leave when she was only offered three episodes to wrap up her storyline. Then she appeared to unfollow her former co-stars on Instagram. Who could blame her? Being shown the door has to sting. If all that wasn’t enough, both Vicki and Tamra have more fallout to deal with from their lives as former Housewives–besides tarnished reputations, that is.
Do male scorpions sting? Or is it females? Or both? On Below Deck everyone is feeling stung, which is maybe why they’re also lashing out.
Rhylee Gerber was doing fairly well after her pep talk from Captain Lee Rosbach saved her from getting fired, but a few crispy scorpions (and dickish deckhands) proved to be her undoing. Poor Rhylee – this is the worst case of gaslighting ever!
But first — sexyThaitimes! Alexis Bellino is still dry-humping her way to heaven. The former Real Housewives Of Orange County star is on board to celebrate her divorce from Jim by begging her new boyfriend to propose. Remember when Jesus Barbie aspired to be nothing more than the perfect Christian wife, toting a blinged-out bible to prayer practice (which obviously took place while simultaneously spinning)? Well Alexis abandoned that in a Coto Mansion. New Alexis is more Eve who ate the apple right off Drew Bohn‘s tree. Sadly we had to witness the whole thing.