Last week, my heart was breaking watch Kiko Lorran get fired mid-charter on Below Deck Mediterranean. Now, a week later I am absolutely fuming because Malia White decided to weaponize Hannah Ferrier’s mental health struggles by taking a photo of Hannah’s Valium prescription, CBD (which is legal), a lighter, and her adorable passport folder. Then,
like the snake that she is, she sent the photo to Captain Sandy Yawn.
Yeah, we know it’s maritime law for the captain to be in the loop about the crew members’ prescriptions, but why did Malia have to be so shady? Why did she take sneak in to take a photo when Hannah wasn’t around? Why didn’t she just bring it up with Hannah and Sandy in person, just to make sure they were on the same page about Hannah’s safety? Oh, right, because she doesn’t actually care about Hannah’s well-being.
Instead, she was being a brat because Hannah didn’t want to switch cabins so Malia could room with her boyfriend Tom Checketts for two weeks. Oh, and a reminder: Hannah OUTRANKS the bosun AND the chef and is actually in charge of cabin arrangements. Malia can quote “maritime law” all she wants, but Malia operated with zero tact and absolutely no consideration for what Hannah may be going through. Luckily for her, Captain Sandy plays favorites, so Malia got exactly what she wanted… with a side helping of backlash from the fandom. She and Captain Sandy aren’t the only crew members getting hate from the fanbase though. Bugsy Drake has been brought into this photogate controversy and guess who’s defending her? Hannah herself. Wow. Are pigs flying? Has hell frozen over?
I am still trying to swallow last night’s episode of Below Deck Mediterranean. First, Captain Sandy Yawn gets rid of my precious Kiko Lorran. Now, she’s coming after my Hannah Ferrier. Yes, I know what you’re going to say, trust me. Hannah is not your favorite. I know that she is polarizing. But can we cut the woman some slack for needing some (prescribed, mind you) to make it on that boat full of snakes?
While we didn’t see Hannah get fired on last night’s episode, we know it’s coming. We can thank Bosun Malia White and her tantrum for that one. After Malia threw a fit about not being able to room with her chef boyfriend, Tom Checketts, she marched right to Captain Sandy and tattled on everyone. Hannah specifically. Sandy played favorites as usual and Malia got her way, meaning Hannah and her nemesis, Bugsy Drake became instant roommates. Cut to Malia texting Sandy a picture of Hannah’s things, that she took out of her purse! And arranged for a photo! The audacity. Said photo included a CBD pen and some prescription valium, which Hannah takes for her anxiety disorder. Repeat after me: Malia. Is. A. Snake. How timely that she just so happened to stumble across Hannah’s things and report her to Captain Sandy after they fight.
Do you feel that? It’s the tide turning on Below Deck Mediterranean. This season has been a veritable rollercoaster so far, full of sudden exits, returning yachties from charter seasons past and even one scandalous, headline-making firing by Bravo. I mean, just take a look at how the show’s opening credits have changed from week to week. Last week, we unjustly said goodbye to Chef Kiko Lorran. But that casting change won’t even compare to the drama that’s about to rock The Wellington.
This week opens with sweet Kiko waltzing down the dock, luggage in tow. (Onto a better and brighter future without Captain Sandy Yawn backseat-driving his galley, surely). Hannah Ferrier is absolutely gutted by her pal leaving. She feels guilty for being partially responsible for the meal that sunk his ship. And, now, she doesn’t have a single true ally amongst the crew and she knows it.
I’m just going to come out and say it – I’m a Kiko Lorran stan. I’m not sorry either. It’s rare that someone comes onto Below Deck Mediterranean with such a sweet appeal. He’s friendly, thoughtful and well, adorable. Am I right, friends?
But sadly, it just wasn’t meant to be. Captain Sandy Yawn landed herself on my forever shit list when she fired him. I guess Sandy has a short memory because this is the same man who pulled out a 72-plate dinner. Either way, Sandy decided to find a new chef, leaving
me everyone heartbroken.
After it looked like fans of Below Deck Mediterranean were going to get a season of lady bosses taking over, the whole thing has turned into a big old mess #feminismbybravo. Hannah Ferrier has been tested by
producer plant permanently irritated Lara Flumaini. Lara’s parents must have repeatedly rewarded her for acting like a jackwagon, and it was obvious. Captain Sandy Yawn showed Lara the door, only to open it for Hannah’s nemesis, and frequent Claire’s Boutique shopper, Bugsy Drake.
The current season of Below Deck Med, previously lauded as “the one where women are in charge” has become a floating dumpster fire. A racist was discharged. A well-meaning chef has been axed. And Hannah is on the hook about taking a Valium for anxiety. Bugsy had a go with Hannah on previous seasons, but she is great buds with the yacht’s bosun, Malia White. THANK GOODNESS Malia’s boyfriend, whose visit coincides with Chef Kiko Lorran’s strange termination, has a vast amount of chef experience. Word on the street is Captain Sandy, Bugsy, Bugsy’s 14 hairclips, and Malia might be plotting against Hannah to defeat her legacy once and for all. Viewers also suspect Kiko’s firing was a set up to bring in Malia’s boyfriend. Bugsy attempts to address these rumors on social media, and Hannah shared her thoughts as well.
This season of Below Deck Mediterranean has had some really rough seas. And obviously, I’m not just talking about their charters.
First, we had to deal with Hannah Ferrier’s conflict with second stew, Lara Flumiani. Whether you love or hate Hannah, you have to admit that Laura had a crap attitude. So it’s no surprise Laura quickly gave up and left the boat, opening the way for Bugsy Drake to rejoin the crew. Despite Hannah and Bugsy’s past beef, both have seemed to work well together (so far). Next, we had the firing of Pete Hunziker for racist behavior. So good riddance! As if that wasn’t enough for you, now we have Bosun Malia White telling on Hannah for having valium on board. This season is a mess.
Hannah Ferrier took it heart when Captain Sandy Yawn fired Kiko Lorran. She did advise him on the underwhelming Vegas dinner menu, but the endearing Below Deck Mediterranean chef wavered between excellence and frantic scrambling in the kitchen, which ultimately lead to his termination. He had a unique talent, but his sensitive spirit couldn’t handle the hostility of Captain Sandy’s micromanaging.
Kiko’s firing led not only to his unraveling emotions, but Hannah’s as well. She experienced a panic attack. It was a very vulnerable and painful moment to watch. The footage resonated with one crew member in particular, who revealed that she too, struggles with anxiety.