Mallorca

Wow. Lara Flumani has set a new record for the worst stews in the history of Below Deck Mediterranean. And that is a show that has no shortage of emotionally challenging stewardesses! It’s almost like the editors wanted to give Hannah Ferrier a redemption send-off so they hired a person who would definitely make Hannah look good, no matter what.

Lara and Hannah just can’t seem to find any common ground. I blame Lara who views the entire world as being made of extra sharp knives she has to walk over. I refuse to believe she was some sort of super stew, as she claimed on her CV.

Lara has decided that Hannah is not her boss because she doesn’t like to be bossed, whereas Hannah has decided that Lara definitely needs to be bossed. And sassed. Honey. While the guests are playing an after-dinner drinking game, Lara and Hannah are arguing while clearing the table. This all came about because Lara feels condescended to by Hannah requesting she do 3rd stew responsibilities because she has a bad attitude. So hat does Lara do but fight bad attitude with a bad attitude.

Well Below Deck Mediterranean is back, but literally nothing changed. Hannah Ferrier is still obnoxious and a terrible chief stew, Captain Sandy Yawn is overbearing and phony. OK – changed my mind. One thing has changed: Malia White is here again but this time she is a bosun who has no time for the boys. Malia actually didn’t annoy me this episode. So that has also changed.

The crew is setting sail in Mallorca Spain aboard The Wellington, the biggest yacht they’ve ever had, which means we have a 4-person deck crew, two of whom are rejects from Jersey Shore.

Captain Sandy is on my last nerve before Hannah has even stepped onto the boat. She is practically choking on her own words when she claims to truly believe Hannah is a hard worker who wants to do a good job, which is why she hired her back. See, no, this is BS that absolutely no one believes. I hate when reality television so infringes upon actual credible reality – why can’t Sandy just say Bravo made me hire Hannah.