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Pump Rules

Ramona Singer & Tinsley Mortimer

Real Housewives of New York star Tinsley Mortimer’s storyline has been very similar the past couple of seasons. Mainly her desire to have a family and a willing partner to join her. Her tagline this year perfectly summed it up, “Game, set, now I need a match.” Plus, who knew she was also a good tennis player?

Tinsley thought she had found her perfect match when she started dating Carole Radziwill’s friend Scott Kluth. But it didn’t take long to see that the relationship was one sided. Scott was always MIA. When he did show up, Tinsley embarrassed herself by acting like a fan girl. Thankfully, because of the tick tock of Tinsley’s ticking clock (say that three times fast), Tinsley realized it’s time to move on.

Andy Cohen To Host Float At WorldPride March

In addition to being the patriarch, godfather, and ultimate supreme ruler of all things Real Housewives, Andy Cohen is a new dad and the host of Bravo’s late night talk show, Watch What Happens Live.  As the first openly gay American late night talk show host, Andy has long been an eloquent and gracious advocate for LGBTQ+ rights.

New York City is currently hosting WorldPride, the world’s largest Pride event, spanning the entire month of June.   The Bravo network is known for its support of the LGBTQ+ community.  So it is no surprise that Bravo and Andy have a float in the parade this year.

Vanderpump-Rules-Scheana-Marie

We all know Scheana Marie. Whether you like her or not, her storyline kicked off the phenomena known as Vanderpump Rules. Back then all she wanted was a pop singing career and friendship with the “in” crowd. We have watched Scheana go from blushing bride to worldly divorcee. She has not been shy about her voracious appetite for the opposite sex, nor does she apologize for her escapades while single. Along the way, she still tried to fit in.

Scheana has been known to stir the Pump Rules pot, but isn’t particularly harmful. I mean, when compared to pit vipers like Katie Maloney or Kristen Doute, her actions are relatively benign. Over the years, viewers develop strong feelings and fans of popular programs become, very dedicated. Being anonymous behind a keyboard often causes people to lose their minds manners. Commenters can be blatantly rude or resort to online bullying. Recently Scheana encountered a cyber bully, and she let her followers know, she’s not here for that crap.

Vanderpump Rules Pride

LA Pride has become a staple on each Vanderpump Rules season. Every year, Lisa Vanderpump and the rest of the cast members go all out for Pride. Every single one of them gets in on the celebration.

And, for the most part, they all dress up in some festive outfits, especially the ladies. And Tom Sandoval, of course. He always comes through for a thematic event and Pride is no exception.

Lala Kent Opens Up On Brittany Cartwright Asking Her To Be A Bridesmaid

What happened to the Vanderpump Rules of seasons past, where the focus was on restaurant drama, hooking up, partying, and cheating? Gone are the days of Jax Taylor throwing down wearing a chunky sweater or Stassi Schroeder saying she is the devil. Now the focus has shifted to engagement parties and crop top wedding dresses. Andy Cohen, if you’re reading, maybe it’s finally time for a recast.

The latest Pump Rules couple who will be divorcing tying the knot are Brittany Cartwright and Jax. Brittany’s dream ever since she was a little girl was to have a fairy tale wedding, y’all. I’m sure she didn’t plan on marrying the court jester, but to each their own. This fairy tale wedding also includes 800 bridesmaids coast to coast, and Brittany made it clear to Lala Kent that she couldn’t possibly make it 801. 

Lisa Vanderpump On Leaving Real Housewives The Future Of Vanderpump Rules

Much like King Edward VIII abandoning his post as the King of England, Lisa Vanderpump has abandoned her throne as the queen of  Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  But Lisa did not abscond for love.  She did it for a much less romantic reason…

In case you have a life, unlike me, are not following along at home, let’s quickly recap: Dorit Kemsley and fam adopted a dog from LVP’s rescue, Vanderpump Dogs.  Dorit and PK Kemsley’s kids named said dog Lucy Lucy Apple Juice. I don’t get why they didn’t name the dog Lucy Lucy Apple Juicy so it rhymes, but they all have weird accents so maybe they don’t rhyme like the rest of the English-speaking world.  I’m a little fuzzy on the rest of the facts, because this entire season of RHOBH basically revolved around #puppygate.

Brittany Cartwright Bachelorette Party Vanderpump Rules

Since Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz’s joint bachelor/bachelorette party went so well, the Vanderpump Rules cast decided to apply the same concept in honor of Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright’s big day. In case you didn’t detect my sarcasm, or if you’re a new viewer, Tom and Katie’s party was a complete and total shit show.

Yes, in a fun way, but also in a cringe-worthy way, i.e. the arguments. It was rough to see Tom and Katie arguing just before they tied the knot. Who could ever forget Tom Sandoval dressed in drag yelling about how Schwartz is a “battered wife”? Let’s hope that Jax and Brittany’s joint party was not reminiscent of Tom and Katie’s trip.

Lisa Vanderpump Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills - Lisa Vanderpump

After much speculation, and what seems like a million discussions about “puppy gate,” Lisa Vanderpump made it official and quit the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She didn’t even attend the reunion, depriving her former friends  enemies the chance to attack again on camera. Still, I would have liked to see a calm, cool, and collected LVP at the reunion, chilling on a couch next to Lucy Lucy Apple Juice.

If we have learned anything from ‘puppy gate,” it is that no one should adopt a dog and ignore what the rules are in the adoption contract. Dorit Kemsley didn’t return Lucy, she instead allegedly re-homed dropped Lucy at a shelter. Most of the drama from this season resulted from this act. Who leaked the story about Dorit and Lucy to the tabloids? Of course, most of the RHOBH Housewives believed it was Lisa, even though she passed a lie detector test. Was Lisa using Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave to spread the story about Dorit? Teddi, you may have heard, specializes in accountability. Sometimes.