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Heather Clashes With Alexis

It’s time to pop the champs, Real Housewives of Orange County fans — Fancy Pants Heather Dubrow is back. And to Vicki Gunvalson’s glee, she’s on a mission to Make OC Classy Again, whatever that means. Not only is Heather in, but Braunwyn Windham-Burke and Kelly Dodd are out with their messiness. Heather was one of the first Real Housewives to call out Kelly for her bad behavior during her first season on the show, so she’s a good judge of character. Plus, Fancy Pants gets that Housewives’ is a sport and needs to be tackled as such. And she’s actually filthy rich, which always makes for fun TV, especially when it’s earned AUTHENTICALLY (hear that, Erika Jayne?)

Heather announced her triumphant return on her podcast Heather Dubrow’s Worldwhere Bravo daddy Andy Cohen was the guest. The two talked about her return as well as teased another old school housewife from another city making a similar return sometime soon. And even though Terry Dubrow tried to persuade fans that his wife wouldn’t make a return, thank the Bravo gods he was wrong.

Heather Thomson Real Housewives Of New York

Heather Thomson’s random inclusion in the Real Housewives of New York cast getaway to Ramona Singer’s Hamptons house seemingly served the sole purpose of whipping Leah McSweeney up into a frenzy.  I’d venture a guess that producers were hoping the fallout from Heather’s podcast would cause more of a reaction from Luann de Lesseps or Sonja Morgan.  But the Breakfast at Tiffany’s dinner was rather tame by RHONY standards.  Ramona and Leah had a heated argument about proper decorum at the table, but that’s standard.

No, the big payoff for shoving Heather into this mess was her fight with Leah in the van.  They were going tit-for-tat the whole time, but it all came to a head when Eboni K. Williams told Leah about a conversation she had with Heather.  A little bit of misinformation, and the stress Leah was feeling about her grandmother led to an altercation on the way to Pageant night.  And ironically, the whole thing could have been avoided had Eboni not thrown in the word “irresponsible.”

Heather Thomson Real Housewives Of New York

Real Housewives of New York has turned into another Real Housewives of Messy Town and it’s becoming all too common lately. Allow me to be completely transparent and say I have no dog in this fight. Both of the people involved usually run their mouths incessantly and saying anything even remotely worthwhile is a rare occurrence. Heather Thompson came back for a few brief appearances on RHONY and to say Leah McSweeney was locked and loaded would be pretty accurate.

Leah was already mad, but the anger is being blamed on her grandmother’s poor health. Before Heather showed up, Leah started lighting matches by pouring over the internet in search of articles containing Heather’s smack-talking. After dinner table dramatics, communications broke down because Leah likes to impress people with her wokeness but Heather clearly knows the Black experience because she has photos with Puff Daddy. So deciding who is more to blame for acting like an idiot is difficult for viewers. According to Heather, if Leah had just stayed home with her ill grandma, all of the drama could have been avoided.

RHONJ-Danielle-Staub

Is there anyone out there is Housewives Land that is thirstier for attention than Danielle Staub? She hasn’t been a full time housewife in forever but it’s not for lack of trying. She attempted to claw her way back onto Real Housewives of New Jersey two seasons ago. Pulling on the extensions of rival Margaret Josephs’ was a really power play. Sadly, did nothing to get her back on screen. One uneventful brush off at a lunch with Melissa Gorga and Danielle was once again on the outs.

She’s been persona non grata for so long I was a little shocked to see her on screen again. She appeared for the Erika Bamboozle Jayne documentary The Housewife and the HustlerBeverly was interviewed to provide some kind of insight on Erika’s life, despite having only met her once on Watch What Happens Live. According to Danielle, she didn’t get a good vibe. And that was the extent of it. So how did Danielle even land this gig to begin with? She was probably the only ex-housewife willing to sit down and talk about it. Well, her and Dana/Pam Wilkey, who doesn’t really count as a housewife in my book.

Dorit Kemsley Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

Dorit Kemsley kicked off Season 11 of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills with a glammed-up barbecue. That is so on-brand for Dorit.

She formerly designed bathing suits and named them after her co-stars. Now Dorit is upping her fashion game. She is designing bridal gowns.

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Kyle Richards

The ladies of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are bringing it this season. And it’s a refreshing change from the past few seasons filled with gang-ups, deflections and a whole lot of NOT owning it. We know that Erika Vain Jayne’s fishy divorce and ongoing legal issues with Tom Girardi will be addressed shortly, and she’s choosing her words carefully since the feds are tuning into Bravo now. Sutton Stracke is putting her new diamond to work with her constant crying and ugly feud with newbie Crystal Kung Minkoff. Garcelle Beauvais is not over Lisa Rinna’s behavior last season toward her so-called friend Denise Richards. And it’s pretty hilarious to watch Rinna continue to try to brush it off, while Garcelle refuses to let up. And don’t even get me started on the joy that is Kathy Hilton, the true savior of RHOBH.

It appears as though the RHOBH cast is paying attention to what fans have been saying about the past few seasons. Rinna is doing overtime to try to appear like a good friend. The girls are learning to throw shade in every direction, rather than ganging up on one person. Well, unless that person is Lisa Vanderpump.

These ladies, particularly LVP’s old buddies Dorit Kemsley and Kyle Richards, will never let up on shading the Brit for their volatile past. And while a Kyle and LVP reconciliation would happen when pigs fly (or when Erika is actually HONEST about ANYTHING in her life), the two can’t help but have a little fun by being shady to one another in the press. To me, it honestly seems like they miss each other because they both love to bring the other up any chance they get. It’s almost kind of endearing, in some sick and twisted way.

Kyle and Bethenny talk Kim

There’s truly nothing better in my book than a Bravo crossover. It’s why I’m jumping in my seat for Bravo to air Winter House (I will never get used to Summer House Winter Charm) and the Real Housewives All-Stars special. Even singular episodes, like when Real Housewives of New York alum Bethenny Frankel made a guest appearance on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. B and Kyle Richards go wayyyy back and it was everything to see them together on-screen. B shaded Erika Jayne. She kept her cold sense of humor around a bunch of glam valley girls. And, of course, there were SkinnyGirl margs. Sounds to me like Christmas morning.

Like I said, Kyle and Bethenny have history. They met in the 90s in LA and B even served as an assistant to the one, the only Kathy Hilton. The throwback pics are EVERYTHING and worth a deep-dive to see these two ladies starting out their adult lives, big hair and all. However, they both take (or in B’s case, took) their time on Real Housewives very differently. Kyle would have to leave RHOBH kicking and screaming, while B never wants to return. Kyle is putting on a front of close friendship among her co-stars while Bethenny isn’t afraid to lash out and burn bridges. Maybe that’s why their friendship lasted so long — because they both live on different coasts of the U.S. and don’t see each other that often. Let alone, they’ve never appeared full-time on the same show.

Eboni K. Williams Real Housewives Of New York

The Real Housewives of New York have had quite an intense (and dare I say, dragged out) trip to the Hamptons. Ramona Singer was forced to face her bad behavior head-on when Eboni K. Williams called her out for using the term “the help” to describe her staff. Sonja Morgan had a meltdown or two about her love life, J.P. Morgan, and everything in between. But thankfully, Eboni is by her side to help her regain her confidence. Leah McSweeney, aside from dealing with some serious family issues back in the Big Apple, has been feuding heavily with Holla Heather Thomson. And Luann de Lesseps has shown her white fragility, calling Eboni “angry” for merely saying she has more formal education than her co-stars. And in between all of that, we had nude models, themed parties and a whole lot of meaningless bickering.

During Eboni’s first season as the first Black RHONY housewife, she’s been central to the plot. And forcing the group of upper-class white women to actually talk about racism and internal bias. Last week’s episode was another lesson in microaggressions, ending with the Countess apologizing to Eboni for her words (and her ego asking for an apology in return.) Truthfully, it made me understand why Eboni needed a social media break so badly. The only one who understood their need to sit down, shut up and listen was Miss Morgan, my queen.