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“Do you not think I have better things to do with my time than to drive by the streets of Franklin Lakes?” were the words of Danielle Staub, who was shown during the season premiere driving by the streets of Franklin Lakes to stalk spy on her castmates.

The above statement pretty much summed up part 2 of the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion. It was mostly the others accusing and confronting Danielle, who’s MO coming into the reunion taping seemed to be Deny, Lie, Deny, Lie, Deny and more Deny. And despite Andy Cohen’s claim that the part 2 of the reunion would be more shocking and more dramatic than the first part, it was all but obvious last night that the best had come and gone last week.

The reunion starts out with Danielle being confronted about the events that took place during the Brownstone charity fundraiser. Immediately, we see Danielle denying things she said, you know, things that we all saw her say on national television.

Danielle’s ex-con buddy, Danny‘s use of a gay slur, is then brought up. Danielle immediately goes on the defensive and keeps saying she will not take responsibility for Danny’s comment. Perhaps I missed something, but no one was asking Danielle to take responsibility for his comment, they were simply asking her why she was never shown condemning Danny’s use of the word, or scolding him about it, considering she is a gay advocate and all. And by gay advocate, I wonder if that means exploiting a faux lesbian relationship for self promotion?

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The stalking claims are brought up, and Caroline shares that her neighbor told her he always sees Danielle lurking around in her white range rover. Danielle immediately denies this despite the fact we all saw her do this exact thing earlier on this season.

Some more words are exchanged and Danielle does a sequel to her part 1 act by walking away from the stage. As Jacqueline tries to go backstage to confront the drama queen, we see Andy hold her back. “I’m a born again virgin making a sex tape,” says Jacqueline while mocking Danielle. Backstage, we see Danielle asking her “girlfriend” Lori if they ever go driving in Franklin Lakes. “Yes or no?” asks Danielle. Oddly enough, Lori doesn’t give an answer.

The text war between Danielle and Ashley is brought up and Danielle lies once again when she claims she never replied to any of Ashley’s texts. Twittergate is brought up and Danielle once again denies tweeting “I hope your birthday wishes come true” to a nutty fan who wished Ashley would commit suicide on his birthday. I personally saw the tweet on Danielle’s twitter as so did many others, and she definitely, 100% tweeted this. Not only that, she left the tweet up for weeks, despite the outrage about it.

This lie and pretense by Danielle pretty much did it for me. This lady is nuts! She is a pathological liar and good actress. Very vindictive and calculating. I don’t even think she believes her own lies, she’s just a darn good actress.

Next, it’s time to re-hash the fashion show fiasco. We find out Teresa continues to live in denial as she states she wasn’t the one who started the fight. Andy reads a viewer question to Danielle, from a viewer who like me, doesn’t believe Ashley pulled out the amount of hair extensions Danielle is claiming. Quite frankly, I’m still not convinced Ashley pulled out anything at all.

In an attempt to prove her point, Danielle springs out a doll with hair extensions, wanting to demonstrate to the world how painful it would be to get the strong extensions yanked out. Danielle’s plan backfires as it takes Andy two attempts before finally succeeding in pulling out a piece of the extension, that is after pulling and pulling for some odd seconds. Watching this and going back to watch the tape of Ashley’s actions, I’m more convinced Danielle is full of crap.

Andy asks Danielle about her dramatic reaction to the fashion show fiasco, and Danielle denies she’s an actress, stating her hysterical act from the fashion show was genuine. “It won’t happen again. I won’t run again,” says Danielle, who at this point has walked off the stage twice during the reunion show. Danielle is confronted about calling Ashley a “coke whore,” and she once again denies denies denies, blaming it all on Kim G. for feeding her the gossip.

It’s now time to watch the three-faced act of Kim G., as we are forced to re-live the horror of the old lady pole dancing with her thong hanging out. Kim G. makes her arrival, and the always messy Andy immediately brings up her comment about Danielle’s “fake and square” tits.

Kim G. and Danielle immediately start going at it, with the pot accusing the kettle of using her to get on the show. The kettle rejects this notion, accusing the pot of using her by getting full access to her personal driver. Carmela interrupts, deciding she needs to ask the kettle some questions, and we see the kettle, who badly wants in on this show, immediately start kissing up to Carmela, denying all accusations.

Must say Kim G’s kiss-ass fest to Caroline was a bit nauseating to watch. The best part of the show then occurs as we see Kim G. and Teresa get into it. Andy reads some of Teresa’s comments about Kim G. and she immediately loses it.

Andy then goes on to read a tweet by Kim G., which was probably the best quote of the show. “I’m going to Rome for an out of control shopping spree. Too bad Teresa can’t come. Sorry, no money. Sad but true,” tweeted Kim G. and upon hearing this, Teresa looked to be a bit hurt. The best part of Kim G’s appearance was seeing all the ladies on the same page for once, but as we are about to see, this common ground does not last long.

It’s now time to discuss the court case involving Ashley, as well as the season finale showdown between Caroline and Danielle. As this is being discussed, Jacqueline has an “epiphany,” in the words of Andy. She becomes emotional and shares that she is tired of all the drama, and back & forth. “I really don’t want to do this anymore,” says Jacqueline. Danielle also apologizes and claims she is done with all the drama.

Danielle then begins the last part of her act as she tears up, claiming all she wanted was an apology from Ashley, despite insinuating several times on the show that she wanted to get back at everyone, Ashley included. Caroline is seen rolling her eyes, making it pretty obvious she isn’t buying whatever it is Danielle is trying to sell.

In closing the show and this rather long season of the Real Housewives of NJ, Andy asks Danielle if she will be dropping all litigation/lawsuit threats against her co-stars. The crafty Danielle doesn’t give a simple yes or no answer, instead stating she “will be contacting her attorneys to make sure that there is peace for everybody.”

Teresa then says some nice words to Danielle, well nice for Teresa’s standards. Danielle immediately rushes over to give Teresa a hug, and get ready folks, as Bravo is about to bring you the-most-awkward-hug-in-the-history of television.

My thoughts during the 45 second hug -

  • 0.01 – Okaaaay.
  • 0.05 – They’re still hugging, okaaay.
  • 0.10 – The hug’s not over yet?
  • 0.15 – Boy, this is awkward.
  • 0.25 – This is really awkward.
  • 0.40 – Is Jacqueline feeling as awkward as I am?
  • 0.45 – Wheew, that’s finally over.
  • 0.46 – Hmmm, wonder if she’s going to try to hug Caroline as well?

And yes, the hug lasted 45 seconds! As we all saw, Danielle instead offered a handshake to Caroline, who hesitated before shaking her hand. As Andy tries to wrap up the show, we see Caroline with a look that indicates she has something to say. And boy, did she have something to get off her chest.

“This is the biggest crock of sh*t I’ve ever seen in my life. I have to be honest, if I’m a bitch, I will own it… This was phony.” Whew! Thanks Caroline. For a minute there, I thought I was in a twilight zone. As soon as Danielle senses the rejection from Caroline, she immediately goes back to the old Danielle, raising her voice and calling her Caroline a puppeteer. Sighs, now that’s more like it. Nice to have the real old Danielle back.

While it was nice to see Jacqueline willing to let go of the drama, I truly hope she didn’t believe Danielle’s act from last night. It was all phony. I wasn’t buying any of it, not the fake tears, not the fake emotional breakdown, and definitely not the fake 45 second hug. Fake, fake, fake! It was all FAKE. In my opinion, Danielle is truly troubled and needs a lot of help. A lot of viewers mention that Danielle and NYC Housewife Kelly Bensimon are the resident crazies of Bravo. I definitely agree with this, except I’m convinced we are dealing with two different kind of crazies. While Kelly is likely in dire need of some strong meds to help correct some chemical imbalances, Danielle likely needs some many years of intensive help on a therapist’s couch to help her become a decent human being.

So, the 2nd season of the NJ housewives is officially over. The 16 episodes we had this season was about 13 episodes too many in my opinion. Nothing really happened other than Danielle. It seems the most interesting events were taking place off camera. Teresa’s bankruptcy anyone? The entire cast and show was centered around Danielle so much, that we likely missed out on some other more interesting story lines. So with the addition of Teresa’s sister-in-law Melissa Gorga, whom Teresa hates, here’s to hoping next season will be better, and that Teresa will return.

TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS SEASON OF THE NJ HOUSEWIVES? WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE NEXT SEASON?

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