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“If somebody’s husband is cheating on them, she would know it.” – Camille Grammer #FamousLastWords.

On an awesome scale of 1 – 10, I would say last night’s episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was about a 9. On an insanity scale, maybe a 20. But after watching the ‘Dinner From Hell‘ episode, I’m thoroughly convinced that Camille Grammer is an evil genius. I mean, how else can we explain her ability to find someone more obnoxious, more delusional and more despicable than she is? Sitting next to the medium nut job aka Allison Dubois almost made her seem human and not like the monster she is. Something tells me Bravo is calling up Allison as I write this, trying to sign her up for the next season of the Real Housewives of NYC.

With that said, let’s get right to the recap! The episode begins with a cutesy useless scene of Lisa and her hubby going for a drive. Moving right along to Camille and Taylor having lunch. Camille reveals she hasn’t hung out with most of her costars since the NYC drama and tells Taylor she is planning a dinner get together for all the ladies. Camille reveals she’s “cautiously optimistic” about the dinner, you know, because she’s an innocent little victim and has zero parts in any of the drama that has taken place.

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Camille then shares that her “good friend” Allison Dubois will be her guest. Camille reveals Allison is a medium and that the TV show Medium, which is now canceled by the way, is based on her life. Oh yeah, this also happens to be a TV Show that Kelsey‘s production company produces aka Allison is yet another friend on Camille’s payroll. Camille brags that Allison is able to get “many different hits” on different people but please don’t ask her to do any readings at the dinner because she is just a guest. In her interview, Camille lets us know Allison likes to drink and when she has too many, she likes to hit below the belt. PSA – If this is the best description you can give about someone you call a friend, then perhaps it’s time for you to make a new friend.

In watching this scene again today, I must say I now believe the whole bringing Allison to dinner was definitely a setup by Camille. My theory is the first part of the set up was so that her good friend Allison could read Kyle and then give Camille some ammunition to use against Kyle in the future. Remember Camille told Taylor that Allison is able to get “many different hits” on people. I think the second part of the setup was supplying Allison with plenty of alcohol so that she can then hit Kyle below the belt. If my hunch is right, this makes Camille even more despicable than I originally thought.

It’s now time for Camille to call up the other ladies to invite them to the dinner from hell and we get some comic relief as Camille attempts to hold a conversation with Lisa’s answering machine. Good one Lisa. Camille also calls Kyle who makes it clear she already has dinner plans with a friend but would either try to get out of it or bring the friend. Camille states this is okay. This is key as Camille will later accuse Kyle of bringing her friend as a “setup.”

Plus, can we please keep a count on how many times Camille and Allison both mention the fact that Allison is medium or that the canceled TV show Medium is about her?

Lisa is in her 15,000 sq. ft. mansion getting ready for the diner from hell and she opens up a bag with some pink Louboutins. We quickly discover that the ladies of Beverly Hills not only wear the designer shoes but are also able to get them autographed by Christian Louboutin himself. Must be nice.

Kyle is also home getting ready with her hair stylist Pamela, who might or might not be the long lost twin of Alexis Bellino, you know, before the countless plastic surgery procedures. Kyle mentions that she is bringing her close friend Faye Resnick whom she already had dinner plans with.

Camille is also shown on her home turf getting ready for hell, oops I mean the dinner from hell. Helping Camille get ready is her “good friend” D.D. aka her make-up artist.

Taylor, Adrienne, and Lisa enter a limo en route to the event while I try to figure out what the heck Adrienne is wearing. In another limo is Kim, Kyle and Faye. As I start thinking what is it with all the limos, I realize it’s probably so that Bravo can properly film the ladies for the pre-show and post-show of the dinner from hell. Me thinks Bravo knew just how this night would end. In the limo, Faye teases Kyle that perhaps Camille might end up becoming one of her best friends though Kyle makes it clear that will never be the case. “Her reality and my reality are two different things,” states Kyle.

The first group of ladies arrive at Kelsey Grammer’s home and after a countless number of air kisses, Camille immediately introduces Allison to the ladies. D.D. mentions the show Medium is about Allison. “Patricia Arquette plays me,” humbly states Allison with a creepy smile. “Oh gosh, I must watch it,” is Lisa’s excellent reply. In her interview, Lisa states that “Camille had two of her friends there. One was her best friend and one was her sidekick, I mean psychic.” The other group of ladies arrive and following the awkward hellos with Kyle and Camille, things seem to be going rather okay.

The ladies head inside and are greeted with cocktails presented in a soup bowl. Allison, who more than likely doesn’t have any living friends, seems overly excited about this girls night out. “And it’s a girls night so we’re not supposed to be good. We’re supposed to be really really bad in a controlled setting,” states Allison as the other ladies start to realize they are having dinner with a looney.

As the chef prepares the dinner meal, the nut job continues to talk about talking to dead people. Adrienne puts it best when she states in her interview, “I guess if you’re talking to dead people, you would be [strange].” The awkward dinner convo continues as Allison states she likes talking to alpha females because they are “intelligent and pretty.” Uh? What?

At this point, things are still going well, that is until Camille decides to take a totally uncalled for and unprovoked dig at Kyle’s friend Faye. Camille pretends she doesn’t know who Faye is and then suddenly realizes she remembers her from her Playboy spread. “She posed naked in Playboy after the OJ trial, that’s her,” says the host to her guests. In her interview, Lisa states she can’t read Camille and wonders if this was a calculated move by her. Oh Lisa, I’m going to go with yes. A very calculated move by the pretender and bad porn actress.

“It’s Faye Resnick, the morally corrupt Faye Resnick,” says the Pot in her interview. The nerve of this woman. The nerve of her, knowing she has also posed in Playboy and even appeared in soft core porn movies. Camille gets called out on the fact that she also posed for Playboy by Kyle but she claims she posed in lingerie. Riiight. By the way, feel free to click the link below to see Camille’s porn past. Warning – it contains nudity. These are graphic photos from Camille’s nude scene in the 1996 The Naked Detective. If only one of the ladies could have brought this up at the dinner.

“Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones,” Kyle states in her interview though I think those who screw in soft core porn movies shouldn’t throw rocks at their fellow Playboy models would have been more appropriate. Camille tries to excuse the hypocrisy by stating she didn’t pose for Playboy right after the murder trial of her friend referring to the fact that Faye and Nicole Simpson were BFFs. And for those wondering, Faye didn’t pose for Playboy until 1997, 3 years after the death of Nicole and a year and a half after the murder trial. While the ladies go back and forth, Bravo keeps panning to Kim, who’s interview commentary might have just been the best part of the episode.

But buckle up folks, as things about about to get ugly-er. Allison decides to spring out her electronic cigarette and ups her creepiness factor by puffing away. How rude to smoke amongst the other ladies – electronic cigarette or not. Lisa proceeds to ask Allison about her conversations with dead people and Allison states her dead friends take a back sit whenever she’s in the company of others. When it comes to doing a reading at the dinner table, Allison declares that she is “off the clock” while puffing away but the ladies do not let up. Faye would like Allison to do one reading and Allison snarks back with a “don’t tempt me.” Camille then warns that it might be best for the ladies not to have a reading done because Allison might bring up some personal information. And as I’m watching this, I’m thinking isn’t that the reason you invited her to the dinner?

“So if somebody’s husband is cheating on them or something, she’ll know it,” warns Camille. Oh Camille. Just priceless.

Kyle once again requests a reading and Allison decides to comply angrily. The cattiness rears its ugly head right away as Allison states that Kyle will have a total of two marriages though anyone with Google could have stated the same. Allison then gets really mean when she declares Kyle and her husband will eventually grow apart and have nothing in common once their kids get older with a rather manic laughter. “He will never emotionally fulfill you,” adds Allison. The ladies all look stunned as Allison continues to spew out crap stating that Kyle talks better to males than females. As I think she just described Camille, Camille utters out “that’s me!” I’m starting to think the electronic cigarette might have been messing with the currents in Allison’s brain, thus giving her Camille’s reading as Kyle’s.

“Girls are very catty with her and insecure,” says Allison of Camille. Oh the irony. And then out of the blue, the New York issue comes up as Kyle states that perhaps that is why they had an issue in NYC. Kyle states she was on the defensive in New York, and Allison corrects her by stating she was “offensive.” Camille then states she didn’t mention her NYC fight with Kyle to Allison and just like I, Faye is not buying it. “She doesn’t rely on me, she can fight her own battles,” says Allison, obviously oblivious to the real reason she is at the dinner party.

Camille then projects by accusing Faye of being there to defend Kyle in her ever annoying baby voice. “Did I think it was a setup? Yes absolutely,” states Camille, absolutely forgetting the fact that she brought her friend who tends to hit below the belt when drunk to the dinner party and then fed her with plenty of alcohol. Camille calls on D.D. to defend her regarding the NYC dinner fight and as I wonder how D.D. could defend her if she wasn’t present at the dinner fight, D.D. tries to explain something but gets cut off by Kyle. In her interview, Camille states that Allison was the only friend there who stood up for her. Here’s to hoping D.D. still has her job following this dinner party.

Things get even uglier as Allison calls Kyle “washed up.” Camille then claims she didn’t bring Allison there to stir up sh*t but rather because she makes good dinner conversation. Riiiight. Faye states that she’s bored of the fighting conversation, and Allison attempts to kick Faye out of the mansion that does not belong to her, informing Faye that she can just leave since she’s got two legs and all.

Allison yells out, “You have achieved nothing in life” to Kyle though I’m sure most people can easily argue Kyle’s little pinky has accomplished way more than Camille ever will. As Kyle defends herself, Allison turns her head away. “Allison was puffing away!” highlariously states Kim in her interview.

As the conversations continue, Camille brings up the airport conversation, you know, the one which Taylor went back and reported to her in NYC, leading to the big showdown between she and Kyle later on that night. Ahh! To think we might have never had this awesome episode had it not been for Taylor’s overly inflated loose lips. Thank you Taylor. We all thank you. Taylor has a guilty conscience and gets defensive with Kim for bringing up her comments, telling Kim she is off her “fuck*ng rocker.” Kim dishes it right back stating, “Why don’t you blow up your lips some more.” Great come back by Kim. Ironically, it is Taylor who seems to fly off her rocker every time Kim attempts to bring up the airport convo aka the truth.

Taylor wants Adrienne to stand up and say enough and Kim and I both wonder why Taylor can’t just do the same. Taylor eventually stands up and yells out “Enough!” Though I must add that I was a bit surprised at how quiet Adrienne was during this dinner. I also thought she would have tried to put an end to things. The ladies get up and the arguing continues.

“I don’t have a problem with you Kyle,” states Camille after Kyle wonders out loud why the two just can’t get along. In her interview, Camille believes “it’s honestly some kind of jealousy there” when it comes to Kyle. Once again, she’s projecting. If there’s any jealousy going on, I will take a gander and say it’s Camille who is jealous of Kyle’s relationship with her husband Mauricio, who can actually stand to be in the same room as his wife.

To see Camille standing there, attempting to play dumb is quite comical. The other ladies eventually leave the horror house.

“I can tell you when she will die and what will happen to her family. I love that about me,” states the medium nut as Camille laughs on. How disgusting and despicable. In her interview, Taylor feels Kim is just trying to pick a fight with her. No Taylor, Kim is simply the only one willing to call you out on your BS and the fact that you did indeed stir things up by telling Camille about the airport conversation.

Outside of Camille’s house, Kyle decides to take her anger out on Kim by accusing her of picking a fight with Taylor. Kim denies this and Kim is actually right. In listening to the dinner convo again, Camille was the one who brought up the airport conversation. Kim then added in her two cents with Taylor flying off the handle.

Back at Camille’s house, Allison continues to call Kyle all kinds of bitches while D.D. looks on. Things then take a creepier turn as Allison, while holding up her electronic cigarette states, “I’m going to shove this up her f*cking ass just to prove a point. Except I’d think she’d need a bigger one than this to even feel it.” Camille simply cannot contain her laughter because a repressed lesbian woman joking about sodomizing another woman is very funny. I mean what the hell? Who are these people? This scene was simply sad and all kinds of disturbing.

In a much needed lighter scene, as the ladies gather outside of Camille’s house to talk about the crazy events that just occurred, we see the sprinklers go off as they suspect Camille might have turned it on.

It’s now back to Camille’s house again and the sh*t talking continues. Allison feels Kyle is a “conspirator,” an “angry bitch” and an “icy bitch.” Camille feels she is a victim as she feels Kyle came into her home and “verbally assaulted” her. Allison makes more insane comments stating that the ladies would be singing a different tune if any of their kids were to go missing. Who says this?

As I start to feel bad for D.D for getting herself into this mess with her boss, she starts to join in on the laughs and even agrees with Camille’s delusions. Camille brings up Allison’s comments about Kyle’s marriage and tries to insinuate Mauricio is not faithful. “He loves more than his nannies,” says the woman who’s husband was off in New York getting his mistress pregnant. “He loves women in general… He really loves women,” she adds. And this is just too easy. Just too easy. There’s really nothing else I can add to that.

Meanwhile, Kim is feeling left out as she is made to ride in a limo by herself while the other ladies ride together in the other limo. Watching this last night made me quite upset at the treatment of Kim but Kyle did state on her appearance on WWHL that there was a good reason for this. Apparently Kim just lives far off from the other ladies and it was more convenient to take separate rides. Will give Kyle a break here as watching the footage again, Kyle does try to explain that Kim should ride separately because she doesn’t want to go to out of her way, and wants to get home quickly. While riding solo, Kim attempts to call Kyle and Kyle ignores her phone calls.

It’s hard to watch the way Kyle treats Kim sometimes but I simply try to imagine having Kim for a sister for over 40 years. I think Kyle is probably just frustrated though it’s still hard to watch the way Kim is treated at times. Example – the way Taylor talks to her. I’m not sure I would ever allow a friend to talk to a sister of mine that way. Some of you think I hate Kyle but that is far from it. In fact, I don’t hate any of the housewives. I do have a strong dislike for four of them though (out of all of Bravo’s franchises that is) and Kyle is far from being one of them. When it comes to these ladies, I try not to love any of them too much or hate any of them. I adore Lisa to pieces and she’s right up there with some of my favorite housewives but the truth is if she did something crazy next week, I would not hesitate to call her out on it.

Back to the dinner from hell. I think this crazy dinner might have topped that of the Real Housewives of NJ no? I think it did. It was simply a lot of crazy just flying around that room. Doing this recap was fun was also the most grueling I’ve ever done as I’ve never had to rewind my TIVO this much. I still believe Camille knew exactly what she was doing by inviting Allison. She brought her there to be her bodyguard and stir things up because she knew her other “friend” D.D. is not the dramatic type. This episode was one giant ball of irony as pretty much every negative thing Camille had to say about Kyle applied to herself. Just surreal. What is clear to me is that Camille definitely started the chain of events by insulting Faye. And from watching tonight’s episode and previous ones, Kyle is not the type of person to not fight back. Can’t wait for the aftermath next week. Who would have guessed the ladies from Beverly Hills would bring this much drama?

Watch What Happens Live – Kyle was a guest on WWHL last night and lo and behold, Camille made certain to call into the show, issuing a fake apology to Kyle for the awful comments she made about her husband. “I am not proud of what I said and I do want to apologize,” said Camille. When asked about Allison, Camille stated that is simply her personality and that “she makes for good TV.” Not sure if I’m buying the apology. Me thinks Camille is simply trying to redeem her public image. When Andy asked Kyle if she believed the apology was sincere, Kyle gives a great reply when she states she would like to believe it is.

TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE RECAP? ON ALLISON? WHO DO YOU BLAME FOR THE DINNER FROM HELL FIASCO? DO YOU THINK CAMILLE’S APOLOGY TO KYLE WAS SINCERE?

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