Last night the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills traveled to France to visit glorious Provence. Of course these women couldn’t just enjoy the sites and each other’s company, and a new Lisa was thrown under the Peugeot wheels!
Here we are at the Chateau Ventoux, which according to Lisa Rinna is “like Downton France Abbey” except in France an Abbey is a nunnery, so LOL. (If I’m wrong here don’t bother correcting me because I like my joke). The rooms are all beautiful. The surroundings are lush. And unlike when PK smothers her with potato chip crumbs and calls it a blanket, Dorit Kemsley feels like a princess. A real live European princess, who any moment will be woken from this nightmare by a prince who doesn’t have financial problems and will carpet their castle in athleisure wear made by Givenchy and Beverly Reach. Life, really will have purpose for this girl from London, Connecticut.
Tonight you can take the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills out of dog crap drama, but you can’t take the drama out of the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills – especially when they’re in France!
What starts out as a lovely vacation in an exclusive French villa, prompting Dorit Kemsley to exclaim that it feels like they’re all in Europe, quickly erupts into mayhem when Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave believes all the world’s – and all the Housewives’ – problems are her bones to pick. Lady get a life and let things go.
Even though she dropped out of filming, Lisa Vanderpump was THE topic of conversation this season on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills thanks to the puppygate saga. Unlike most seasons, the ladies did not wrap up that storyline with any sort of peaceful resolve.
Instead, it dragged on to a point where most of the Housewives are not even on speaking terms with Lisa. Until this day. Months after filming wrapped. She showed up to the Season 9 premiere party and left early before her co-stars arrived. Lisa even had an awkward encounter with Kyle Richards while they were shopping. Needless to say, the anticipation was as high as it could be for an LVP reunion appearance, but did she show up? Did she film a separate segment? How did it all go down?
So, I’m not even sure what to write for you guys. For the first time ever, I might be at a loss for words. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion went down yesterday. This season we have suffered through Dorit Kemsley’s mesh
fetish wardrobe. We have analyzed truth-teller Teddy Mellencamp Arroyave’s texts. We continue to wonder if Harry Hamlin is being held against his will.
And now, we also lost Lisa Vanderpump. After months of speculation and writing #puppygate so many times my spellcheck quit without notice, the biggest riddle since “Who Shot J.R.?” might have been solved. Fans of the show wanted Lisa to have the last word and put
those bitches the ladies in their place. Now Andy Cohen has maybe given us the answer to the question, “Did she or didn’t she?”
Well, here we go. In the final episodes leading up to the end of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 9th season, the drama continues. Thankfully it does not involve any four-legged creatures. Now that Lisa Vanderpump has been removed from our screens, the ladies cannot continue to shove #puppygate down our throats. Thankfully we still have Camille Grammer. Camille seems to have no fear and is perfect for reality television. That means she gives no f*cks.
Camille and Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave have had a bit of a tumultuous relationship. They can never seem to wind up on the same page, despite continued efforts to socialize. Teddi even attended Camille’s wedding to David C. Meyer in Hawaii. It was on that fateful trip that Teddi once again gave Camille a reason to bare her fangs. At the airport, Camille’s daughter Mason Grammer said hello to always accountable Teddi. Then Teddi ALLEGEDLY ignored Mason’s greeting. No one ignores Camille 007’s daughter. Now, Teddi has responded.
It looks like it is the end of the road for Lisa Vanderpump on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The “OG” Housewife had a chaotic season. She was heartbroken and mourning the death of her brother. The tale (pun intended) of Lucy Lucy Apple Juice has been dubbed “puppy gate.” In a nutshell, Dorit Kemsley and her husband PK Kemsley adopted Lucy from Vanderpump Dogs, and then decided to allegedly re-home her. Lucy ended up in a shelter. According to the adoption contract, Lucy should have been returned to Vanderpump Dogs.
A tabloid published a story about the saga, and most of the other Housewives decided that the person who leaked the story had to be LVP. Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave, Lisa Rinna, Erika Jayne and Kyle Richards happily sided with Dorit. Teddi even said she was being used by Lisa to leak the details about Dorit and Lucy. You know Teddi. She likes to be accountable while shoving LVP under the bus.
Last night the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills organized themselves around a new enemy, because that is the point of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills now. It has been for a few seasons! Someone is the target, and the rest of the women shield exposing their real lives by focusing their collective effort on how terribly they’ve all been wronged by this one person for some basically meaningless infraction. It’s tabloids in the suitcase, it’s stories in the tabloids no one reads….
Ever since Kyle Richards realized that the Twisted Sisters Richards would be the undoing of everything she has worked so hard to escape, she has become champion number one of this plan. She will literally hang Kim Richards out to dry by pinstriped suspenders and let Lisa Rinna call her “c–nty” than avoid getting mired down in the type of personal muck that could lift the giant felted wool hats right off to reveal whatever Kyle is hiding.
It will be interesting to see how Camille Grammer fares when faced with this – if it ever comes to pass given that the California Wildfires interceded in the cast trip, and Camille decided against attending the reunion.
Tonight’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills brings something I have been dreading for YEARS – the return of Brandi Glanville. I’ve really been liking Denise Richards this season, but man… Brandi is one difficult-to-swallow cheap wine!
With Lisa Vanderpump out of the picture the women all choose to maintain their alliance by turning on someone they consider an interloper: Camille Grammer. Even though all of them went to her wedding, none of them like her and are now pissed that Camille has apparently been speaking negatively about Dorit Kemsley.