The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: How Not To Behave

After a one week hiatus and several jaw dropping headlines, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills returned last night with an all new episode.

On the 11th episode of the season, we learned that Camille has a fondness for prancing around in her bikinis, flirting with married men, and occasionally kissing them on the lips. Oh wait? What? We already knew that? Allrighty, moving right along then.

The episode begins with a gardening scene involving Lisa, hubby Ken and his twin Giggy. But we quickly discover this scene isn’t about Lisa’s garden but about permanent houseguest Cedric. Ken feels Cedric should move out, or at least help out more around the house. Lisa isn’t fully on the same page as she has some maternal feelings towards Cedric. As the husband and wife end their conversation, Ken tries to grab Lisa and she quickly tells him to cut it out. Ken should know by now that sexy times with Lisa are only reserved for birthdays and religious holidays.

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Next up is Camille, who is once again being the bigger and better person as she decides to get the girls together for a tennis match. Camille invites Adrienne and then calls up Kyle, who is a bit skeptical, but accepts the invite. “I am cautiously optimistic in terms of my relationship with Kyle. I accepted her apology,” states Camille in interview. Kyle apologized after the dinner from hell? Did I miss something? Perhaps this “apology” is another event that albeit happening in Camille’s head, did not happen in real life.

It is the 24th birthday of Lisa‘s daughter Pandora and they all decide to celebrate at Lisa and Ken’s other restaurant Sur. For some odd reason, Pandora is sporting the same mini poof/bump in her hair as the last time we saw her on the show. I’m guessing this is her signature hairstyle, not that it bothers me or anything, nor did it bother me the last time I blogged about it. Dinner continues to go well and Pandora’s boyfriend Jason decides to take a stand and profess his love for Pandora. “Pandora, there’s nobody in the world that I’d rather live with. I love every second of it and I’d love to spend the rest of my life with you,” states Jason as I get excited and wait for him to spring out a ring and drop down on one knee.

But no, Jason doesn’t propose and instead just kisses Pandora. It turns out it was all a big joke that Jason apparently likes to play on Pandora and her parents. Pranking your girlfriend of 4 years and her parents by pretending you’re going to propose? Always hilarious. Good one Jason! In the mean time, I’ll just go ahead and ignore the brief look of hope on Pandora’s face as she probably thought her douchy boyfriend was actually going to propose this time.

Seemingly out of the blue, Kyle decides to ask Cedric about his childhood, something he had promised to tell her about. While I try to decide if this is the right time or place for such a conversation, Cedric begins to open up about his tragic childhood which includes growing up homeless in Paris with a prostitute for a mom. His mom eventually abandoned him on the streets leading to Cedric living in foster care. Cedric reveals he eventually met Lisa and Ken, who took him in 15 years ago and changed his life for the better. Must say hearing this back story puts a better perspective on why Lisa and Ken allow Cedric to be a permanent houseguest. For some reason, I was under the impression Cedric was just a former employee who they took in. The scene is even sadder as it has been reported Cedric and Lisa are no longer on speaking terms.

It is now time for an awkward breakfast scene between Taylor and her husband Russell. Taylor reveals things have been tense between she and her husband lately. When is it not tense between them? “The business side of our relationship has just seemed to take over,” states Taylor in her interview. Taylor feels the two just need to take some time out to have some fun together, but as we will see later on in the episode, a fun time out doesn’t even begin to mend things between them.

It’s the day of the tennis match and it’s a compliment-fest between Camille and Kyle. “You look gorgeous… you look great,” states Camille to Kyle. Adrienne arrives with her husband and so does Camille’s married friend and tennis instructor Nick, who shows up with some strange wig on. Camille kisses him on the lips as his wife looks on, not looking too pleased by the way.

Kyle gives a great quote regarding the shenanigans. “I’m not really sure what Nick’s thing with the wig was, maybe they were role playing? I don’t really know. But the whole kissing someone else’s husband on the lips is just bizarre. I can tell you that if Camille were to kiss my husband on the lips, she wouldn’t have any lips left,” states Kyle. Great great quote. And how many times does Camille hug Mauricio in this episode by the way? I think I lost count. Camille definitely has a penchant for flirting or being touchy-feely with married men.

The tennis match ends and we see everyone eating lunch together. Adrienne’s husband Paul is once again shown with a bandage on his nose. Adrienne states it’s the result of another headbutt from one of their sons though me thinks the first nose job simply did not take. The polite convo continues and the NYC trip is once again brought up. Cue up the horror music. Oh no! Please let’s not rehash this again. At this point, I simply can’t take another argument about NYC. Luckily for my sanity, the conversation goes smoothly and all is well in Beverly Hills. Whew!

Following lunch, everyone heads out to the pool and we quickly discover it takes two nannies to take Camille’s two kids swimming. Before I can even blink, Camille is already in her bikini swimming away. “Yes the women did not want to bring their bathing suits. It could be just female jealousy. They’ll get over it,” states Camille, who still has the same body as she did 15 years ago in her soft porn movies. All thanks to the surrogates who helped carry and deliver her two children due to her tragic case of IBS. Kyle jumps into the pool with her clothes on, followed by Paul pushing Adrienne and Kyle into the pool and all ends well.

Though at this point, I’m a bit confused. This is all taking place just 1 – 2 weeks after Camille fired Mauricio via a ridiculous text message for Kyle’s supposed bad behavior. So if Kyle’s behavior was that awful and vile enough to warrant you firing her husband, why invite her out to a tennis match? It’s becoming more obvious that Camille sent the firing text message simply to get Kyle to go easier on her, and also to get Kyle and Mauricio to start kissing up to her. Seems to be working like a charm. Kyle stated earlier in the episode that she is not sure where her husband stands regarding his realtor job with the Grammers. Interesting. I have heard conflicting stories about the current status of Mauricio and the Grammers. I’m guessing this will all be cleared up during the reunion show.

It’s the day of Kyle‘s white party and she stresses out while touching up on last minute details. Kyle reveals the party this year is “extra special” because it is also the 40th birthday party of the hotness known as Mauricio. The guests begin to arrive including Kyle’s rarely shown 21-year-old daughter Farrah, who is from Kyle’s first marriage. Kim arrives and Kyle doesn’t put her down actually compliments her. Lisa arrives and informs Kim that Martin, her blind date from a few episodes ago, will be attending as well. In her interview, Kim reveals she had a fun time with Martin but he never called her.

In a funny scene, Cedric is seen eating a double cheese burger as Lisa wants to know if Taylor would be able to take a full bite out of the burger. Taylor tries and succeeds. When you really think about it, Taylor doesn’t have big lips but rather a big mouth. She has a really wide mouth but her lips look pretty normal for the most part. So um yep, there goes my deep thought of the day.

Moving right along. Martin finally arrives to the party and is greeted by everyone including Kim. Martin attempts to make small talk with Kim and even offers to get her a drink. Kim declines and seems to kinda brush him off. Well played Kimberly. Well played.

And finally, Camille arrives doing the annoying bouncy mean girl walk that she always does. Camille goes to greet Lisa who congratulates her on Kelsey’s Tony nomination. “Thank you, thank you,” replies Camille before going on to tell Lisa that she and Kelsey no longer talk as much since his move to NYC.

Camille then goes on to find Kyle to give her some gifts. Upon finding Kyle, Camille immediately hands her a “gift” which is a book titled ‘How to Behave.’ Though giving someone such a book in their own home could easily constitute how not to behave. Lisa has a great take on this when she states, “The book was called how to behave but I think Camille should read it first.” Kyle isn’t quite sure on how to take the “gift” while Camille reveals in her interview that “it was just a joke.”

Kyle goes on to present a surprise to Mauricio as she has someone sing while they both dance. Taylor looks on and reveals in her interview that she wishes she had what Kyle and Mauricio have together. This is about the third time this season that Taylor has mentioned wanting a marriage like Kyle and Mauricio’s. While I understand where Taylor is coming from, I do think she needs to know that all that glitters is not gold. Yes Kyle and Mauricio appear to have a perfect marriage but as we all know, nothing is perfect. While I do hope their marriage is as great and genuine as it appears to be, the truth is no one knows what really goes on behind the scenes. Call me jaded but I know too many “perfect marriages” that are nothing but a big ol facade once you get behind closed doors. My point is Taylor shouldn’t be so envious of Kyle’s marriage or any marriage for that matter, but instead work on making hers better.

Camille decides to make an early exit as she claims in her interview that she was feeling under the weather. I have to remind myself once again, this is a party being thrown by someone whom you just recently fired her husband due to her bad behavior. While the rest of the party guests have a great time, Russell just kind of sits off on his own. “I wish I could find a way to bring him over from the dark side to the fun side,” says Taylor. And I have to wonder whether or not Russell was this exact way before Taylor decided to marry him. I’m guessing yes.

While the party continues, Russell tells Taylor it’s time to go and unlike the time in Vegas, Taylor declines to leave and decides to stay. Very nice to see Taylor standing her ground by deciding to stay. Russell leaves and Taylor reveals she feels “alone” without her husband there. “I feel like I have this life that I want to celebrate. I just wish he would celebrate with me,” says a tearful Taylor in her interview.

The episode ends and next week looks to be way more interesting. With only two episodes left this season, we will finally get see to see the widely talked about break-up between Camille and Kelsey.

Watch What Happens Live – The show returned last night with its season 4 premiere and Bethenny Frankel was the guest with a surprise appearance from Kyle Richards. An okay episode overall. I was expecting a funnier episode but Andy seemed to cut Bethenny off most of the night while Bethenny’s jokes just seemed to run on a bit too long. Still a funny episode overall. It was nice to see Kyle as the surprise guest, and even nicer to see the two housewives saying very nice things to one another.

TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE RECAP AND LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE?

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