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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Kyle Richards Crying

There is a curious thing happening on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills – The gaslighting of Kyle Richards. Also what is up with Teddi Mellencamp? Did fear of Lisa Rinna get her tongue?

First though I cannot even stop laughing at the ridiculousness of Dorit Kemsley with her Buca di Beppo dining room remodel and Dorit behaving as if she was asked to re-do Buckingham Palace.

It’s the best karma ever delivered to see Dorit and PeeeeKaaaay coming across like the grifting fools they are; all wide-eye and shining, believing Dorit is going to leverage a strip-mall dining room remodel into a career as the new Nick Alain. Of course they mentioned that Lisa Vanderpump would be threatened by them infringing on her territory by entering the restaurant business. Robert Earl, the owner of this erstwhile chain of phony Italian restaurants with their inflated prices and pretend ‘old country’ memorabilia, snarks that he’s sure the Vanderpump-Todds will wish them well.

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Denise Richards

Whew, you guys so much to discuss from last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills but unequivocally my favorite thing ever in this whole world is Denise Richards “I’d like to talk to the manager…” face. Denise may be laid back and getting laid on the daily, but we saw what happens when you try to come for her.

If Kyle Richards believes bringing on Brandi Glanville to destroy Denise’s life (which is just SO GROSS on premise) will work, she’s wrong. I’m totally Team Fucking Denise Richards, and I think most viewers are too.

Also Kyle’s hair this season is just straight up karma! She looks like a matronly old bat from the 80’s attempting sex appeal. Whomever talked her into these messy topknots with teased bangs might be my hero. Reveal yourself – you deserve our praise!

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Kyle Richards

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Teddi Mellencamp hosted an All In retreat which no one wanted to go to at all, so they went all in on Kyle Richards instead.

Despite being invited, told it didn’t matter if she attended, and then ultimately being uninvited there is Sutton Stracke, riding in a car with Kyle and Erika Jayne to Teddi’s retreat.

Sutton, displaying her good southern manners, listens to Kyle prattle on about how busy she is. Being Kyle is an exhausting, nonstop, all-consuming, ever-involved endeavor of Kyle-ness. Like Kaftans Through the kloset karosel, these are the days of Kyle’s life. Sutton is actually only half-paying attention because she’s consumed with her own worries about dealing with Teddi. Even though Sutton apologized and received a reluctant OK to attend the retreat she’s still nervous about what to expect. 

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Teddi Mellencamp

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Kyle Richards decided to throw a party to celebrate the many months she’s spent away on a movie set, far from her family and friends, even though she was coming home every weekend in between. Anyway this party was a disaster. Aren’t they all!

Everyone is still trying to make a storyline out of Teddi Mellencamps weird All In retreat. Did Teddi invite them, did she not? Does she want them there? Does she not? Does anyone actually care? No of course not!

The problem remains on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills that everyone is always trying to control the storylines and the narrative. Now it’s all about whether or not Teddi actually expects them to attend a 2 day exercise class where she preaches the exalted power of self-sacrifice through starvation. Teddi really isn’t interesting enough to be a cult leader – even in Southern California to emaciated hippies calling it wellness.

The whole situation has Sutton Stracke confused and Lisa Rinna salivating.

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Erika Jayne

Everyone on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is trying waywayway too hard to make things interesting after last season. They are working hard for that money, but they need a salary reduction anyway. They’re still lying and boring!

It’s apparent that production demanded Dorit Kemsley discuss her financial woes. Dorit is still not being honest. It’s also apparent that they put the smackdown on Erika Jayne Snore-ardi and told her to show more range than one of Aaron Phyper‘s weird oxygenic bioderminator ozzzzzcilation machines. Sutton Stracke is so much more interesting! And they hate her for it.

The other problem is the constant strategic alliances. These women are coming for the weakest links: pregnant Teddi Mellencamp and ill, clueless Denise Richards. They probably figured Denise has been through it all dealing with Charlie Sheen so what’s the difference.

Kyle Richards Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

It’s a new dawn on Real Housewives Of Beverly HillsKyle Richards kaftans became legit, debuting at NY Fashion Week. Erika Jayne is trying a new way to take heat off her life – being friends with the women. Lisa Rinna is still lecturing everyone about owning it, while not owning that she is overjoyed to be No 1 Lisa. Also, we met new cast members Garcelle Beauvais and Sutton Stracke. So far I love them both!

All the ladies are in NYC for Kyle’s fashion show. One day before Kyle hasn’t even seen most of the collection she so-called designed. She calls Dorit Kemsley in a blind panic because she has no idea what do to prepare for a runway show. Like how to present the collection cohesively? How does one figure out who wears what? Dorit is appalled that Kyle has a line that she basically slapped her name on. Um, isn’t that what Dorit just finished Beverly Beach mediation over?

Camille Grammer Lisa Rinna Erika Jayne Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Reunion

Oh friends, we have finally, finally said farewell to this interminable season of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. And wow can I just say this show is in peril and I don’t like a single one of them! Part 3 of the reunion was largely a waste of time, so I’m going to spend this recap discussing the RHOBH in general.

There’s not much that can be said about this group except that the lack of awareness and (here comes Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave‘s favorite word!) accountability is astounding. Camille Grammer had it right when she hissed, “Hypocrisy at its finest!

As the woman all all sat up there railing against Lisa Vanderpump for being manipulative and shielding parts of her life from the cameras, not a single one of them admitted to doing the same thing. So when Kyle Richards decided not to confront Dorit Kemsley about what really happened with Lucy, or confront Teddi about the inconsistencies in her stories and involvement, and instead completely deflected everything onto Lisa? Kyle wasn’t ‘manipulating’? 

Camille Grammer Real Housewives OF Beverly Hills

We have finally reached the end of the road with season 9 of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. The reunion concludes with part 3 tonight, and I still find it hilarious that, Camille Grammer, the person who caused the most drama this season isn’t even an official Housewife. What does that say about the status of this show with this cast? (FAIL)

Part 2 of the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion left off with Camille storming off the stage after accusing the women of a set-up. Following a pep talk from Andy Cohen an emotional Camille returns to the stage to confront her issues with Denise Richards. Denise lectures Camille for not thinking before she speaks and causing damage to her relationships with being thoughtless.