This week’s Celebrity Apprentice had the perfect name, Failure To Launch. At the end of the episode, it didn’t feel like anyone did a particularly good job, with everyone skating by and leaning on their alliances.

The task this week: create a 10 minute presentation on the new Buick Verrano and answer a 10 minute Q & A. Donald tells everyone the task, while standing at Grand Army Plaza, with all his rich friends looking down on him from their high-rises. He says some of them are great people, and others are scum. And which one would you be, Donald? That’s a question for the ages.

It’s obvious that Michael Andretti, the race car driver from a legendary racing family, should be the project manager, but for reasons beyond human understanding, Adam Carolla is chosen as project manager. On the women’s side, Debbie Gibson takes the lead since she has experience performing. I didn’t hear them say the presentation would be at a mall, but okay.


Immediately, Aubrey O’Day takes the lead on brainstorming, like she’s been doing with every other challenge, with different human interest pieces on the car. The buttoned-up Buick executives come by to visit both teams, and it’s immediately clear that they take their jobs very seriously and will not put up with Adam Carolla joking about former Buick spokesperson and famous manwhore, Tiger Woods. The other men start to realize that Adam is not the best man for the job.

The women’s team have begun to split into two groups and when they go to test drive the car, Debbie pulls a mean girl move and takes her pets–Aubrey, Lisa Lampanelli, and Patricia Velazquez–in her van (which Aubrey dubs the “cool van”) and leaves Teresa Giudice, Dayana Mendoza and Tia Carerre in the “un-cool van” to talk about Teresa’s need for an Advil. When Tia tries to talk to Debbie about their ideas on speakerphone, she’s shot down and told to wait until Debbie discusses things with Lisa.

The men–despite the fact that it’s clear the Buick folks didn’t want a “beer commercial”–decide to do a comedy sketch because that’s what Adam wants. He’ll do the presentation with Michael (the first smart move they made) and then do a Q & A where the men will heckle Adam on stage. Continuing on his whiny streak from the last episode, Lou continues to annoy everyone, and his only suggestion is to rip his shirt off, since “everyone” knows the Hulk. He keeps complaining there’s no place for him, but he doesn’t create one for himself.

Unsurprisingly, a group of female celebrities decide to make their concept “Reflection.” Teresa is overjoyed because she’s asked to bring her husband, Joe Giudice and her daughters, and talking heads that she loves to be the center of attention. Ya don’t say, Teresa! Aubrey gets snarky during rehearsals, but it’s hard not to be when Debbie Gibson decided to turn the sketch into an opportunity to talk about her music career. Aubrey says she was more of a Tiffany girl, but I have to wonder is Aubrey old enough to remember their teen bubblegum pop feud?

Both presentations go up and get smiles from the Buick executives. The biggest blunder was Aubrey messing up the car’s name and calling it “Verona” during her emotionally manipulative (and fake?) car accident story. The Giudices showed up and played their part and Tia looked ridiculous as host. The men’s only moment of weakness came when Paul Teutul yelled out his controversial line “You suck!” to what looked like a silent audience.

In the boardroom, things became tense between Teresa, Tia, and Debbie. Donald and Ivanka call out Teresa for not being like her RHONJ persona, and Debbie accused her of not “owning it.” Teresa was super annoyed and you could tell that angry side was starting to slowly edge out. I think it’ll take two more challenges before they get the “real” Teresa. Tia, rightfully called Debbie out for excluding her and Teresa and called the others the “dream team.”

For the men, it was clear that the only men in danger of being fired were Adam, Lou and Michael. Everyone else did a good job, and Arsenio’s comments that Andretti was underused really stuck with Donald. Adam ended up refusing to suggest two names to bring back to the firing squad, forcing Donald to fire two people. While the men were all in questioning, they all (without saying as much) rallied to get Lou fired, since he contributes nothing.

However, and I strongly disagreed with this move, Donald ended up firing Michael for not taking on a task that was so suited for his ability, and Adam for failing as project manager. While, I agree with the choice to fire Michael, getting rid of a smart person like Adam so early in the game seems wrong.

But, it does leave us with having to watch Lou project manage next week, which should be a train wreck.


Click here to read our Comment Policy