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On last night’s episode of Bethenny Ever After, Jason and Bethenny experienced therapy at sea and got lost among the waves. Luckily, their marriage survived intact!

First of all, let me say that the concept of sailing into your future is horrible and cliché. Yuck. Bethenny and Jason pick up where they left off last week, with Jason storming off the heliport. Bethenny just wanted an apology, but for some reason was unable to bring this up at home, before leaving, before the cameras were rolling. Hmmm… I wonder why?

Jason eventually agrees to get on the helicopter and go on the trip. Bethenny apparently spends the ride crying about her life, and when they meet up with Veronica–Bethenny’s “glammy”–in Nantucket to drop off Bryn, Bethenny fills her in on what happened. Question: Doesn’t Bethenny have a full-time nanny? Why is her hairdresser babysitting for the weekend? Why is Bryn always being watched by a zillion different Bethenny sycophants?

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Bethenny feels she has been set up to be the villain in her relationship and therefore, it’s impossible to feel good about herself because she’s always expected to be the bad guy. Except she set that expectation up for herself and willingly exploited that on multiple seasons of reality television. She wasn’t complaining when it garnered her legions of fans and some extremely lucrative business opportunities. Maybe Bethenny is realizing her marriage is more important than television.

Bethenny and Jason meet Dr. Amador on the boat. You could cut the tension with a knife. Chad and Luz, the other couple in crisis join them. Where are Chad and Luz in response to this whole lost at sea nonsense? No media statements from them?

It immediately becomes clear that neither husband wants to be on this boat and they are bonding over their disinterest. Jason would rather be seasick than analyzed and henpecked by Bethenny and Dr. Amador. Lucky for him, he gets to experience all three together! Woooo for boating! So eight hours on a boat is supposed to save your marriage? Wow – that’s a pretty sweet deal!

Bethenny is whining, nagging, and throwing jabs three seconds into the trip over being expected to untie the ropes from the dock and work together with Jason. Apparently, she still hasn’t gotten that apology, but it is Jason who should be cutting her slack. #pathetic.

I noticed Luz wasn’t acting like a petulant child. Maybe because she isn’t interested in denigrating her marriage on television for attention! Jason is driving the boat, with support from Dr. Amador, and Bethenny is watching for buoys.

Jason teases first mate Bethenny, who is stationed up front watching for obstacles, about relaxing with a Skinnygirl Margarita – which, frankly I’m surprised she isn’t pimping some Skinnygirl somewhere. Dr. Amador warns Jason about pushing Bethenny’s buttons to get a rise.

Dr. Amador goes downstairs to check the then working GPS and the couples talk amongst themselves. Jason jokes that he thinks they are going in circles and that is a perfect metaphor for their relationship – they have the same fight over and over again. When Dr. Amador returns everyone is laughing and teasing; he swears they are going in a straight line and there is not hidden metaphor.

After Jason sweetly admits he wants to be married to Bethenny forever, the Frankel-Hoppys are assigned dinner duty while the other couple mans the boat. Jason is supposed to cook with Bethenny’s help because he never cooks or something, which is probably because she is allegedly a chef! Jason gets seasick once down below and has to go outside. Bethenny is annoyed and mutters that she’s not surprised. Right – and that’s totally keeping in the spirit of teamwork.

Jason lies down while the other couple and Bethenny eat and have a therapy session. Bethenny interrupts everyone and every single segue becomes about her. Maybe because it’s her show and it was editing or maybe because Bethenny is Bethenny.

Jason and Bethenny get to do their couples therapy in bed with Jason lying down trying not to vomit on himself. This is a joke. Like that horrible joke where you add “… in bed” to the end of every statement. Jason claims he doesn’t want Bethenny to change, even though she believes he wants her to be someone she isn’t and she is unhappy trying to mold herself into that person. Maybe she wants to be someone she isn’t and is projecting that onto Jason. Jason just wants her to care about him and his priorities, like, at all.

They talk about how Jason calls her “damaged.” Dr. Amador gives Bethenny some suggestions for reframing the discussion if those comments emerge and Bethenny doesn’t seem to be hearing it. I agree with Dr. Amador, Bethenny needs to stop using her dysfunctional childhood as a crutch and move past it. She should embrace the new family she has formed for herself.

Jason makes a lot of good points about Bethenny putting up walls and refusing to accept his parents and Dr. Amador reminds her that everyone has baggage. What no one wants to say is that Bethenny’s baggage defines her because she has built a career and a reputation (not to mention a following) over having baggage and being the real-life Carrie Bradshaw. She has made that her identity on purpose!

Jason is perplexed about how Bethenny can still be unsure about their relationship and still be “letting him in” when they are married and have a baby. The bottom line is they married each other because she was pregnant and both wanted to get married–and they didn’t know each other at all–which Bethenny has said countless times. Hopefully, they can get to know each other and build a life. I hate to say it but Dr. Amador made some really good observations.

Bad weather has delayed the arrival time and after ten hours, they still haven’t made it to Nantucket. Are we sure it wasn’t Bravo that delayed the arrival time? Bethenny and Jason are coincidentally on for the second shift when Dr. Amador discovers–horrors of horrors–the GPS is broken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bethenny hears the words “Coast Guard” over the radio and immediately resorts to assuming the worst. Thank god they left Bryn with the hair dresser! Apparently the electronics are malfunctioning and due to shallow water, Dr. Amador has rerouted the trip. He has called the Coast Guard with their coordinates and they are supposedly locating someone to help escort the boat to Nantucket since the GPS is not working. Um… right.

Bethenny starts flopping around–and she is the only one looking unstable (in more ways than one)–cause something is going on!! Jason and Dr. Amador look completely nonplussed. Despite Dr. Amador’s announcement that this has never happen in thirty years of sailing. Well, at least he’s calm under pressure. Jason on the other hand is like, ‘who cares, let’s go to sleep.’

I’m sorry – none of this seemed genuine. And did Dr. Amador tell Chad and Luz about the change of plans, the massive waves, the shallow water, the non-working GPS, and the Coast Guard intervention – or didn’t they matter? Where are they when all of this is going on? Just peacefully asleep in the midst of a huge melodrama? They’re probably just actors.

The best part of the entire episode was Dr. Amador walking in on Bethenny in the bathroom! So funny! And I have to say, this would only happen to her. Mostly because who goes on an overnight boating trip with their shrink and a camera crew? Oh, famewhores.

Dr. Amador finally manages to convince a commercial tow boat company to come and meet them after sixteen hours at sea. The next morning, after twenty hours, Bethenny wakes up and Dr. Amador announces a tow boat is coming in two to three hours. Again. There’s a lot of a couple more hours happening. Seriously – c’mon. He’s been sailing for how many years – he is that reliant upon a GPS? And we’re supposed to believe this?!

One half of the mystery other couple emerges looking well-rested, calm, perfectly put together, and accessorized. Almost as if she wasn’t sleeping on the boat all night while everyone else freaked out over a GPS. Bethenny fills Jason in on the latest and he finally loses it. Jason is fed up with being on this boat with Bethenny’s whining and is majorly regretting allowing himself to be talked into this nightmare of a reality television marriage.

They finally see the guide boat and Jason mentions they need to thank him for leading them back to shore. Bethenny promises to have sex with him as an expression of gratitude. I’m not sure that’s the kind of thanks anyone wants from her! Upon reaching land 22 hours later, Bethenny makes a big show of kissing the dock. Dr. Amador is impressed none of the couples argued in the face of a harrowing situation.

Bethenny and Jason find Bryn and both are so grateful to see her again. There were some very sweet scenes of them parenting and cuddling Bryn. Bethenny’s one redeeming benefit is that she adores her daughter and truly gives her heart to her. Bethenny and Jason are able to gain a lot of perspective from the fiasco at sea, and recognize that they love each other and need to have more patience and respect in their relationship – but not before arguing about each other’s poops. UGH. Why so much TMI?

Jason tells Bethenny how happy he is to have her in his life and how much she means to him. I do believe these two care for each other and love each other, so hopefully they can get the Eff off television and make this marriage work!

Next Week: Jason and Bethenny are in a better place, but drama with Bethenny’s mother emerges!

THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE? DO YOU BELIEVE LOST AT SEA GATE HAPPENED? WILL BETHENNY AND JASON’S RELATIONSHIP LAST?

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