Bethenny Ever After Recap: Hola Hostilities!

On last night’s Bethenny Ever After, Mexico says bienvenido to Bethenny Frankel and Co.!  Watch out Cabo San Lucas, Hurricane Bethenny is rolling into town to celebrate her birthday.  The group is greeted with coconut popsicles, and I have never seen someone so obsessed with how her child holds a flipping frozen treat…seriously, just let the kid eat the popsicle!  She and Jason Hoppy are led to their villa, and it’s a true paradise.  Jason is hoping that the couple can leave their bickering and pettiness back in the States.

At dinner, Bethenny congratulates Jason on making it through a day without ripping each others’ heads off.  She accuses him of not trusting her and not liking her, regardless of how much he loves her.  They are both saying the same thing, but yet when Jason says it, Bethenny seems very guarded.  Bless him.  Let it drop, lady!  Or don’t let it drop…that may be a better conversation than what Bethenny broaches next.  She wants to ask Veronica to be Bryn’s guardian in the event she and Jason die.  Bethenny explains to Jason that his parents are getting up there in in age, so clearly Veronica is the perfect choice.  Her near-death experience in Nantucket only solidifies this fact.

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Next, they decide to chat about Julie PlakeBethenny gets slightly upset about her assistant’s “catch you later!” but she understands that Julie made the best decision for herself.   The conversation becomes what Bethenny calls a “back and forth.”  However, to me it looks like a domineering power play of who can dish it AND take it.  Hint…it’s neither of them, although they are both pretty stellar at the dishing part.

The family is lounging in their pool and perusing saris from a distance.  Bethenny is appalled to learn the wandering salesman wants to sell them for sixty bucks a piece.  Is he out of his Mexican mind?  Did she really just say that?  Bethenny loves the haggle, and Jason enjoys watching his frugal wife do business with the ballsy beach merchant.  In the end, Bethenny snags three for one hundred dollars.  That, dear Bethenny, is what one would describe as a “back and forth.”

Julie, Maggie, and Jackie arrive to celebrate, and Jackie is wearing a tank which says “I heart my BF.”  Jason jokingly informs her that she got the job so she can stop kissing up to his wife.  Bryn has her Spanish down pat, and it’s flipping adorbs.  She makes a new friend in Houston, a fellow tow-headed toddler on the beach.

Veronica arrives to go to lunch, and the couple is arguing again about trust issues.  A tense Jason decides to stay at the villa with Bryn and forgo lunch.  Bethenny passes her phone to Veronica, stating that it doesn’t work here…nothing works here.  Veronica thinks that arguments are normal in relationships.  Bethenny reveals some of the nasty things they say to one another.  It’s some hitting below the belt stuff.  Bethenny is again in tears because she is so unhappy.  She thought Jason would be able to take care of her emotionally.  In my experience, no one can take care of you emotionally until you can take care of yourself—probably explains a lot about my social life!  🙂

Veronica tries to tread lightly by telling Bethenny that she thinks it’s probably hard for Jason to be with someone so successful.  She blames herself for ruining him.  Veronica doesn’t think their bickering is that abnormal.  Bethenny calls to invite him to lunch.  He accuses of her being manipulative, she gets defensive, he hangs up on her.  Happy vacay!

The waiter comes by to tell Bethenny that Jason is waiting for her by the pool.  Neither is willing to give up their footing in the fight even though they both keep reiterating that they want things to be positive.  Veronica takes Bryn to the kiddie pool, so they can continue talking in circles.  They are now arguing about how much they despise arguing.  They agree to wipe the slate clean, but Bethenny gets offended when Jason asks her about her salad.  Is this what their conversation has been reduced to now?  He changes his tune to talk about how sexy his wife is only to be berated for making her look older due to stress.  Great clean slate!

They decide to do a couple’s massage, and things start out on the wrong foot when Jason isn’t allowed to poo in the spa bathroom.  As he’s massaging Bethenny’s back, she blames all the tension in her muscles on their fights.  Finally, the bitterness starts to melt away, and Bethenny is motor boating an excited Jason.  True love.  I just feel so badly for that poor masseuse!

Jason and Bethenny decide to try their luck at paddle boarding, but the water is a bit rough.  Before taking yet another spill into the ocean, Bethenny equates her life to rough waters.  Ooh deep…just like the ocean.  See, she’s not the only one who can opine.

The pair seems to be getting along much better, but Bethenny feels sad because she is thinking of her mother, as the two share a birthday.  Bethenny worries that one day Bryn will feel about her the way she feels about her mother.  Self-sabotage much?  Jason consoles his wife.  Later that evening, the family relaxes by the pool.  Jason and Bryn give Bethenny her cards, as she keeps proclaiming over and over that this is her best birthday ever.  She seems to sincerely love the necklace Jason has chosen for her.

The entire crew heads down for a beautiful birthday dinner on the beach.  Photo time all around!  Bethenny toasts her team, welcoming Maggie and bidding farewell to Julie.  The girls have had a book created which highlights all of Bethenny’s milestones.  She is sobbing reading their heartfelt sentiments.  Why the heck am I getting teary?  It’s a sweet, genuine moment in Bethenny-ville.  The evening is rounded out with a mariachi band, a cake, a giant sombrero, and a group hug for everyone’s favorito skinny senora.

Next week, is there trouble again in paradise?  Jason has another surprise in store, and Bethenny asks Veronica the million dollar question.  Jason applauds Julie’s decision, and he and Bethenny discuss their animosities.

THOUGHTS ON LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE?  IS THEIR MARRIAGE DOOMED IF THEY CAN’T DROP THEIR ISSUES?  COMMENTS ON THE BIRTHDAY FIESTA?

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