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Hollywood Exes follows the lives of five beautiful and talented women who once lived the high life, married to elite stars. Now, such a pity, they have to drive themselves and work to pay their mortgages. Surprisingly, the women are all down to earth and likable. For now. Only time will tell if they turn this nice refreshing show into a catty nightmare. Refreshing is nice, but I’m finding the show somewhat boring.  Hopefully the story line finds a nice middle ground.

It’s official.  Jessica Canseco is planning on moving her ex, Jose Canseco, back into her house.  Because it worked so well for her the first time.  And, in the many years since, he’s proven himself a changed man.  Jessica is a hopeless romantic, idiot, all of the above…

She has very high expectations for this arrangement.  Jessica plans on making Jose clean, cook, drive, and parent Josie.  Basically, Jessica wants Jose to make up for the seven years he’s been MIA.  Oh, Jessica.  She’s delusional if she thinks Jose is looking for anything but a free ride and some action on the side.  Even Jessica’s friends see Jose for what he is, a freeloading creep. Nicole Murphy thinks Jessica would be better off hiring help. Nicole is a wise woman.

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Sheree Fletcher is looking to launch a body cream she developed, which she calls Whoop Ash.    This latest batch does not meet her standards.  Sheree admits she’s lacking patience and her chemist seems to be lacking enthusiasm for her Whoop Ash. Not a good combination.

Mayte Garcia met with a horrifying matchmaker last week.  If this so-called matchmaker had come into my house with her passive aggressive bitchiness, I would have kicked her out before she even got the point of dissing the color of my cleaning products.  And, seriously, most men need a treasure map to find cleaning products anyway.

Mayte wisely decides to get a second opinion.  Once again, Nicole is the voice of reason.  Mayte should not need a matchmaker, she thinks.  Nicole’s opinion is that Mayte simply needs to spend less time with her dogs, cats, and birds and more time out in public.  Nicole says she’ll fix her up.  Mayte tells her to hurry  up because she wants a baby… like yesterday.

Andrea Kelly has big plans to open her own dance studio in LA.  Andrea joins Mayte for her ballet lesson.  Andrea had a studio in Chicago, so she knows what she has to do to make this work.  But, since she’s new to the area, she needs to find a place to get her foot in the door.  Mayte suggests a studio called Millennium.  Andrea is a firecracker!  I have no doubts she will be successful.  The only question is how many emotional breakdowns will we need to endure before she gets there.

Sheree‘s husband currently lives in San Diego.  It’s a long drive every weekend to spend time together, but Sheree is not willing to uproot her life in LA to move permanently.  Terrell pressures Sheree to move.  God clearly wants Sheree to be in her husband’s home, he says.  Sheree needs to open a can of Whoop Ash on Terrell and tell him to own his own opinions and stop hiding behind his God.  Obviously, they disagree over God’s plan for her whereabouts, and they’re each praying for what’s they each believe is best.

Nicole designs a jewelry line with her friend Yolanda.  She drives the streets of LA looking for “Dude.”  Dude sells jewels out of his van.  Miraculously, they find him.  Not knowing where they were going to find said Dude, Nicole and Yolanda bring along “Big Sexy” for protection.  Nicole gets her jewels and then gets the hell out of there before she gets shot or robbed.  I cannot wait to see what she does with Dude’s jewels.

Mayte talks about the heartache over her losing her son with Sheree while they’re hiking.  Going through the grieving process was hard for Mayte because she is in the public eye.

Nicole and Jessica meet at a restaurant, where they start doing shots.  Tequila makes Jessica over share again.  Jessica gets on top of Nicole to show her what position she needs to be in to have  an orgasm.  Nicole is mortified.

Earlier, Tony and Andrea made a plan of attack to get her into Millennium. Andrea and Tony meet with Robert, the owner of Millennium.  Tony wants to work closely with Robert so he’s in the loop.  An out of the loop Tony makes for a grumpy Tony.  Robert is willing to work with Andrea – and Tony.  Andrea cries.  Andrea cries when she’s happy and when she’s sad.

Jessica visits a therapist to discuss the Jose living situation.  The biggest issue between Jessica and Jose is his cheating.  Jessica wonders if she still loves Jose. Also, if she’s subconsciously hoping for a second chance by allowing him to move in with her and Josie.  I’m already tired of the Jose moving in story line. I’d like to learn more about Jessica beyond the state of her vagina and her ex Jose.  Jessica will definitely be the first one to bring some real drama to this show.

Nicole is hosting a jewelry show.  She looks absolutely stunning!  Sheree, Jessica, Andrea, and Mayte show up to support their friend.  They’re impressed with Nicole’s work.  Beautiful, body to kill for after five kids, talented designer… I want to hate her but she’s so sweet and down to earth.

Andrea is stressing over all of the unknowns and changes in her life.  She is afraid of failure.  Andrea wants to make a life for herself as Andrea, the dancer, and not Andrea, R. Kelly’s ex wife.  Mayte has had much more time since her divorce to heal, but she can empathize with Andrea.  Their friendship grows stronger with each episode.

Jessica meets Mayte and Sheree for lunch.  Jose got a job in Boston. Now that he has something going on, his proposal to Jessica is off the table.  More importantly, his supposed desire to be there for his daughter is forgotten.  Shocker!  Jessica’s mad for Josie’s sake.  She’s also sad for herself.  I think she was looking forward to the arrangement, for better or for worse, more than she’s willing to admit.  I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before Jose comes crawling back to Jessica.  Let’s hope she has learned a lesson.  Jose is no good for her.  (neither is Tequila)

TELL US –  Hollywood Exes – boring or fun?  

 

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