Last night's Teen Mom 2 brought tears, tears, and more tears. Leah Messer finds that a reconciliation is not in the cards, while Jenelle Evans continues to screw up her life one failed drug test at a time. Kailyn Lowry can't understand why Jo Rivera is playing her. It's totally different than when she did it to him! Finally, poor Chelsea Houska. I think all that bleach has permanently affected her brain and her judgment. Who am I kidding? I am giving her hair dye far too much credit!
We begin the episode with Leah. She's upset that estranged husband Corey Simms doesn't want to try to salvage their relationship. She only cheated once, so what is the big deal? Their twins are precious, but they are even cuter when they are biting their mom. Leah receives an e-mail from her attorney about a settlement agreement. Also not wanting to reconcile is Jo with his ex Kailyn. Kailyn is sad that Jo has moved on with his own video vixen, but at least her bestie is home from college to keep her company. She tells her friend about her love triangle with Jo and Jordan, as well as her non-existent relationship with her mom. It's been five months since the pair has talked, so Kailyn calls her. After being sent to her mother's voicemail, Kailyn has Isaac leave a giggling message of nonsense before she talks. She doubts she'll get a call in return.
Chelsea is thinking about quitting her job at the tanning bed. I don't think she's thought this through. How is she going to maintain that natural orange glow throughout the winter months? I am also confused as to what kind of headdress she is sporting. Oh wait, that's her actual hair. WTH? Doesn't she want to go to beauty school? Who would let her color their hair after seeing what she does to her own? Chelsea and Adam Lind are hot and heavy again, despite Chelsea's best efforts to take things slow. Bwahahahaha! Adam arrives, and Chelsea begins the requisite baby talk we've all grown to loathe. With her twentieth birthday being the following day, Chelsea requests her gift from Adam. It's a promise ring. He promises not to be as much of a d-bag as in season's past. It's a start. Baby Aubree bursts into tears at her mother's excitement. Smart kid!
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Later that day, Chelsea meets with her friend Megan, who also loves to worship at the alter of UV bulbs. She shares her job tribulations and hasn't decided if she's going to call her boss to quit or just stop going into work. I don't know about you, but I'm thrilled to see how much Chelsea has matured. Her friend notices the heart shaped promise ring. Chelsea is over the moon that Adam has finally purchased something for her. It's a rare occurrence. I still think he's trying to butter her up for when he tells her his lease is up and he needs a free place to crash. Chelsea isn't ready to tell her dad that she's back together with Adam. Heck, he doesn't even know the pair is talking.
Jenelle is worried she's going to fail her upcoming drug test. As if that wasn't enough, her car has broken down so she needs to buy a brand new one. Thankfully mom Barbara is lending her the money. Wait, doesn't Jenelle have all that MTV cash to throw around? I guess she earmarks that for pot, not car payments. Her attorney Dustin Sullivan calls to remind her that she needs to stay on the straight and narrow because her parole officer is not going to be lenient with her. Jenelle's friend is all, "OMG, your parole officer is such a drag.
When If you get arrested again, I'll totes bail you out so I have someone to smoke with after class."
A lonely Kailyn toils away in retail hell while Jo dines with his new lady love and video star Vee. She's got a poor man's Farrah Abraham vibe kicking, which isn't saying much. I wonder if she realizes Jo's friends shot this video on a smartphone. Jo mumbles about loving Isaac and Kailyn being jealous of Vee. At home, Kailyn makes a last ditch effort to reach her mom, only to find out that Mommy Dearest has blocked her phone number. I am really starting to feel badly for her!
Jace is throwing a temper tantrum. He seems to take after his mother. Jenelle admits to her mother that she's smoked pot and is worried she's going to fail her drug test. Barbara calmly questions Jenelle as to the potential consequences of her actions: jail time and losing financial aid. She wonders what Jenelle plans to do. Thankfully, Jenelle has thought things through, and she's going to purchase a drink from a head shop that allegedly cleans out your system for two hours. Yeah, that will totally work! Why is everyone so concerned? A mystery detox drink from a head shop…the answer to everything.
Chelsea drops off her tanning bed keys to a fellow co-worker after leaving an "I quit" voicemail for her boss. She takes Aubree to visit her mom, who wants to hear all about her daughter's birthday plans. Chelsea's dad will be throwing a barbeque for her and her friends. Off topic, her mom is far too old to be sporting that nose ring. Her mother wonders if Adam is invited to the celebration. Pshahhh. Chelsea shows off her promise ring, telling her mom that Adam's promise is "he's not going to leave me, you know, like every other time before. He not going to cheat like he always does." That's quite a promise! She tells her mom that she quit her job, and her mom balks at the fact Chelsea didn't give two weeks notice. Um, duh. Her manager was mean to her and hurt her feelings. That kind of behavior doesn't require two weeks notice. I think my head may explode.
Leah is meeting with her roommate who has been shacking up with her boyfriend. She fills in her friend about the status of what's going on with Corey. She blames him for not wanting to try to work on their relationship by going to marriage counseling. Meanwhile, Jenelle is trying her hardest not to throw up her mystery drink. After her drug test, she gets back into her car bawling crying. Her mother calls and learns that Jenelle's parole officer will be turning her in for violating her parole. Jenelle can't believe that the drink didn't work!
Kailyn is using her friend Mark as a sounding board. I'm so glad to see him back. She's wallowing in her loneliness. Mark needs to be a licensed therapist. Leah's sister baby-sits the twins while she heads to mediation. Afterwards, she and Corey discuss their agreement, and they are both as happy as one could possibly be deciding custody in a divorce. They both seem to have the focus where it needs to be–on their daughters. Leah accuses Corey of thinking it is easier to give up on their marriage than to fight for it. Corey tells her he never pictured them getting divorced, but he had little faith that marriage counseling would help them. He reminds her that he's been chasing her and trying to make it work since the pair met, and she retorts that she never asked him to chase her. I feel badly for Corey. He really put in a lot of effort, and had she just been patient and given him a chance, they could have worked. When he brings up her cheating with her ex, she decides that the conversation is over. I hope Corey still has his camo hat to keep him company.
Chelsea appears to wearing a Rod Steward wig over some heinously long extensions. Her friend brings by a birthday bouquet, and Chelsea shoves a cubic zirconia studded finger in her face. "Look what my boyfriend got me," she babbles. Her friend freaks out when Chelsea jokes that it's an engagement ring. When Chelsea admits that it just means the two of them are back together, Aubree bursts into tears in the background. I tell you, this kid is on to something. A shirtless Adam four-wheels his way back into Chelsea's heart and home. She leaves with her friends to go to the barbeque. Chelsea promises to bring Adam leftovers as long as he promises not to stay out all night. Even trade.
The loneliness has finally gotten to Kailyn, so she decides to call Jordan. She doesn't have all that much to say, but thankfully Jordan is kind enough to talk to her like a mature adult when she gives him her pity party. She wants to work on their relationship
now that Jo is taken. Jordan wants to talk in person and see Isaac. He misses the little guy. Even though he wants to appear guarded, he appears much more open to a reconciliation than Kailyn does…and she suggested it!
Jenelle is meeting with her attorney after her failed drug test. Dustin reveals that she has two choices: 45 days in jail, or a second chance which would extend her probation period for another nine months. Well, I think to myself, that sounds promising! I'm glad the probation officer is being so soft. Oh, wait. Jenelle can't commit to not smoking weed for nine months, so that second option really doesn't work for her. Dustin tells her that while he'll ask for less jail time, she needs to be prepared to do the full term. She bombards him with her troubles, she wants to move out, she needs her freedom, she's broke, her mom thinks she's not a good mother, she has to put her time with Jace on hold because she can't just say no. I am not feeling the least bit sorry for Miss Evans during this rant. I don't think Dustin does either.
After hearing that Corey is dating again, Leah hacks into his e-mail account and prints out a bunch of messages between him and the new girl. For Leah, now it makes total sense why he won't try to work on their marriage. He's acting so high school. Um, did she or did she not just HACK HIS E-MAIL AND READ HIS PRIVATE MESSAGES? Later that day, Leah calls Corey while he's playing with their daughters. She questions him about talking to girls so soon after their break-up, and he reminds her that she left him and filed for divorce. Leah is crying yet again, and I can't help but feel badly for Corey.
Jordan and Kailyn finally meet. While she realizes that she hasn't been very fair to him, she really needs someone to vent to about her mom. Jordan praises Kailyn's mothering skills, and he promises to be there for her and Isaac regardless of where they stand relationship-wise. The pair kiss, and I can't help but want to reach through my television to shake Jordan. He's such a good guy, and it's clear to anyone watching that Kailyn is just looking for someone to pay her attention in Jo's absence.
Chelsea is worried that her dad is going to find out she's back with Adam and that she's quit her job. She hopes that he won't notice the diamonique ring on her finger. Chelsea tells her dad that she wants a new job, and he warns her to find another before she quits the tanning bed. Too late! Next her dad questions the heart-shaped token of fidelity on her finger. Chelsea's doing a great job of keeping those two things from her dad. He's less than thrilled.
After her meeting with Dustin, Jenelle heads to the park to meet her mom and Jace. A pouty Jenelle sits in the car and only cracks the window when her mom comes to inquire about what is happening with her parole. Jenelle sullenly lists her gripes, including getting no support (Um, hi. Your mother takes care of your child.) and wanting to smoke weed all the time. Barbara tries to calmly talk to her daughter, but Jenelle doesn't want to hear it and peels out of the parking lot. Throw her arse in jail.
Next week, Chelsea's dad finds out Adam has moved back in while Kailyn decides to take Jo back to court. Barbara refuses to bail Jenelle out of jail, and Leah and Corey's divorce is finalized.
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[Photo Credit: MTV]