My new favorite reality family has quickly become the
Kardashian Stanley Sisters. Gypsy Sisters has quickly found a special place in my heart and I can’t put my finger on whether it’s their general lack of a filter that makes them seem authentic and genuine or whether it’s because the strange and alluring life of a Gypsy that I have a general lack of knowledge on or maybe it’s because I have finally found a family that appears even more crazy and irrational than mine! Either way, these girls entertain the hell out of me with their hilarious one liners, over the top rituals and crazy parties! Move over Kevin Lee, Gypsy party planners are taking over!
So we start with a flash back to a miserable Mellie Stanley on her wedding day, falling down the aisle. Kayla
gives wonderful words of encouragement starts placing bets on how long the happy couple will last. Kayla thinks Mellie won’t last 3 weeks let alone 72 days, snaps for Kimmie Kakes!
We now arrive at the hospital, Mellie has been sick for the past 2 weeks and that’s not all she’s sick of. Apparently she’s sick of her marriage, too. She announces that her marriage to Robbie lasted a grueling 6 days. I guess Kayla wasn’t actually too far off the mark with her prediction whilst she outlasted Nettie’s prediction of 24 hours. Mellie explains Robbie was going out partying and possibly cheating while she was at home living with her new in-laws, which you know, is a totally normal living arrangement. Call me crazy, but maybe these things like living arrangements should have been addressed before the holy moment of saying ‘I do’.
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Kayla and her daughter Danielle are at the nail salon when Kayla learns Danielle has been talking to a Rumney boy called George who also happens to be a family friend. It appears little Danielle is 14 going on 40 and may have been listening to a little ‘I am woman hear me roar..’ because she doesn’t seem phased in the slightest to tell over protective Papa bear about her new beau, declaring that she is woman enough to tell her Daddy the truth. Fast forward to Mama Kayla telling Danielle that Papa bear may not approve and take away her phone, to which Danielle magically becomes an irrational 14 year old girl and replies that ‘she would die because she couldn’t live without texting George'. Suddenly harmony and balance was once again restored to the universe.
Back at Nettie’s house she announces the list of all the children that are living under her roof and I’m now inclined to rename her and bestow her honor of calling her Mother Hubbard because it appears she has so many children, grandchildren, pregnant sisters and cousins she doesn’t know what to do. Not only is Mellie pregnant but so is Nettie’s daughter Dallas. Nettie decides that it would be good practice for Mellie to take care of Dallas’s daughter Demi for the day. I don’t know who is more scared: Mellie, Dallas or baby Demi. One thing is for sure, I know I am genuinely worried about the welfare of baby Demi.
Child Protective Services anyone???
14 or 40? Danielle who has suddenly lost her mighty woman roar 14 it is and is hiding out in her room when Kayla asks her to come and tell her dad about her talking/texting relationship. Danielle nervously explains that she has been talking to a Rumney boy which naturally sets dad off. To make matters worse, Danielle reveals her new beau is called George. Richard immediately looks like he is about to have one of Mellie’s vomiting attacks. After hearing the name George, Richard assumes it is Danielle’s first cousin she is talking about. Both Danielle and Mom both assure him it’s not her cousin but actually a family friend. After initially thinking his daughter was falling in love with his nephew, family friend George doesn’t actually seem so bad and they agree to George coming over for dinner.
While most parents of 14 year olds are worried about their daughters going to 2nd base, Gypsy Moms and Dads apparently have to worry about their daughters running off and getting married to their Rumney boyfriends?! Both Kayla and Richard agree it’s better to embrace their daughter's new
mobile phone relationship than face the alternative. Danielle is giddy with excitement and runs along to tell her text message boyfriend the wonderful news.
Back at baby rearing palace Nettie has decided today is the day Mellie has to look after baby Demi. I won’t lie, my heart stopped a little, but while Mellie wasn’t great, she wasn’t all bad. I mean she did put a nappy on Demi and she revealed that she knew you had to hold baby's necks. Lets hope she gets a little more practice in between now and the arrival of her bundle of joy. I have a feeling living at Nettie’s will give her the practice she needs, that woman has babies falling out of the sky!
The girls all get together to have lunch at the battle town and Mellie immediately asks if it was a war place, to which the waitress reveals it was a hospital and that a southern confederate soldier hung himself in the same room they were dinning in – you know, just your typical dinner chit chat. The girls look queasy, and to be honest I don’t blame them. #NoWayToMakeTipsWaitressLady!
Mellie drops the bomb that she and Robbie are no longer together and that he is also on probation and is in trouble with the law. This provokes a discussion about how Mellie felt growing up without a father and how Nettie’s kids have also had a father in prison for 13 years. This is kind of sad and also explains a lot about why Mellie may be the way she is with an absentee father that she has never known and a mother who has spent majority of her life in prison. #SadStanleyMoment
Laura changes the conversation and makes a grand announcement that she and Kayla are going into the fashion business together – making kids clothes. Nettie is instantly annoyed and obviously considers herself the only one with fashion sense of the bunch. What’s even more shocking is Nettie’s no holds barred attitude. She isn’t even trying to hide her disdain with the idea and that she wasn’t included. Not to mention, Nettie reveals that she has been thinking about doing that herself! WARNING – like all good reality shows before them, Gypsy Sisters wouldn’t be a hit until there is a something like; black baby gate, cake/bow gate, deadbeat baby daddy gate, cookbook joke gone wrong gate etc. And now we have it – stolen gypsy kids clothing idea gate!! Here we go viewers!!! Nettie starts calling Laura and Kayla dumb and dumber which makes her look les mean. Nettie says she could make turd hill into a diamond pyramid, and somewhere in the world Gretchen Rossi’s ears pricked up a little bit. No need for the faux diamond ring now, Slave Slimey! You can just call Mrs Magician Nettie and you can get your
lady boss girlfriend Gretchy a whole diamond pyramid!!
The whole time they are arguing I kind of tuned out just imagining the idea of Gypsy baby/kids clothes. I’m frightened and all of a sudden Lottie Mae, who has just recently been sprung from the big house, is listening to Mellie’s baby's heartbeat. Apparently Lottie Mae is a bit confused by anatomy and thinks the baby may be up around her chest, eventually they find the heartbeat.. #nicebondingmoment
Mellie is off to see her Lawyer about her case. She catches him up to speed and reveals she is married and pregnant. She is told that she is going to have to go to jail for 2 weekends while she is pregnant. I feel like she needs a Phaedra Parks lawyer who can offer her pregnancy pickles while telling her bad news… mmm hmm. Mellie then asks her lawyer for help getting an annulment and she also wants some help locating her father who she believes to look like Beetle Juice??
Mellie and Lottie Mae have a catch up and Mellie starts asking questions about her dad. Lottie Mae high tails out of there faster than she ran out of the big house!
Kayla’s clan are getting ready for George’s arrival and they are preparing smores and hot dogs. I guess y’all just lost my invite! #Lovemesomesmores! Aunty Laura starts suggesting Danielle put on some pants and an oversized shirt.. Guess she isn’t the cool aunty! George arrives and he is just about the same size as Richard. He looks a little old for Danielle but I guess Kayla and Richard are comfortable with it. The same can’t be said for Aunty Laura!! The young couple instantly start getting touchy feely and are so comfortable that Danielle sits on George’s lap while he calls her his woman. Kayla couldn’t be happier saying that it felt like they were all on a double date, both sitting on their man's laps. Aunty Laura however is slightly melting down over #lapgate! And I am inclined to agree! She distracts herself by making herself a bouquet of roasted marshmallows and I suddenly become jealous that I hadn’t ever thought of doing that myself and hungry all at once.
Nettie calls Kayla and Laura and starts in on stealing her kids clothing idea and after a lot of smack talk and insults Kayla realizes Nettie is hurling abuse because she feels left out not because she is angry over them stealing her idea. Kayla’s rational and level headed maturity actually surprised me and naughty Nettie’s nasty insults actually didn’t. At least #clothinggate only lasted an episode and not a whole season. #Takenotehousewives!!!
Mellie decides to meet with Robbie to discuss their future. If history is any indicator for these two, the future is lookin’ pretty bleak for a happy two parent household for baby Stanley. Robbie offers Mellie some hog legs. Mellie is skeptical and asks uncle Phil if it’s actually a hog or chicken. Uncle Phil uses animal sounds to help Mellie understand that she is indeed about to enjoy eating Babe, pig in the city. He then offers a delicious alternative – frog legs. Obviously frogs aren’t a norm on Mellie’s menu and she makes a swift exit to the bathroom to hurl!
After she returns from her vomiting spree, Robbie and Mellie
go round in circles start swearing and bickering about Robbie not being there for her when she was in the hospital, which he denies. Mellie threatens to start stripping again to support the baby and Robbie threatens to take the baby. It seems this couple isn't emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship at this point, let alone be parents. The status of the marriage is up in the air as Mellie declares he is here for the next few days and although she isn’t feeling too well they will wait and see what the next few days bring.
Somewhere Kayla started a betting ring about how long after the hog wings were digested and then thrown back up Mellie once again called time on her relationship and headed back to her lawyer.
Fancap Author: Gina P.
*Please remember that the author is a fan willing to share this show through her eyes and she's writing a recap for the first time, so please be kind!
Photo Credit: TLC