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On this episode of The Rachel Zoe Project we saw Rachel bicker with her husband over just about anything. The family partied at the Polo and also with the Hilfiger’s. Rachel got high off Krakoff clutches and declared war against the color pink, and of course baby Skyler was adorable.

Au revoir Paris and Bonjour La-La land! After a fun filled trip to Paris which consisted of fashion extravaganzas, merry-go-round madness, air kissing the fashion gods of France and absolutely no romance at least with her husband, the Zoe family are back in Los Angeles. A place where Rachel’s neurotic behavior and stress levels are relatively proportioned to the other L.A crazies citizens.

Back in La La land we are immediately given the treat of witnessing diva Rodger having a fashion dilemma. Rachel admits she can only blame herself because she made him that way.  Rachel declares she is too busy dressing Skyler to dress her husband. However it seems Miss Zoe was just too busy to dress Rodgey poo because she happily dresses Joey.

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Not only does Rachel dress Joey, the two begin to swoon over each other declaring if Rachel were a man they’d so have sexy times and then they proceed to give each other a kiss. I can’t remember the last time I saw Rachel kiss Rodger? Maybe if Rodger came out he’d finally get a kiss from her too! Side note: Skyler was totally the best dressed of the whole bunch – so adorable! The family + Joey are off to the Polo. Rachel apparently loves all things Polo and is a huge fan, I didn’t really see her even watch the game, but at least Rodger did.  The Polo totally seems like a celebrity breeding ground and methinks that’s why Rachel loves it. #Theory

I am so glad we are back at Rachel’s headquarters, because I really missed Mandana and her I am so stressed I could actually self-combust at any minute face. Dear Bravo production: last week’s 10 second snippet of Mandana mental-ness was absolutely not enough for me to get my fix. Rachel announces she hates pink, and I can’t say that I’m overly shocked, being that I’ve only ever seen her dress in black, brown and moss colored clothes lately. I can’t actually say I’ve ever seen Rachel in a pink fashion ensemble.

Rachel is meeting up with Ariel Foxman who is the Managing Editor of InStyle. All I can think during this scene is, ‘what is Rachel wearing?’ It seriously looks like a purple velvet pantsuit. The fashion duo decide to collaborate on a 60's inspired photo shoot with Jaime King as the model. I am amazed Mr. Foxman decided to give her any work after seeing that pantsuit.

Back at Chateau Zoe we observe Rachel and Rodger in their natural habitat bickering and arguing over everything. Rodger likes Rachel’s hair, Rachel doesn’t. Rodger likes his outfit; Rachel hates his outfit and calls him a slob. Rachel wants an apartment in New York, Rodger doesn’t. Rachel only wants to design black and white; Rodger tells wifey to enjoy designing clothes nobody will buy. Rachel pouts. Rodger is mad his wife won’t dress him anymore; Rachel says he had her undivided attention for 20 years and now it’s Skyler’s turn. Now Rodger pouts, and says he wants a refund on the marriage. I am seriously frightened for Skyler’s upbringing around these two Bickersons. They give the Maloof Hoof and Nasty Nassif a run for their money for sure! #OriginalBickersons!

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Rachel is on a shopping spree with her collection designer Michael. Rodger should totally seize this opportunity and sneak a kiss from Rachel while she high on a shopping binge. Rachel is shouting ‘ermahgerd’, ‘this is everything’ and ‘maj’. Every time she says ermahgerd she sounds like a cross between Sméagol/ Gollum and Fran Drescher. I totally hope after she retires ermahgerd and maj she starts saying ‘myyyy precioouuuusssss…’

Rachel and Rodger are off to drinks with Tommy Hilfiger and his silent wife Dee. Tommy and Rachel have some nostalgic flashbacks to when she first worked with him, I wonder if she was this neurotic back then too? Rachel asks Dee if she will be having any more babies..and she spoke! I guess she wasn’t a robot after all. It’s a no to more babies for Dee – sorry Tommy! However Rachel wants a daughter and she is going to name her Luna. I think Rachel decided on this name as a salute to herself, as I’m certain Luna is short for Lunatic! And yet again Rodger is unaware of everything. Not only does he have zero clue as to what is happening within the company he is CEO of but he also has zero clue as to what is going on within his family. Their marriage is concerning and amusing at the same time.

Back at the office Rachel is playing dress up and Mandana seems slightly less stressed than normal – I feel cheated her aneurysm expressions haven’t made their weekly appearance. Rachel is dissecting her pre-fall collection and playing dress up at the same time. On a positive note – Rachel says that it is important that this collection not being, itchy, scratchy or pully. Best sellers already! Reed Krakoff sends Rachel a clutch, which you know totally changes her life. Evidently that’s what bags do in the world of Rachel Zoe. She allows her humble servants to take photos of her holding the clutch and some of them are bestowed with the honor of actually touching the clutch which they act like it could potentially be the holy grail and bring with it eternal life.

It’s the day of InStyle’s 60's fashion shoot and Eileen is preparing everything for Queen Zoe who has recently inhaled the Reed Krakoff clutch and is on a fashion happy high. Rachel inspects the collection Eileen has put together and it seems like her fashion high has worn off because she is not speaking or shouting; this is everything, ermahgerd or maj. Rachel is silent, Eileen is nervous, I am nervous I even think that the clothes are nervous! Rachel grunts, Eileen looks panicked. Lucky for Eileen grunting is a sign of glee for Rachel! I guess Eileen had the Krakoff clutch scent bottled up into a perfume and quickly sprayed it in Rachel’s direction when things were starting to look like they were going awry. Harmony and balance restored to the universe all in one spray!

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Jaime King arrives and is checking out the collection. Jaime is concerned that some of the clothes look like her hoo-haa will be hanging out. But Jaime needn’t worry, its Rachel to the rescue with matching hotpants! Daisy Duke style! Jaime is in awe of the collection and apparently Rachel is so in awe she has no words! That is until she starts speaking seconds later and asks Jaime; ‘couldn’t you just gag?’… and then I found myself shouting ‘ermahgerd’ to the TV because I don’t think Rachel understands that gagging is what happens before one vomits. I truly hope the clothes don’t make Jaime vomit. I suppose if vomiting is what happens to Rachel when she sees amazing clothes it would certainly explain why she is so skinny! I can’t believe I am going to say it but PLEASE go back to saying maj and swiftly retire gag. Thank you!

Jaime absolutely rocks the shoot and could totally pass for a Brigitte Bardot or Twiggy! Every look is more stunning than the last and Jaime looks as though she was totally from the 60's era. Skyler and Rodger arrive and everybody dances and swoons over Sky-Sky, and in all seriousness who wouldn’t?!

Back at chaos headquarters the studio, Rachel is in a meeting with Michael discussing all things fabric, swatches, color. Michael is concerned they only have 15 minutes to discuss the logistics but Rachel thinks 15 minutes is literally days. Good grief, if this is how she measure time the Berman/Zoe marriage has lasted centuries and I can totally understand why these two are so sick of each other! Talking about colors apparently turns Rachel on. I can’t be sure if it’s the talk of color or whether Michael in general gets Rachel’s fashion engine running? Rachel equates the whole production process as similar to childbirth.. I guess she has forgotten how painful contractions are lately, maybe little Luna will give her a refresher course!?

Back at home Rachel is grooming Rodger like a monkey. I’m sorry but no amount of grooming can fix that hairstyle. Apparently Skyler has music class the next day. When did Skyler, who is 19 months old become Mozart? Is this an LA thing because I didn’t realize babies took music classes before they had fully functioning dexterity development? I guess Skyler’s fine motor skills are so advanced he will basically be a musician next episode and Mommy will style him for his music video clip and Daddy will sit around confused about everything because that’s what Rodger does best.

Rachel informs Rodger that he needs to consider the idea of buying a place in New York. She tells him that 50% of their business is in LA but the remaining 50% is in New York so it makes sense that they have a base in NY. Rodger flat out refuses to entertain the idea, stating that if they had a place in New York she’d be away from her family for longer periods of time. Rachel argues instead of jumping on and off planes and staying in hotels for short periods of time, they would be able to stay in one location for longer as a family. Rodger puts his foot down and like all good Rachel and Rodger fights, one party flees – this time it was Rachel. Silly Rodger hasn’t he learned anything? His wife will do whatever she wants and the more he says no the more she wants it! RZ totally ran inside to call her realtor!! #RodgertheAmateur. 

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Next week the Zoe family conveniently visits New York. Rachel shops, Mandana loans Rodger her aneurysm face, the couple check on the construction status of DreamDry Salon, Rodger complains about money and Rachel drags Rodger to shop for apartments. Looks like this may be a battle Rodger is not going to win!

Fancap Author: Gina P.

Photo Credit: Bravo TV

 

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