I'm going to go ahead and apologize in advance for this blog post because I know I'm going to offend people with my bluntness and stupidity…even people who roll their eyes at the mention of all things Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, little
Kompass North, and the child that is most certainly NOT America's Baby.
First things first…a quick disclaimer: just because I doubt that Kim and the tiny rapper's newborn has yet to sit up, say her first word, moonwalk, or buy her first pair of Manolos does not mean that I am in any way making fun of the baby's development. That said, the founder of the Pussycat Dolls is claiming the child is already giggling up a storm. False. Not false because I am snarky and Kim irks me, but false because I took more than my share of child development classes. I don't doubt that gas is making North make some super precious faces, but she's not actually laughing.
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Whatevs. According to Life & Style, Robin Antin has shared, "I met baby North right after she was born and I went to the hospital and Kim was just so beautiful and glowing and she truly is the best mom. She's having so much fun. She's just beautiful and seeing Kim and Kanye together, you can just feel the love and the connection that is just absolutely beautiful." Wait, was it beautiful?
Of the laughing baby genius, Robin adds, "There's something about her little face you can tell she's so pretty and she was laughing and giggling! Like she had this little smile. I'm telling you she was literally just born and had this little smile on her face and I kept going, 'Kim! Kim! Get the camera! Oh my god, she's smiling!' And she's like, 'I know! I've taken five million pictures of that smile.' It's so weird! I've ever seen a newborn smile like that!"
Laugh's on you, Robin! What Kim meant to say was that one picture of North is worth five million dollars…not that she's actually taken that many photos. She can't be…she's gearing up for a major slim down. Kim's trainer shares with In Case You Didn't Know that a chipper Kim is excited to get back into a fitness routine–although she's not stressing about weight loss.
Tracy Anderson tells the site, “It’s a tough time, and a lot of women feel like it’s a huge mountain to climb to get back, but Kim, surprisingly, has had the totally opposite reaction to other moms. She’s like, ‘We’re going to be so good. It’s fun, I feel great!’ She just loves the whole process. From our talks during her pregnancy, I thought she was going to be really concerned [about her weight] once the baby was out, but she’s just not…She’s in baby heaven. She’s excited to get started, but she’s really calm about it all.”
Quick question…when Kim's supposed biffles and employees talk to the media about her childbirth, does she get a cut? Joking aside, I am so curious!
And finally (and I'm really embarrassed by this portion of my post), Yeezy took to Twitter (yes, he's back) to share his new daddy gift from Kim. I am so tech challenged that I still have a walkman and mix tapes that I run with when my phone battery is low (which is often). When I first saw the picture of 'Ye's gift, I thought, "Aww booties!" until I noticed the Apple logo. Is it a double mouse for a computer? New fangled headphones? Does Steve Jobs really have such nice penmanship? What is "Woz"? Am I really so old and out of touch that I can't figure out what this is? Yes, yes, maybe, and yes. After some research, I see they are a pair of autographed Apple mice, signed by Apple's co-founders, Steve Wozniak and the late Steve Jobs.
TELL US-DO YOU THINK NORTH IS ALREADY LAUGHING? WHAT DID KANYE GET FOR FATHER'S DAY???
[Photo Credit: Twitter]