Season two of Hollywood Exes is off to a rough start. Nicole Murphy lost her father, the ratings are down, Daphne Wayans proved to be more trouble than she's worth, Sheree Fletcher misplaced her storyline, and Drea Kelly's obsession with Jessica Canseco is getting old. The only bright spot thus far is Mayte Garcia's adoption of Gia. She's a cutie, for sure, but some fans wonder if Mayte is emotionally stable enough to handle motherhood. We'll see…
This week, Mayte's dad is coming to town to meet Gia, so Mayte sets up a mini makeover for Nelly. Mayte's parents haven't seen each other in 1 1/2 years. Seems weird – but it works for them. Mayte loves Nelly's updated look, saying, "Mom's gonna get some, um, EWW." Meanwhile, Sheree and Drea shop for baby stuff, with a side dish of bash Jessica. Doesn't Drea have a broken foot? Sheree have some ash to whoop? Anything to do besides talk about Jessica?
First, Drea picks out a blue bib, and Sheree suggests one that's more girly. Drea finds a purple bib, and Sheree lectures, it's too Prince-y. Seriously? Then, Drea gets emotional, buying baby stuff for Mayte. Drea and Sheree agree that Mayte seems less sad and no longer stuck in a state of mourning since Gia.
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Finally, Sheree stirs the pot, bringing up Jessica's reaction to Mayte's adoption. Together, they shake their heads in disbelief, and then Sheree jokes about needing to institutionalize their friend. Not Drea's friend! Thinking about Jessica, she says, "I get a knot in my stomach," adding, "I can't imagine how Mayte feels." I'm sure Drea will tell Mayte how she needs to feel before the end of the hour. Until then, Drea informs us how Jess makes her feel, and it's HOT. "I was on fire," she shares. "My weave almost went up in smoke." Sheree licks her paws like the sly cat she is – another job well done.
So, Jessica went out of town, and Josie threw a party. Needless to say, Jessica is not happy with her teenage daughter, especially since she hired a babysitter to keep an eye on her. Um, what? First, Jessica's parenting is all over the place. Josie is allowed to date, cuss, and pierce her body, but she's not allowed to entertain her friends. And she drives a Mercedes! Okay, that's not relevant, I'm just jealous. Second, this so-called babysitter is only three years older than Josie, great plan Mom! Jessica grounds Josie and takes away her car for two weeks.
Next, Nicole invites Jessica and Sheree to her house, to try on costumes for an upcoming costume party. Jessica's peacock is too small. Sheree's astronaut comes with major camel toe. Nicole's belly dancer barely covers her boobs. They have a great time – and they're fun to watch – but they all agree that the costumes are bad.
Fast forward to the party, Sheree stuffs her backside and puts on a pink wig – she's Nicki Minaj. Drea looks like a 1950's Playboy bunny. She loses her sh-t over Sheree's big booty. Mayte puts on, um, a dress and calls herself Cher – worst. costume. ever. Nicole is – a sexy pirate? I'm not sure, but she looks amazing, as per usual. Jessica dresses up as a slaughtered baby cow – of course she does! – in an attempt to stop people from eating veal. Drea isn't as amused by Jessica's costume as she is by Sheree's. "Good thing it's already slaughtered," she says. "Because she's about to be dead."
Obvi, Mayte's out with her friends despite her dad's insistence that her social life is over now that she's a mom, but she admits that she misses Gia terribly. Meanwhile, a tall man walks into the costume party, and Jessica insists it's Jose. She grabs his "junk" to be sure. "No nuts," she announces. "It's Jose!" Then, she jumps up and wraps her legs around the tall man, raising a few eyebrows. Sheree is like, Woah! Wasn't Jessica just talking about moving in with her new boyfriend? Nicole and Mayte share similar thoughts – Jose and Jessica seem exceptionally flirty – and Mayte thinks they'll end up in bed together sometime soon.
The next day, Jessica admits to Nicole, she and Jose drank way too much at the party and went home together. That said, she insists nothing sexual happened, and she doesn't think her boyfriend will care if/when he finds out. Nicole asks Jessica if she would ever get back with Jose. Jess says, if he could get his sh-t together, yes, but the thought of supporting a man turns her off. Then, Jess adds, she's content with her new man – and his credit card.
Next, Nicole introduces us to new cast member Shamicka Lawrence, who is freshly divorced from Martin Lawrence. "I didn't expect to get divorced but life happens," says Shamicka. "He's a good man, a good father, but at the end of the day, I need to take care of me. I got lost in that world." Nicole understands and nods her head in agreement, saying, "You reach a point where you're just done." Shamicka declares that she's done living someone else's dream, adding, "It's time to be Shamicka!" Nicole invites Shamicka to join her, Sheree, and Jessica on an upcoming trip to New York City.
Finally, Sheree and Mayte celebrate their birthdays with Drea and Jessica. Nicole is out of town. Drea goes out of her way to ignore Jessica, which is fine and all, but she also manages to be obnoxious about it. Little inside jokes, clinging to her Tay-Tay, etc. Jessica messes with her phone, claims Josie needs her, and excuses herself from the table. Naturally, this annoys Mayte and Drea, who both assume that Jessica is lying, being rude, acting out, all of the above. Sheree defends Jess. "Maybe she's uncomfortable," she says while glaring at Drea. "Or maybe she really had to tend to her daughter." Mayte thinks Jess uses Josie as an excuse.
Mayte takes this opportunity to ask Sheree and Drea if they were bothered by Jessica's reaction to Gia. Duh! Drea admits that she's fired up, angrily adding, "It was not the time or place for her G-d damn opinion!" Sheree gives her some side eye, saying, "That's a little over the edge." Sheree tells the camera that someone – probably Drea – is soon going to snap. Next, Drea loses her marbles, crying about being "fed the hell up" with Jessica. "[Gia's mother] did the best thing for her daughter," says Drea. "The ultimate sacrifice – but for my friend, the ultimate celebration, and Jessica took that from her." DREA SOBS – SNOT AND ALL "She steps on my friend's heart," she continues. "She forever changed how I look at her. Period. There's no more talking to be done."
And the Academy Award goes to… Drippy nose Drea! I don't necessarily disagree with everything she says but she's so over the top with the drama. And I think she's a bit of a hypocrite. Didn't she just lecture Jessica about open communication and being adults? And passive aggressively ignoring Jessica is such an adult thing to do? Gah!
TELL US – YOUR THOUGHTS? TEAM JESSICA OR TEAM DREA? ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO SHAMICKA JOINING THE GROUP?
Photo credit: VH1