This is the season that doesn't end…yes, it goes on and on, my friend! Last night was yet another episode of Dance Moms in what is proving to be the most drawn out season in the history of the world. And I thought last season was long!
Abby Lee Miller is thrilled that her team is eleven for eleven this season, and she rocks the boat by including both Kalani and Peyton. She announces that she has finally replaced Brooke, Paige, and Kelly. Kalani's mom will be the new Kelly, while Kalani is the hybrid of the Hyland girls. Leslie goes crazy. Why is Peyton even here? She follows the rules! She's been trained by Abby since she started walking! What kind of witch would bring in her daughter only to make her an outcast? That's a rhetorical question, right?
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Kalani understands that as the new girl (again), she's on the bottom of the pyramid. Kendall follows with Nia on her heels for not living up to her drag queen experience. What? Chloe rounds out the bottom rung of the pyramid for being beaten by MacKenzie, while MacKenzie is the lowest member of the second tier for not living up to Maddie's rendition. Her older sister is in third, followed by Peyton in second for shining in the group routine. As Abby singes Peyton's praises, I assume that Leslie feels like an idiot for her earlier outburst. A picture of a crazed Kelly tops the pyramid. Abby's got jokes.
Abby waxes poetic about how amazing the costumes will be for this week's group routine in Canton, Ohio. Oh wait, they are two costumes short due to Brooke and Paige! She advises Christi to wrangle those costumes from her bestie, but Christi quips that Abby can talk to Kelly's attorney. Abby is setting up two girls to be cut last minute from the group dance. She's just so kind-hearted. Both Kalani and Peyton will be performing solos…it's clear that Abby wants them to go head-to-head. In Ohio, Cathy is lording over the group number that she pulled in the last competition. She believes her plan was strategic as now this routine will be polished enough to finally beat Abby. It's a different world in the Candy Apples' studio as tensions abound.
The following day, Abby is oohing and ahhing over the white, marabou trimmed costumes as they make their way into the studio. Leslie is concerned that Peyton will be the one left out of the dance if Kelly doesn't cough up her girls' dresses. Leslie attempts once again to get in touch with Kelly, and Melissa suggests that they could alter another costume. Abby bellows that Melissa doesn't sew, and Abby is throwing a tantrum over the costumes she wants her dancers to be wearing. Kelly is a traitor! She is the devil! Christi needs to break into her house and get those damn feather costumes! Christi this time offers for her attorney to intervene. When Abby retorts that Christi basically sucks, Christi unleashes a litany of f-bombs in the reception area. Meanwhile, Cathy is comparing her dancers to the talent that Abby has. However, she's thrilled that she doesn't have a group of pillow-talking negative Nancys as her dance moms.
After Christi's explosion of the "f" bombs, Abby is screaming at her dancers. After chastising Kendall about her mistakes, Abby yells that she's so livid by Christi's language that she plans to take it out on the dancers. The next mother to use that word in her presence will be blacklisted from the ALDC. A defeated Christi apologizes profusely to Jill for Abby's behavior, and Chloe is in tears. Abby reminds Chloe that she shouldn't be crying…she likes Chloe, it's just her mother she hates. That woman must have ice running through her veins. The following day, Abby threatens to turn the group number into a trio because they are still missing Kelly's costumes. Holly declares that Abby doesn't want to enter a group number as she's terrified of losing to Cathy. When Leslie starts mouthing off about how Peyton deserves a chance on the group dance, a sassy Holly fights back that she needs to stop being so egocentric. Nia doesn't have a solo this week, and Leslie is here whining about the fact that her daughter is forced to go up against Kalani. I love a combative Holly!
Cathy is hoping that Nick's solo will be her ace in the hole at the upcoming competition. She's hoping that dancing will help him work through the fact that he just lost his father last week. Oh gracious! I am not going to say a word about the fact that he's back dancing, as he should be doing exactly what he needs to do to cope. I only hope that Cathy's secret plan to make his dance more emotional won't be exploitative.At the ALDS, the moms hope to have come to a costume compromise.Leslie mouths off that none of the new options will fit Peyton, and she accuses Kalani of ruining her daughter's chances on the team. Abby reminds Leslie that she's an invited guest this week, and when Leslie opposes her, Abby quickly un-invites Peyton from performing in the group number.
In Canton, Leslie is still complaining about Peyton's costume and how unfair life is for Peyton. Leslie whines that Abby should have known that Peyton didn't have a properly fitting costume. My question is, if Leslie knew in advance that Peyton's costume didn't fit, why didn't she say something earlier? I half expect Leslie to throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming. Cathy hears their craziness through the walls and thanks her lucky stars that she doesn't have the insanity among her mothers. Leslie makes the mistake of dropping an f-bomb, and Abby promptly ejects Peyton from her team.
Before the performances begin, Cathy butters up one of the judges with a heinous Candy Apples jacket. Nick dances first, and he is extremely talented. He warrants a standing ovation from both the Candy Apple parents and Abby's dance moms. Likewise, Kalani's routine is flawless, and Abby applauds her for facing up to the pressure that Nick created with his amazing dance. In Cathy's studio, a arrogant Lucas from Miami called his teammate "effin' stupid" and then tries to lie about it. He realizes he's got a microphone mere feet fro his face, right? Lucas' teammate is in tears, and Lucas starts sobbing when he's caught in a lie. Of course, his mother thinks he can do no wrong. Cathy tries to mend hurt feelings so that her group routine won't be ruined.
Cathy is in luck–it's an incredible number. Abby is very nervous after seeing the Candy Apples, and she gives her girls what has to be the opposite of a pep talk. When it's time for Abby's girls to perform, the crowd is so loud they aren't able to hear the beginning of their music. They are off to a rocky start, but they pull it together beautifully. Abby is livid, and her girls are in tears as Maddie cries that she missed a turn. Abby accuses the judge of allowing Cathy to sabotage her studio and berates him for wearing a Candy Apples' jacket. Sore (maybe) loser, much Abby? Kalani, not used to Abby's wrath, is the only one who keeps a positive attitude backstage. At the awards ceremony, Nick places third and Kalani wins her division. The Candy Apples take second place in the group number, trumped by the ALDC. A very orange Abby cackles with glee. Cathy is appalled that the ALDC is cheering so obnoxiously.
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE? WHO IS CRAZIER–ABBY OR LESLIE?
[Photo Credit: Lifetime]