We did it! We made it to the bitter end of a season which can best be described in one word: Mattgate. To tie a bow on the whole package, we must tirelessly slog through Part Two of this season’s Little Women: LA reunion, however. And how could we do that without focusing on the man, the myth, the legend – Briana Manson’s new
est husband, Matt himself?
In Part One of the reunion, we ended with the dramatic entrance of Makayla, the woman who Matt sent photos of his nether-regions to while he was in a relationship with Briana. Whether Matt and Briana were on a break when the photos were sent, or whether the photos actually caused the break has yet to be clarified. (And if Briana has it her way, it will likely never be clarified, as she’s talked out of both sides of her mouth on this issue for some time now.)
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We reconvene with host, Tracey Edmonds, who had a tough time reining the screeching and finger-wagging in last week. Let’s see how this week goes! Makayla is introduced to the group and asked what the deal is with Matt’s nude photos. She lives in Washington, where Matt lived until his recent move, and posted an online comment next to a photo of her by a mountain, noting, “It’s beautiful here.” Matt reply-posted: “So is your rack.” From there on, it got more explicit, ending with d*ck pics in texts. Matt is highly amused by Makayla’s retelling of the story, it seems.
Did they have a relationship? No, just sexting. Makayla says it went too far, and she ended it since she’s a married woman. Huh? Matt and Briana argue that, no, that’s not how it happened and they have the whole conversation in print and will put it on social media so have fun with that! (Really? Getting huffy about how your illicit sexting with a married woman ended, are we, Bonnie and Clyde?) Makayla says Briana was naive about the situation, but she proved it was Matt sexting her because of his tattoos. She threatens to put the pictures “out there,” which Matt snarks he doesn’t care about. “Go ahead, I’m not shy!” he threatens.
So, why is Makayla here? She says it’s to show Briana who the real Matt is, and that Briana is too good for him. Briana wonders why she’s so high and mighty when Makayla herself is a married woman engaging in sexting? But Briana does admit that she originally thought Matt’s phone got hacked until the truth came out. Makayla says Briana needs to know who Matt is – a person who sent multiple naked photos to her within minutes of knowing her. Again, Matt tries the whole “Jamie Foxx did it too!” line of reasoning, which – bwahahahaha! (Okay, no one ever accused Matt of being logical. Or faithful. Or sane. Or a psychologically mature adult. But still – this Jamie Foxx argument is #ridiculous!) Ahhhh. Let me catch my breath. Ok, I’m good now.
Even though they were on a “break,” Briana says she was concerned about the photos, but she now chalks it up to people just making mistakes. Elena Gant wonders why Briana didn’t just break up with Matt when she had the chance? Makayla charges Matt further with having a fetish – for black women and little women and bigger women. (In that order?) Terra Jole screams about Matt hitting on her first, but going for Briana after Terra didn’t take the bait.
Matt responds with the expletives in his very limited vocabulary, and Christy McGinity comments about how disgustingly Matt talks to women. In a calm, insightful moment (which is rare for her!), Terra wisely points out that Matt “talks to her [Briana] the exact same way he talks to us.” Matt screams, “YOU’RE NOT A WOMAN!” at Terra, then the two devolve into their usual back-and-forth cluster f**k.
Guess what though? Matt doesn’t care what people think about him! He thinks “someone has to hear themselves all the time because they’re a superstar” (looking at you, Terra), bottom line. Matt says he “works for a living” (ah! Clyde is quite the jokester tonight!). But Terra rips right into that claim, asking the simple question again: what does Matt DO? (A) Briana says Matt works for the state. (B) Terra says he works for sociopaths.r.us. (C) Matt says he “saved kids for 11 years and stood in front of guns!” (WTF?) Which one should we vote on as the correct answer? Cast your ballots below!
Oh my lord. Are you exhausted yet? We’re only 10 minutes in, and this sh*t is off the chain! Back to the couches. The Makayla Moment is nearly wrapped, but not before Matt freaks out at her one last time for accusing him of having fetishes. “You’re calling my kids a fetish!?” he screams, as Matt has children with his ex, who is black. Matt says he loves who he loves, and that’s it. Nothing is resolved as Makayla exits the stage. But maybe we can move on now. Sadly, Briana can’t, as she’s stuck with #d-bagoftheyear for better or worse.
Tracey turns her attention to Terra, who she says we’ve seen many sides of this year. Brittney Guzman and Jasmine Sorge look like they want to punch someone in the throat when Tracey refers to Terra’s “nurturing side,” but they keep their silence as tape rolls on Terra’s season highlights, which include her becoming a mom
and remaining a sh*t-stirrer. Terra says she can be a mom and a party gal all at once. Brittney says Terra’s a whole different person since she’s become a star.
Terra says Brittney’s just saying that because she wants to talk smack about people, then be nice to their faces. But that didn’t work out well for Brittney this season. Brittney claims Terra is always the one starting drama. Even Christy warned Brittney that Terra was fake and not to be trusted with any information. Christy pipes up that “we weren’t getting along then!” Terra thinks it’s normal to talk trash about friends when you’re in a group of women, and she’s no different. Briana backs up Brittney’s accusations, noting that Terra needs to rule the group, always. Terra admits she’s sometimes wrong, and has apologized for her backstabbing. But Brittney’s not buying it.
Now, we take a walk down memory lane to revisit Briana’s strained relationship with her family ever since she met (moved in with and married) Matt online. Briana’s parents and sister are concerned over Matt’s criminal record, which includes an arrest for assault. Matt says he never did anything wrong and, of course, Briana believes him. Since Matt’s moved in, Briana’s parents have basically cut ties with her. “So sad,” sighs Matt, just as Briana’s sister, Tiana, joins the ladies on stage.
Tiana says it’s been difficult in their family ever since Matt came on the scene. She feels Matt has encouraged Briana to distance herself from the family
as all abusers do. Briana’s standards have been lowered since she’s been with Matt, and Tiana feels Briana is no longer being true to herself. The reason Tiana and Terra have hounded Briana about her destructive relationship is because Briana has never given anyone peace of mind about Matt. She says their parents are ready to meet Matt now, but Briana and Matt are resistant. However, Matt says he’s ready to meet them whenever Briana’s ready. He claims he’s never tried to drive a wedge between them.
Will the rest of the ladies accept Matt though? Tonya Banks says she accepted him the moment Briana told her she was married to him. She disagrees with Briana’s choices, but whatever. Terra asks if Briana and Matt are trying to have children? Apparently, Briana posted something on social media akin to “thinking about” having children, but she says they’re not actively trying right now. Tiana looks like she’s going to pass out. Tonya asks if they’re having unprotected sex? They’re using the pull-out method, says Briana. (Now I’m going to pass out.) “That is so elementary!” snarks Tonya. Is she referring to their method of contraception? Their tattoos? Their combined emotional maturity? (It is 11.) Tiana is speechless about Briana and Matt procreating. And with that, she leaves
to go set up an appointment for Matt’s forced vasectomy.
Tracey redirects us to revisit the relationship between Christy and Terra, which has gone hot and cold over the past three seasons. They’re back in a good place now, because the enemy of an enemy is a friend, and Matt is Public Enemy #1. Christy says it “feels amazing” to be friends with Terra again. Terra’s a mom now, which has changed her for the better, says Christy. Terra thinks they’ve grown up a lot, which allows them to get back on track as friends. Tracey wonders how this makes Briana feel? Briana says she gets their friendship, and she’s respectful of it. She and Christy aren’t on the same page right now, but relationships ebb and flow. For her part, Christy feels hurt to her core by Briana lying to her.
Tonya and Elena think a lot of arguments and busted-up friendships could have simply been avoided if Briana had been honest with them about getting married – regardless of whether or not they approved of Matt. Christy loved Briana no matter what, but now feels betrayed by Briana’s deception. She doesn’t know if she and Briana will ever be as close as they once were.
All of the husbands – and Jaa – come out to the couches to join the ladies. We move on to flashbacks of Elena and Preston’s vow renewal, which Briana felt jealous about (but claims she didn’t feel jealous about). Elena says she was surprised to see Briana’s reaction on camera about her vow renewal news, but she does kind of understand it. What she doesn’t understand is why Briana had to get married impulsively. It seemed shady and immature, considering she wanted all of the pomp and circumstance of a big wedding. Elena says Briana’s wedding felt like a protest to the group, but Briana says if she wanted to do that, she would have rubbed it in their faces – not kept it a secret. “Just shut up,” Elena commands. Elena put her big girl pants on tonight! Homegirl came to play! #fierce
It was Elena, after all, who went to bat for Briana at Palm Springs, asking all of the women to tone down their Matt-bashing for the weekend. But then Briana chose to steal Elena’s thunder at her bachelorette party by revealing her big news, thus destroying the entire weekend. Briana argues that she chose that moment because everyone was getting along so well in Palm Springs, so she thought she’s open up to them. While Elena says she’s fine with Briana now, she does wish Briana would have handled things differently.
Moving on to Hawaii, Christy discusses the mud-painting-ritual-turned-couples’-fight-turned-group-brawl. Tracey asks the husbands – and Jaa! – how they felt about Matt calling their women b*tches? Todd was shocked, even though he’s gotten into lowdown nasty arguments with some of the women before himself (looking at you again, Terra!). Matt says Terra called him a b*tch, so he doesn’t feel bad about calling her one. Christy hates that word and thinks it’s something a misogynist would say. Yip. Terra says he talks to Briana like that (which Briana denies).
Jaa, who’s half turned around and poised to sprint off his chair the minute Tonya mentions the words “relationship” and “next level,” says he thinks the ladies are “solid” friends who can overcome their differences. Mmmmkay. Joe says, “Don’t know, don’t care.” Because Joe talking is like Matt talking: it ain’t beneficial to his TV persona. #leashesbyterra Jasmine’s husband, Chris, says he hasn’t been there for a lot of the arguments, but it’s been interesting – and shocking – to see the level of drama this show brings.
Final question: What did the women learn this season? Elena says she felt good about resolving her issues with Brittney calmly and rationally. She also concentrated too much on the details of the wedding in Hawaii, forgetting it was the love of her family she should have really been focused on. Tonya learned she needs to be more open to new friendship
and stop calling every woman in America heifers.
Jasmine learned to take other’s feelings into consideration, and to acknowledge that some of these women just want to dig into each other. So she’s going to be careful about who she gets close to in the future. <side eye> Briana learned that the truth is more important than keeping people happy, so she’s going to be who she is from now on. Terra’s learned how to juggle friendships, and wants to be honest with her friends in the future. She knows she needs to tone down how blunt she is too, but says, “that’s just me.”
So, there we have it. Until next season! Or until Little Women: Atlanta, which looks like it’s the next installment of the Little Women franchise! Will you be watching?
TELL US: WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE REUNION, PART 2? DID MAKAYLA AND TIANA CLEAR THINGS UP, OR MAKE THINGS MESSIER? WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE BACK NEXT SEASON?
Photo Credit: Lifetime & Instagram