The first ladies of Potomac drop their etiquette lessons for some twerking at the beach this week. But it’s not all surf lessons and margaritas for The Real Housewives of Potomac, as Ashley Darby takes some heat over her less-than-glamorous beach house accommodations. Since we’ve recently learned RHOP has indeed been renewed for another season (woohoo!), it will be interesting to see whether these ladies keep up the veneer (how ever thin it may be) of their “manners” and “etiquette” storylines, or whether they start showing us who they really are. Rumors of cast shakeups already abound!
Katie Rost is meeting Gizelle Bryant, Robyn Dixon, and Ashley out for lunch. Gizelle immediately fills Robyn in on Michael dropping his pants and trying to jump overboard at Karen Huger’s harbor party. Robyn’s like, “Meh.” She cannot be bothered. So conversation turns to the ladies upcoming getaway to Ashley’s beach house, in which she plans to accommodate 7 people in 5 bedrooms. Gizelle commands her to work it out, babe. Work.It.Out.
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Katie reiterates that she needs a lot of help with her upcoming Rost Foundation event, which she seems to have no idea how to throw. For a Ball and Gala Girl, whose family literally runs this foundation, Katie acts like this is her first rodeo. Even Robyn is shocked at Katie’s lack of planning. She’ll help, but if this sh*t don’t work out, she doesn’t want the blame falling at her feet. Katie takes umbrage to Robyn’s remarks, uninviting her as part of the “host committee” if she can’t be nice
and feed Katie’s myriad of delusions. Gizelle predicts a hot mess in store for all of them.
Back home, Ashley is doling out tasks to her new personal assistant. She needs this beach weekend to be ON POINT so this group of ladies can stop treating her like the freshman crashing the senior lunch table. She’s suspect of these ladies’ constant etiquette lessons, noting how most of them don’t practice what they preach. Yip.
While Katie packs for the beach, Andrew counts the minutes until he is a free man for four whole days. Katie bemoans the other womens’ criticism of her #MadCharityThowinSkillz! Andrew doesn’t get into it with her, except to advise her to “take the high road.” Andrew laughs the laugh of a man planning to take back his house, and a shred of his dignity, in the next four days. Last time he came back from a trip, Katie had renovated his home. So, what will be in store for Ms. Katie when she returns? (I bet it’s not a ring…)
Over at Karen’s, hubby Raymond is schlepping her bags down the steps. She considers this trip charity work for the Ashley Darby Foundation. She also hopes Ashley’s gotten the memo: Karen does not share rooms with other ladies. Also, she needs a driver. So Ashley comes to fetch her, cute little doggie in tow.
Even though Katie acted like a child at lunch, Robyn, Gizelle, and Charrisse (and some anonymous woman – is that the chick who “comforted” Charrisse in her bathroom at the crab boil??) agree to let her drive them. Bwahahaha. Ok, anonymous woman is Brynee.
In Ashley’s car, Karen is schooling her on the ways of a Potomac Woman. Respect, class, etiquette. You know – all of the behaviors this group of women are known for. <side eye> They discuss room assignments. Katie, Ashley, and Karen are in the single rooms. The remaining women will be shacking up two-by-two, just like rhinos on the Ark.
In Katie’s car, she’s dishing the dirt on dating Russell Simmons. Who, Katie would like us to know, is still on speed dial. Not sure she’s still unblocked from Russell’s phone though, considering she blogged all sorts of sh*t about him after they broke up! Gizelle is shocked Katie would do Russell so dirty after
he dumped her they parted ways. She’d rather just light the dude’s clothes on fire and peace out. But something tells me: 1) Russell Simmons cares less about what Katie writes than what’s on special at Denny’s today, and 2) Andrew had better read these blogs. Now. Andrew: THIS IS YOUR FUTURE.
The ladies arrive at Ashley’s house. Cocktails first, room assignments later. Robyn checks out pictures of Ashley’s stepchildren, who are like 2 months younger than her. They chat about Katie getting Googled in the car, which Gizelle actually says made her appreciate Katie more. #Really!? Then conversation turns to the pull-out method, which Ashley and Michael practice regularly…because they are Mormon!? No birth control allowed with the Aussie? His didgeridoo might be shooting blanks, for all we know. He’s already got two adult children, after all.
The above room is assigned to Robyn and Gizelle. Which is not okay with Gizelle, but makes Robyn bust a gut laughing. Charrrrrrrriiiissssse is less than thrilled with her own twin bed, but downright pissed that Ashley forgot the second “r” in her name. #TheSecondRisSilent!
Karen, meanwhile, gloats over the fact that she’s got her own room. Charrisse of the two r’s and two s’s takes to Yelp to search out local hotel accommodations. #Don’tYelpAngry This situation does not meet the tastes that Gizelle or Charrisse have become accustomed to, they fuss. It’s the Hampton 8 or nothing for them! Harrrrumph! Alas, all local hotels are sold out. Karen channels her inner Kenya Moore as she twirls in delight over her renewed HBIC status.
Despite their whining, everyone ends up staying. The next morning, all of the ladies are helping out with breakfast – all but Gizelle, who’s holed up on her twin bed writing angry poems about new frenemy Ashley and cracking her bubble gum. (I feel like that’s what you should be doing on a twin bed in this situation, at least.) Robyn barely got a full night of sleep after hearing Gizelle moan and groan about their room for hours.
Gizelle finally shows up at breakfast just to snark that she’ll be leaving $20 on the counter to ensure her room’s AC is working tonight. Boom! Ashley admits the AC doesn’t function in that particular room, and she should have told them about the accommodations before they arrived. But she knew they wouldn’t come, sooooo…10 points to Ashley for some shade with a smile!
At the beach later, Ashley, Robyn, and Katie agree to the surfing lessons Ashley has set up. While Karen, Charrisse, and Gizelle
judge cheer from the sidelines. Keeping their makeup and hair in tact is paramount in a beach situation, so the trio take advantage of the booty view on display. Karen votes Ashley best booty, while Gizelle gives the prize to Robyn. Katie is deemed Flatticus Butticus. And therefore the loser.
Not one to be outdone by some surfing butts in training, Gizelle shakes her thang on a board to prove she’s tight and right. And thirsty? As the young’ns (plus Robyn – who is seriously the coolest chick on this show for giving ZERO f*cks at all times!) wipe out in the water, the beached housewives snipe about Ashley’s tramp stamp, how cool they are for not
having any fun going out there, and just generally congratulate themselves for being above it all.
Back at the house, the group gets ready for dinner. Katie drags Brynee and Charrisse to the store for crabs and uses this time to air her grievances about Gizelle and Robyn not believing in her Super Awesome Charity Organizing Powers. Charrisse is, as ever, down-low supportive, but noncommittal. She doesn’t seem interested in entertaining this particular Katie tantrum. She and Brynee do offer
empty promises of support to placate Katie.
At their crab dinner later, Ashley brings up the titillating topic of taking dumps in front of one’s husband. My god! Karen does not so much as emit digestive gas from her anus in front of the Black Bill Gates, let alone defecate! In an effort to redirect, Charrisse asks everyone at the table to say something they admire about each girl. Robyn expresses her undying love for Charrisse, while Karen and Katie praise Ashley for her free spirit – and for giving them their own rooms.
Gizelle keeps this Sister Circle shady by telling Katie that she enjoys her, despite her ditziness. Katie is not pleased with Ms. Bryant’s backhanded compliment. But she can no sooner digest that nugget before Brynee comments on Katie’s absurd behavior with Andrew at Ashley’s birthday party. You know, the time where Katie practically tried to get pregnant IN PUBLIC? Katie laughs it off. But this group ain’t laughing with her. Something’s off with Katie, thinks Gizelle. Agreed.
After dinner, Charrisse encourages the ladies to share “sensitivity stories” that will allow them to get to know each other better. Gizelle’s explosive diarrhea story lands like a lead balloon, so Robyn turns the heat on Charrisse next: Has she made any decisions about her marriage yet? She has not. She says Eddie is a great guy and a good father, but he is not there for her right now. As she cries, Gizelle comfort her, but doesn’t push her.
Karen shares the sad news that her mother was just diagnosed with early dementia, which is a problem she can’t fix. Her mother is everything to her and she can’t imagine life without her. No money in the world can replace her.
Robyn speaks up next and, before she can even get the words out, breaks down in tears. Her husband Juan had a best friend who was apparently taking their money and lying about it, cries Robyn. We’ll have to wait until next week to see more about this – and to see Katie called out yet again – because RHOP is serving up a cliffhanger for now!
Previews also reveal Karen getting into it with Michael, who shows up to crash their girls’ weekend…at a gay club.
TELL US: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ASHLEY’S BEACH HOUSE? DID YOU AGREE WITH GIZELLE AND CHARRISSE’S REACTION TO THEIR ROOMS? IS KATIE DELUSIONAL ABOUT HER CHARITY EVENT, OR SHOULD THE LADIES BE MORE SUPPORTIVE?
Photo Credit: Bravo