Dorinda Medley has a lot of explaining to do, and she takes the opportunity to do so in her blog this week.
It’s a long one, folks! So we’re breaking down the highlights of Dorinda’s very complicated take on Miami, including her admiration of Jules Wainstein for “finding her voice,” and a warning that the sh*t is about to hit the fan with Bethenny Frankel and Luann De Lesseps! (Yes, Dorinda, we already have our hazmat suits zipped up.)
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The Real Housewives of New York star begins with Jules.
“I am a very close and dear friend to Jules and, like the other girls that have had and enjoyed friendships, Jules and I talk a lot. We banter back and forth, review what’s going on in our lives and in our respective circles, and discuss them. Sometimes out of amusement, sometimes out of surprise, sometimes out of dismay. Let me clear about this, though: in NO way did I push Jules to confront Bethenny when we went to dinner at Joann Trattoria. It was truly a culmination of her feeling that Bethenny and Carole [Radziwill] were constantly judging her, and I just think she got fed up with it. Wouldn’t you?”
Dorinda does think Jules unfairly unloaded on only Bethenny though, claiming, “I think Bethenny got the brunt of it, yes, which may have been a bit unfair, because Carole has done a good 80% of the judging and 50% of the shunning.”
Despite the messy scene that ensued at dinner, Dorinda defends, “Look, the groundwork was there and I think if you watch back, you’ll agree that Jules was being unfairly bullied in a way.” Despite attempting to stick up for herself, Jules’ confrontation with Bethenny wasn’t, um, a resounding success. Dorinda admits, “Unfortunately, you see that Jules is under a lot of pressure at home and needs as much support as she can get as she hits this next chapter of her life. She wanted to clear the air and draw a line in the sand and unfortunately, as it often happens with this group, it didn’t end well.”
On Jules‘ marriage, Dorinda blogs, “We’ve now seen what she’s been dealing with for a while. An absent husband is one thing, an absent father is something even larger. A wife never wants to believe that there is any monkey business going on. It’s hard enough to try and manage two small children, a growing work life AND be a wife. It’s a lot of work, and it’s a team effort that requires two willing and able participants. A wife can only hope and pray her husband is on the same page and working toward the same goals. It’s now clear that Jules didn’t enjoy that in her marriage, and that’s sad. They’ve been together for 10 years, and there are times when you can very easily disagree with one another, but that doesn’t give someone the justification to find a side fling. That’s the last thing you want to juggle when you’re already juggling so much. And the fear and paranoia of it alone is enough to paralyze you, so imagine how devastating and debilitating it is when you realize it’s the reality you’re living.”
“Watching her make those two phone calls with her children and her now-estranged husband was heartbreaking,” reflects Dorinda. Agreed! “So dismissive, so condescending, like she was out of her mind for even asking where are you, what are you doing, why, for how long? It’s an awful position to be in — just awful. In this group, we’ve all gone through divorces or infidelities or deaths, and certainly heartbreak, but that is when your friends come through for you and help you through it.”
But does being a good friend include stirring the poop? Dorinda claims, no. She prefers the term “mother hen.” She defends, “I have been labeled the sh– stirrer, the ‘Meddler’ of this group. I couldn’t disagree more, though I do get it. Here’s the thing: I’m the mother hen in this group — the therapist to these ‘mean girls’ or ‘children.'”
Hmm. Here’s the thing: Sometimes
seriously dysfunctional grown women don’t want to be mothered, nor should they be. Especially if mother’s role is to run around telling all of her “children” how much they flipping hate each other! #TakeASeat #EatAScone
In case we haven’t heard enough versions of who Luann’s fiance dated when, where, and for how long, please enjoy Dorinda’s review! “Ramona [Singer] dated Tom at some point and Sonja [Morgan] was sleeping with him over the course of 10 years…or five years…or five months…or days, who knows with Sonja? Luann says differently…of course…but I promise this: I had no idea Ramona and Sonja even knew Tom. Ramona’s a discreet woman about her life — maybe not everyone else’s, but with hers, she’s very discreet. So when Ramona told me her story with Tom, and then I heard about the Sonja connection, and THEN heard a different version of both stories from Luann, I was so confused and I just wanted to know what was the real story.”
Dorinda continues, “I wanted to find out who was talking crazy, and who was talking truth. That’s my nature — it’s not about gossiping, it’s about knowing what the REAL story is. To a degree, that does require a bit of meddling, but certainly not sh– stirring. Maybe I shouldn’t care, but I wanted to know the truth and figured I’d help get everyone on the same page. It wasn’t for the sake of drama — it was for the sake of understanding. I wanted to help clear the air, not make it more congested, you know what I mean? That way, we could all enjoy the trip, the engagement party, and the upcoming nuptials.”
Maybe next time there’s a love triangle/parallelogram/whatever, Dorinda should just step back from the mess. She admits, “I think that going forward, when these girls come to me with ideas, conspiracy theories, and gossip, I’ll just ask them to keep me out of it for the sake of either my sanity or the harmony of the group. (Maybe for both?) Believe it or not, I just wanted to clarify, set the record straight, get past the awkwardness of whoever dated, whoever hated, whoever FWB’d, and whoever doesn’t care. In conclusion, my intentions were good, and are always good, which is why I paved my own road to hell, which you’ll see at the reunion.”
Someone who will not be staying out of Tom and Luann’s relationship is Bethenny, who has some alleged dirt on Tom that she’s about to unleash this week. Dorinda reflects that she had no idea what fresh hell Bethenny was about to unearth, but she did notice an awkwardness in the group as soon as they arrived in Miami: “Within an hour of getting to our beautiful hotel, I noticed an immediate fracture in the group. We became disjointed, there were factions all of a sudden and the tension was bizarre, uncomfortable, and ultimately unnecessary, I think. Bethenny, Carole, Ramona (and by default, Sonja), then Jules, Luann and me in the dark. We had no idea all weekend that this had even developed, let alone that there was a plot to reveal it at the supposed ‘right time.'”
“I wish Bethenny had told Luann the moment we got there so we could’ve been there for her during the actual trip, not just for the final hours and the plane ride home. The comments and questions were so uncomfortable and confusing at the time, but now, they’re just downright painful and humiliating in retrospect. The whole thing is difficult to digest, but as I’ve always said, I will advise someone about what I think and how I feel they should handle it, but after that’s said and done, it’s their choice. I can only be a sounding board for a friend — that’s what friends do. Ultimately, I’m a girls girl and I just want for them what I also want out of them: to be happy.”
Dorinda warns that this week’s episode can be summed up in teenage text speak. “As Andy says, it’s all sorts of OMG WTF SOS GTFO STFU!”
TELL US: IS DORINDA A SH*T STIRRER OR A GOOD FRIEND?
Photo Credit: Bravo