With part two of the Real Housewives of Potomac reunion, we are finally drawing to a close on the season. A messy, messy season. Case in point, we left last week’s reunion with Robyn Dixon trash talking cast mate Ashley Darby for all of her pot stirring and not minding her own business when it comes to Robyn’s marriage/not marriage. We rejoin part two in the exact same spot, with the ladies checking their phones, being touched up by makeup, and Robyn telling Charrisse Jackson-Jordan that she would beat Ashley’s ass if it wasn’t for the cameras.
This doesn’t seem like a great place to pick up and thankfully, it’s not, so instead, the husbands (Big Drawers and the BBG), ex-husbands (Juan), and soon to be ex-husbands (Michael) join the stage. Andy is not about to waste any precious time and goes right in on Juan, asking why he was so reluctant to join them. Clearly, someone from Bravo had to get on the phone and beg.
Juan cites a new head coaching job that he got and while he wants to do what’s best for his family, he also wants to support Robyn. So he’s saying that and it sounds nice and all but man, is anyone else feeling the frost between these two? Even for emotional robots this is chilly! I guess it’s understandable, given that Juan is facing questions that you know he isn’t even talking about in his marriage/not marriage at home, despite his claims that he does. I call BS on that – these two couldn’t be further from the same page. They aren’t even in the same book. But Robyn and her giant dream catcher earrings are going to hang on to those dreams while living in a state of complete denial.
Anyway, Juan is visibly uncomfortable after questions about his statement off camera to a producer that he is only with Robyn because of their kids, but smoothly explains it away, saying what Robyn said in part one: it’s something they talked about. What does that even mean? They talked about only being together for the kids or they talked about what he said and worked it out? No one knows and Andy doesn’t press because he’s got more fish to fry like, does Juan see himself with Robyn romantically. The preprogrammed robotic response is that it’s not a conversation they have had but he loves Robyn and his family unconditionally. Sounds a bit different from Robyn’s claims all season that Juan wants to be back together but she isn’t ready because of trust issues.
Speaking of trust issues, Andy questions Juan about carrying guilt for cheating on Robyn and this was no robot response here – Juan is adamant that he’s not going to let Andy paint the picture that he was the only one who did wrong in his relationship. There were two cyborgs people present and they both played a role. Juan dodges a few more questions like, if he wants to date other people and what is his primary malfunction. OK, I made the last one up but you get the idea. Enough of these two yawn-inducers!
Andy turns his attention to the BBG, who clearly took his Metamucil and came to play today. He is completely unbothered and has no problem fielding Andy’s questions about their middle of the night move from Potomac. According to Ray, there was nothing quick about it – they had their house on the market for a year and a half. Ummm excuse me? Did they not make it seem like they had just listed their house when the Grand Dame, Karen Huger, swanned into her real estate agent’s office, talking about how there would be no open houses? And I would have traded my next paycheck to see the look on Karen’s face the moment that the BBG exposed the idea that her precious home was on the market for that long. No wonder someone from China bought it – no one in the U.S. wanted it!
Andy tries to get the BBG to explain how they ended up in a larger house and he isn’t able to corroborate Karen’s ridiculous story about moving into a bigger RENTAL house because she is going to move her sick parents in. You know the BBG is sleeping on the rental couch tonight after all this. Andy thinks they need some communication lessons, which is shade for “get your lies straight before you come out to the couch!”
Moving onto Big Drawers and his mom calling wife Monique FIVE HOUSES Samuels a heifer on camera. To his credit, Big Drawers immediately says that his wife comes first and he spoke with his mother about the incident because he wasn’t happy. She gave him an apology, but she hasn’t apologized to Monique. No, she has not visited the new Potomac house yet and that suits Monique just fine.
But why talk about a happy marriage when we can talk to Ashley and Michael? The awkwardness between them is worse than Robyn and Juan and for good reason –Ashley drops the bomb that they have been living separately for three months now. Everyone looks genuinely surprised and it’s obvious the majority of these women aren’t friends or even running in the same social circles outside of the show. I at least thought Ashley and Monique would keep in touch but I guess not.
Michael claims that the restaurant wasn’t the real issue and that it’s more that they don’t communicate how they should be. Yeah yeah yeah but…..really? I think that is a really nice way of saying your marriage just sucks. Ashley admits that she didn’t feel valued and she took out a lot of her insecurities of running a restaurant at the age of 28 out on her husband. I mean, yeah, when you’re running a place that has emu on the menu, I would imagine you’re feeling insecure about its future success.
Michael takes a sharp turn in the blame game and points the finger at Gizelle Bryant, Robyn, and Charrisse for their role in their issues. I guess because Robyn and Gizelle showed up at Oz that one time? I don’t know what he’s talking about with Charrisse but they all immediately scoff at him, which is well deserved. Blame the show, Michael, not the cast itself. They didn’t have anything to do with the state of your marriage or your failing business.
We then find out Ashley is the one who moved out and everyone thinks it sounds like Michael wants to set her free. He doesn’t really know how to respond to that so he gives some long winded answer about her maturing but not being quite there yet and I don’t know if he’s talking about Ashley or a Judy Blume book anymore. Ashley says she wants to get back together but they aren’t on the same page and she is only 50% there, whatever that means. I do think it was big of the women to not throw it in Ashley’s face that her marriage is on the rocks considering how much she had to say about everyone else’s relationships. I was waiting for that and thankful they didn’t stoop to that level.
When we move on to talk about some of the lavish ways the ladies have spent money this season, Andy just can’t get over Karen’s boobs from the past clips and the ones he sees before him today. As if she hadn’t just spent a full segment in part one saying she had the same boobs and they only looked different due to weight loss and the dress she is wearing, Karen says she took her implants out. Everyone is baffled, asking why she didn’t just say that from the get go and this pretty much sums up the person that is Karen Huger: you never know if the boobs are going to match the story. Or if the story will match the boobs.
Onto talking about Bermuda, which I really wish would get lost in its own Bermuda Triangle. I still can’t understand why it matters so much as to who was deemed host of the trip and not surprisingly, neither can Andy. He wants to know why Karen was so hell bent on excluding Charrisse from the planning and we have to listen to Karen yammer on about the state of their relationship and more nonsensical excuses as to why she does the things she does. Why do we even ask anymore? We know we aren’t going to get a truthful response. But Ashley didn’t get the memo and wants to know why Karen went so hard for Charrisse, claiming she had pictures of her with a fireman boyfriend. Cha Cha dares her to show the receipts and claims this all stemmed from someone setting up a fake Instagram account dedicated to Charrisse’s alleged infidelity. Karen claims she called Charrisse to give her the head’s up about it because she didn’t want her kids to see it. But since that didn’t work out, hey, she will just bring all of those rumors to light on national television, as if Charrisse’s kids wouldn’t see that.
Charrisse has filed for divorce and her marriage is over so she doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about. Especially since she tells us that there are rumors that Karen has a boyfriend of her own. Blue Eyes the Security Guy has been seen with the Mrs. BBG out and about and it’s not her safety he’s watching. Both Ashley and Gizelle have heard the rumor as Karen quickly tries to explain why she would even need security in the first place.
The argument somehow turns into who pays for their own parties and how Karen did actually pay for that hot mess of an Indian/African party, which shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone, given how low budget it looked. But Karen can’t help herself and throws out there that Charrisse has sports money, not smart money, as she likes to call it. I’m not really sure why it matters and of course, Monique doesn’t want to let it go because she’s not about to let anyone tell her all that sports money she flaunts isn’t good enough.
We finally wrap up by Andy asking if anyone feels like there was a resolution at the reunion. Karen, Charrisse, Monique, and Gizelle claim to be good. Robyn and Ashley don’t think anything was resolved for them. Obviously, as they are living their marital relationships in a permanent state of unresolved. Either way, I think I’ve had enough resolution for this reunion!
TELL US – THOUGHTS ON PART TWO OF THE REUNION? DO YOU HOPE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF POTOMAC IS RENEWED?
Photo Credit: Bravo