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rhony-recap-aviva

I have to say I'm excited for Real Housewives of New York. It's been awhile, there's new blood, and interesting shakeups. I reserve the right to hate to my little hater heart's content as the season progresses. 

Speaking of new blood: meet Kristen Taekman. Kristen loves Elvis, hates being a mother, possibly hates her husband, is justifiably afraid of Ramonja and is prettttttteeeeeeey! She also seems sort of sensible, straight-shooting, and refreshingly sarcastic. So far I like her and I'm trying not to judge her by the company she keeps (ahem – Brandi Glanville!). I reserve the right to hate to my little hater heart's content as the season progresses. 

So let's get on with it. First on the agenda: everybody hates Aviva Drescher. I mean, duh. Apparently Meviva's 6,500 meltdowns last season, coupled with her extreme arrogance and her perverted father (who is probably illegal in at least 40 states) won her more enemies than friends. And no one is even bothering to be her frienemy but Heather Thomson

Heather is throwing a party to show-off her relevance (i.e. that she used to be a big wig at Bad Boy Industries. Holla!) and all the girls will be there which means it's the first time they're coming face-to-face with Aviva since the reunion. Carole Radziwill gnashes her teeth at the thought. 

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iheart radio music festival day two 210912

Someone is looking for a little by-proxy publicity! 

With Real Housewives of New York premiering tonight I am ready to settle in to a big pinot-glass full of drama. Carole Radziwillwho just published her first novel, will spend the season promoting her book. And after breaking up with boyfriend Russ Irwin, she's also apparently dating! 

Russ, a member of Aerosmith, tells us (via his rep) he was surprised to learn Carole had featured their relationship in A Widow's Guide To Sex and Dating because he was "under the impression they had agreed to keep the details of their personal lives… personal."

"Although Carole insisted we keep the intimate details of our relationship private, I understand why she’s spoken about it recently with such candor," Russ adds.

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orange county cast

I swear they just left us, but Real Housewives of Orange County is back! With an all-new revamped cast sans Alexis Bellino and Gretchen Rossi, the ladies of Orange County are promising big hair, big boobs, and even bigger drama!

Joining Heather Dubrow, Tamra Barney, and Vicki Gunvalson are Lizzie Rovsek and Shannon Beador, plus famewhore friend of the housewives Danielle Gregorio who is doing everything in her power to get promoted next season! 

Vicki is still with Brooks Ayers (although they reportedly officially broke up during filming) and he's still wreaking havoc with her family. Vicki also deals with daughter Briana, who is pregnant again, potentially moving to Oklahoma where husband Ryan is stationed. Tamra and Eddie juggle expanding their business and potentially expanding their family (via adoption). And custody drama. 

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rhobh-finale-recap-brandi-lisa

Seriously what was happening last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Did the producers slip some hallucinogens in Yolanda Foster's virgin vodka soda with a twist of lemon? Or maybe she was just experiencing a "Lyme brain" flare-up?

We're all at the Centennial party for the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce's most embarrassing day. Kyle Richards was MOTOBOATING people. I mean, really…? I am quite sure the acting president was forced to resign after this party! 

Also, this was the worst collection of finale dresses I've seen in seasons and seasons. Did Kyle "Motoboating" Richards look in a mirror because that was the most unflattering slumpy thing I've ever seen her wear! And Joyce Giraud needs to teach this Splits to pageant walk. 

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brandi-glanville-lisa-vanderpump

The battle of Lisa Vanderpump vs. Brandi Glanville will not go away quietly. I guess Bravo will just have to fire one of them! 

In round 3 zillion between the former friends and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills co-stars, Lisa continues to speak-out on Brandi's trouble with the truth and Brandi continues to complain that Lisa forced her to interact with Scheana Marie and lied about it. Brandi is so annoyed she wants people to remember this is just a TV show, not her life, like she's been telling us for like years. I guess I'm confused… 

First up, Lisa speaks to OK! Magazine about her co-stars and the pesky tabloid rumors Brandi accused her of! “It had nothing to do with me, this whole scenario is something Brandi created,” Lisa maintains. “It is just like every other false comment Brandi has made about me. Such as, I filed for bankruptcy, I live in the Valley, and that I got Cedric Martinez deported. Just because Brandi says it, doesn’t make it true — and with her, it’s usually the opposite.”

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Elton John Academy Awards Viewing Party

Look I'm just gonna say it straight out: I don't believe this anymore than I believe Kim Kardashian's butt (or her relationship to Kanye West) is real! 

Last week Kim played the role of paid escort to billionaire Richard Lugner at the Vienna Opera Ball. After taking his money, she proceeded to complain about him all over the media. Now Kim is claiming her trip to Vienna was even worse than we imagined! 

“Some woman started screaming obscenities at me for being in a mixed-race relationship…and went on for about five hours,” the Keeping Up With The Kardashians star whined to Piers Morgan. “They called the police when we landed, and she was taken away. But it was so disgusting.”

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rhoa-recap-kenya

I'm just not sure what to think of Kenya Moore.

By that I mean, is she an evil genius or straight-up crazy? Kenya has orchestrated shade so elaborate it's like a 7-layer taco dip with extra cheese. It's deep and flavorful and frankly scary in its articulate complexity (Kenya IS Top Chef!). And there is no nacho chip to be left unturned.

Kenya has so many targets it's difficult to know if there's a safe-zone, but good lord is it crafty and thrilling to watch. If she is working at this alone, then I bow down to her as the true maestro of all Housewives. And if she's just full-scale nutty then NeNe Leakes better contact the authorities! 

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rhoa-recap-nene

It's been two weeks but the television gods are again blessing us with a brand new episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta. I mean, how dare the Oscars air on NeNe Leakes' night, amirite?!

​Since RHOA's absence there has been plenty of action however – NeNe signed on to do Dancing With The Stars and continued her feud with Marlo Hampton and Kenya Moore. Remember – that's where we left off with our favorite Atlanta ladies!

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