Well, well – look who finally put his big boy underoos on and popped the question! Tom Schwartz has finally caved to Katie Maloney‘s demands and proposed to his girlfriend of a zillion years. And no, there were no rings on strings involved, just rings that came with strings called long-term commitment.
Y’all know what this means: Another Vanderpump Rules wedding! Katie announced the news on instagram with a photo of her wearing the engagement ring while Tom 2 nuzzled her neck (yay for finally making physical contact!). “So I said… YES!!!!” she gushed.
The ladies of Real Housewives Of New York are still in Turks and Caicos, but they’re starting to panic, one mosquito caught in a macrame dress after another. Of course Ramona Singer is annoying everyone, and if there were Ramona-Off, it would be in constant use.
Bethenny Frankel is making lunch, because I’m sure there’s some Skinnygirl salad from her book, or she was trying to pimp her new Skinnygirl salad dressing or salad tongs or salad croutons made of compressed air and over-active imagination of what carbs actually taste like. But drama with Ramona eclipsed her Skinnygirl Self-Promotion Brigade.
Ramona is demanding everyone eat lunch at a restaurant. Bethenny is pissed, because she’s been cooking and that’s hella rude on Ramona’s part! Bethenny chases Ramona around the beach house yelling that she’s manic. That, my friends, is the true definition of Irony By Bravo – Skinnygirl Margarita glass calling the Pinot Glass empty.
After taking the holiday weekend off to relax, Yolanda returned to her hyperbaric chamber in an effort to combat the effects of Chronic Lyme, which impairs her brain functionality. Yolanda remains committed to using alternative medicines.
“Back at work…….. #HyperbaricChamber #ChronicLymeDisease #DeterminedToFindACure,” Yolanda shared alongside the above photo.
So, Loony Lips back? Like as in like a Housewife back?! Since being fired from Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills because of her dark and twisted storyline that involved her husband Russell Armstrong‘s suicide and her own very public nervous breakdown, Taylor Armstrong has gotten remarried and started a whole new life… in Colorado. Now sources are saying she may return to the show that made her lips a household name.
Of course, Vicki’s tragic news was preceded by petty dramas with clueless Meghan Edmonds, and interspersed with scenes of whooping it up over Bunco at Shannon Beador‘s house. It seems inappropriate to write a recap that encompasses both the tragic passing of a parent and nonsense over whether or not a party invite was shady. But alas, the powers that be over at Bravo have given me this incredible opportunity. (Sarcasm).
At Meghan’s house, that’s not really Meghan’s house because Jimmy bought it and decorated it with one of his exes, they’re packing in preparation for a move. Apparently Meghan and Jimmy have moved 65 times in the last 6 minutes so I presume they’re high-class squatters and this is going to be a really interesting HGTV cross-over. Also, if you don’t really live anywhere – how have you amassed enough stuff for several junk drawers? Jimmy blames Meghan for the stuff. Because of course.
The lawsuits surrounding the now defunct Vicki’s Vodka have lasted far longer than the company itself! Vicki Gunvalson and Brooks Ayers were investors in the company, which Vicki started with co-founder Robert Williamson III, but things went horribly awry. Don’t drink and do business deals, I suppose (and kid!)
The Real Housewives Of Orange County star has been battling the lawsuit for years, with Vicki and Robert going back and forth over Brooks involvement in their partnership. Robert even alleged that Brooks hired a hitman to try and take him out, but the embattled Brooks scored a huge victory when a Nevada Court Circuit judge has dismissed Robert’s suit as without merit.