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Katie Maloney & Tom Schwartz Engaged

Well, well –  look who finally put his big boy underoos on and popped the question! Tom Schwartz has finally caved to Katie Maloney‘s demands and proposed to his girlfriend of a zillion years. And no, there were no rings on strings involved, just rings that came with strings called long-term commitment. 

Y’all know what this means: Another Vanderpump Rules wedding! Katie announced the news on instagram with a photo of her wearing the engagement ring while Tom 2 nuzzled her neck (yay for finally making physical contact!). “So I said… YES!!!!” she gushed. 

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Kristen Taekman - The Voice Of Reason On RHONY

The ladies of Real Housewives Of New York are still in Turks and Caicos, but they’re starting to panic, one mosquito caught in a macrame dress after another. Of course Ramona Singer is annoying everyone, and if there were Ramona-Off, it would be in constant use.

Bethenny Frankel is making lunch, because I’m sure there’s some Skinnygirl salad from her book, or she was trying to pimp her new Skinnygirl salad dressing or salad tongs or salad croutons made of compressed air and over-active imagination of what carbs actually taste like. But drama with Ramona eclipsed her Skinnygirl Self-Promotion Brigade.

Ramona is demanding everyone eat lunch at a restaurant. Bethenny is pissed, because she’s been cooking and that’s hella rude on Ramona’s part! Bethenny chases Ramona around the beach house yelling that she’s manic. That, my friends, is the true definition of Irony By Bravo – Skinnygirl Margarita glass calling the Pinot Glass empty. 

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While Teresa Giudice chills in prison, back in the real world of real reality the fate of Real Housewives Of New Jersey seems to be hanging in her hands. 

Rumors are swirling about possible new Housewives, a delayed season 7 (which seems to be the case), and Joe Giudice filming a tell-all special for Bravo, which will eventually spiral into Teresa’s inevitable return to the show. Or, a spinoff! Teresa’s attorney verified she’s been in contact with Bravo and negotiating a future with the network, as well as publishing a memoir. Now Andy Cohen confirms he’s been exchanging emails with Bravo’s most beleaguered star. 

Andy also weighed in on how one becomes a Housewife and Luann de Lesseps‘ new song ‘Girl Code’!

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Yolanda Foster Yolanda Foster is back at work… no, not only on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. She’s back to modeling and continues her quest to find a cure for Chronic Lyme Disease

After taking the holiday weekend off to relax, Yolanda returned to her hyperbaric chamber in an effort to combat the effects of Chronic Lyme, which impairs her brain functionality. Yolanda remains committed to using alternative medicines. 

Back at work…….. #HyperbaricChamber #ChronicLymeDisease #DeterminedToFindACure,” Yolanda shared alongside the above photo.

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Taylor Armstrong purple dress

So, Loony Lips back? Like as in like a Housewife back?! Since being fired from Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills because of her dark and twisted storyline that involved her husband Russell Armstrong‘s suicide and her own very public nervous breakdown, Taylor Armstrong has gotten remarried and started a whole new life… in Colorado. Now sources are saying she may return to the show that made her lips a household name. 

Taylor exited the show amid allegations that she fabricated stories of husband Russell’s abuse, such allegations that possibly led to his suicide. With Russell’s death emerged stories of the couple’s grifter past, including financial schemes and lawsuits, then Taylor began a well-publicized affair with John Bluher, who she has since married.

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Shannon Beador tries to extend the olive branch to Meghan

Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County left me wondering about the blurred lines of real reality vs. reality TV appropriate as we witnessed Vicki Gunvalson reacting to the news that her mom had unexpectedly passed away

Of course, Vicki’s tragic news was preceded by petty dramas with clueless Meghan Edmonds, and interspersed with scenes of whooping it up over Bunco at Shannon Beador‘s house. It seems inappropriate to write a recap that encompasses both the tragic passing of a parent and nonsense over whether or not a party invite was shady. But alas, the powers that be over at Bravo have given me this incredible opportunity. (Sarcasm). 

At Meghan’s house, that’s not really Meghan’s house because Jimmy bought it and decorated it with one of his exes, they’re packing in preparation for a move. Apparently Meghan and Jimmy have moved 65 times in the last 6 minutes so I presume they’re high-class squatters and this is going to be a really interesting HGTV cross-over. Also, if you don’t really live anywhere – how have you amassed enough stuff for several junk drawers? Jimmy blames Meghan for the stuff. Because of course. 

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The lawsuits surrounding the now defunct Vicki’s Vodka have lasted far longer than the company itself! Vicki Gunvalson and Brooks Ayers were investors in the company, which Vicki started with co-founder Robert Williamson III, but things went horribly awry. Don’t drink and do business deals, I suppose (and kid!)

The Real Housewives Of Orange County star has been battling the lawsuit for years, with Vicki and Robert going back and forth over Brooks involvement in their partnership. Robert even alleged that Brooks hired a hitman to try and take him out, but the embattled Brooks scored a huge victory when a Nevada Court Circuit judge has dismissed Robert’s suit as without merit.  

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Kim Zolciak & Kroy Biermann Go On Their Belated Honeymoon

When you have 4 kids in like 6 minutes it’s hard to find time to schedule in a Honeymoon, but Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann are making up for lost time. 

After almost 4-years of marriage the Don’t Be Tardy stars decided to take a much-needed break from their six kiddos and escape to paradise! When Kim and Kroy got married their first son KJ was only 5 months old, minutes later Kim was pregnant with Kash, quickly followed by twins Kaia and Kane. Now that Brielle has graduated and Kroy has a break from his NFL training schedule, they decided to get away for some couples-only time. 

Photos from Kim and Kroy‘s romantic vacation, which I think was filmed for DBT season 4, are below!

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