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"F*** me now, slave – or I'll spend more of your money on Versace china and wigs!" 

Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta was a lesson in living large, but not necessarily in charge. We spent our last day in Casa de Eviction where the Zolciak-Biermann fam was unceremoniously tossed out, left to the mercies of a generic moving company and schlepping 17,000 square feet of wigs back to Big Poppa's condo. Le sigh. My how the delusions of grandeur have fallen. 

Elsewhere Kenya Moore continued to rock crazy like it's a pair of Louboutins. I would say she wears it well, but she doesn't. Instead she comes off looking the girl in foolboutins. I think they sell them at Payless. BOGO bitches!

Things begin at Casa de Eviction, where Kim Zolciak, wig askew, is like freaking out. She's got a whole house to move and one day to do it and no one is helping her. So she storms around ranting and blaming the movers for everything. Sweetie is shockingly the voice of reason as she tries to steer Kim in the direction of focusing on the important things – packing her wigs and makeup. Apparently Sweetie wants to spare us a Kim sans her face. 

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Was she, or wasn't she… fired, that is! It's the eternal question for any Housewife who has since ceased being a Housewife. The latest lady to hang up her wig is Kim Zolciak who recently did the tabloid rounds to insist she quit Real Housewives of Atlanta over negativity and to focus on her own spin-off, slated to air in April. 

Well, NeNe Leakes tells a different story and she accuses Kim of some tall, tall tales! “It's so funny how this chick wants people 2 think she quit the show!” NeNe tweeted. “The producers no longer wanted 2 work wit u! Good bye wit the lies." 

And just to make sure we all knew who the tweet was intended for, NeNe added: “None of the girls or producers wanted 2 work wit her! Saving face like all the other ex housewives! U were FIRED! Good bye.”

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Well Thanksgiving came, we ate everything we could, and now it's time to burn off the calories with a little shopping. How many calories does typing burn? 

Below is our list of the best reality TV products you should be purchasing right now. I mean you hate someone on your Christmas list enough to gift them a Kim Zolciak Wig, right? 

If only the mythical She by Sheree actually existed, I would absolutely be buying that if they gave it away for free

CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR OUR LIST: 

Sean Lowe's season of The Bachelor will be upon us before we can say "made for TV love never lasts!" ABC has recently released the lovely ladies who will be vying for Sean's affections this season – and now they're releasing the trailer for the upcoming season. 

Chris Harrison has promised this is not a "let's get drunk, let's get naked" kind of a season, which kinda defeats the purpose of watching the show. I mean the good parts are all the desperate famewhores working overtime to throw themselves at some dude who will propose to them for his own famehoochie aspirations. 

PHOTOS: MEET SEAN'S GIRLS! 

OK, maybe I'm jaded because I'm an Arie Luyendyk kinda girl and wanted for him to be The Bachelor. Next time, right Harrison?

The Bachelor premieres January 7th at 8/7c on ABC. 

[Photo Credit: ABC/KEVIN FOLEY]

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Quit, fired – semantics, right? Every retired Housewife tells the same old tale of woe that the show was too much drama, the fighting too intense, it wasn't the image they wanted people to have of them. Kim Zolciak is no exception. The woman who made wigs a household name (sorry Raquel Welch!), is spilling the details about why she left Real Housewives of Atlanta mid-filming. 

In an exclusive with In Touch Weekly (do they have Andy Cohen's girls on retainer?), Kim tells the magazine that her pregnancy had a lot to do with why she left. 

"I was eight months pregnant and there was so much drama, I just had to walk," Kim insists. Apparently the stress of her own life, a new marriage, three children, and one on the way coupled with the nonsense of the show pushed her over the edge. "I've taken on so much in the past five years, but this was the final straw. My priority was the child inside me." 

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Aaahhh… the holidays. So much to be thankful for, so many blessings to count. I don't know about y'all but I'm thankful for reality TV. I mean, what's not to love? I get to appreciate drama without personally getting involved, it makes me feel better about my own life, and I get paid to complain about said drama starters – while drinking wine.

So thanks Andy Cohen, et al for giving me a reason to be thankful. Because without the embarrassing antics of our favorite reality stars I'd be forced to actually focus on my own life. Ew. 

Below are our favorite reasons we're thankful for reality TV this Thanksgiving. 

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Gotta love Brandi Glanville's cut to the chase approach. Since Taylor Armstrong can't stop talking about her "archnemesis" and her alleged slutty behavior, Brandi decided to discuss how she feels about Taylor's behavior. 

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star sat down with Us Weekly where she shared her perspective on this season and discussed why she does not condone Taylor's relationship with her very-married boyfriend, John Bluher. In the very candid interview, Brandi is upfront and direct but not exactly catty. 

First up, Brandi talks about how things got so mixed up in her comment to Yolanda Foster about sleeping with everyone in Beverly Hills. Apparently Yolanda, who's Dutch, doesn't always get American humor, particularly sarcasm. 

Brandi reveals that she and Yolanda end up "very close BFFs" throughout the show and she classifies Yolanda as "Team Sanity." 

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RuPaul is not giving us an opportunity to miss her luscious ladies. The cast of RuPaul's Drag Race season 5 has just been announced, welcoming to the main stage 14 girls campaigning to be America's next drag superstar. 

Let's meet the girls! 

CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE CAST PHOTOS!

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