It's that time of the year again – Dancing With The Stars is in the air! I feel like they need their own carol. It's beginning to look a lot like daaaanc-ing.
Anyway, enough about that! The cast for the 17th season has just been announced and we're not particularly interested because there's no Housewives strapping on their dancing shoes. I bet Teresa Giudice could have had a chance if not for that little federal indictment. Amirite? No?
Anyway the cast lineup and professional partner pairings are below.
And then, just when she finds a reason to make her TV life interesting and allegedly decides to hold a furlough wedding the feds get wind of her intentions and call the whole thing off. So poof! – no storyline for you, Ramona. So that's life in Ramona-land.
Prosecutors in Joseph's case feared that he was planning to use a furlough – purportedly to see his dying father – as an excuse to get married to Ramona in front of reality TV cameras. The feds pointed out that the "shotgun wedding" was not only illegal but they believed it was a ploy for a television show. You mean these two lovebirds aren't maaaadly in love?! Wha…
In a new interview with Dallas' 97.9 The Beat Studio, Scrappy confronts rumors that he was fired from L&HH and reveals that his latest arrest was cause he was defending his girlfriend. Modern romance, baby. I will so totally brawl in front of the nacho cheese dip dispenser for you!
On getting arrested recently for fighting in a gas station with former friend Kenny Rogers, Scrappy insists he is not to blame! "Somebody I know – he got real disrespectful. I told him, 'I'm on probation, I can't be doing all this.' He done said the wrong thing to me a couple times – and other occasions as well – so it was really backed up," Scrappy explains.
1) They do not know the definition of the word "hypocrite" (I think this is a trait that expands across all Housewives domains).
2) They don't understand "good manners" (Minding your Ps & Qs is not a Housewives forte).
3) They are baaaad actresses!
With that being said, let's dive into this nonsense and rip apart the episode. It all begins with Joanna Krupa dry humping Romain Zago in front of their braaaand neeeeew rented swimming pool!
Romain is on a mission to surprise Joanna left and right on Bravo's dime for a storyline. I mean Joanna needs to serve some purpose on this show besides looking amazing and hating Adriana de Moura, right?! First Romain surprised her with a car and now a new house he rented for them to live in as husband and wife.
Therapy by Bravo continues, y'all! This time involving a poor innocent horse in its nonsense.
Last night the intransigent Real Housewives of New Jersey gang continued their journey to togetherness in Arizona. While some people seemed to really be soaking in all the free psychological healing Bravo was throwing their way, others really dug their heels into the delusion. I'ma lookin' at you Teresa GiudiceandMelissa Gorga!
Things begin with Melissa complaining that there's too much like progress happening. She croaks out that she's much prefer to sit by the pool and hock up phlegm while drinking cocktails and rocking yet another fringe bikini. Instead they'll be heading to a horse barn for a therapeutic exercise about being vulnerable and trusting others. Melissa wonders if she can wear a fringe bikini.
Outside JacquelineLaurita is relaxing with some spiked orange juice and talking to husband Chris about Teresa's "karma" comment. Jacqueline obsesses over whether or not Teresa was making a dig. Chris doesn't seem to think she was but admits that one never knows with that tricky Teresa. And he's known Teresa since the days when Jacqueline was a lowly Vegas stripper so he's kinda like an expert on Tre's crazy, thanks to Dina.
Dina tells Oprah's network that the show turned toxic and it was no longer an environment she enjoyed. "At the very beginning of filming we had a lot of fun," Dina confesses. "Because they weren't sure what direction the show was going into — it was before the table flip happened."
Uh-oh – Kody Brown and his luscious locks are in for a challenge!
Hot on the heels of Sister Wives success, TLC is bringing us a new polygamist family in the My Five Wives. The "special" feature on polygamy will chronicle the unorthodox marriages of Brady Williams and his wives: Paulie, Robyn, Rosemary, Nonie, and Rhonda along with their 24 children!
The family lives in Utah and Brady (who has disappointingly normal hair) describes his lifestyle as a "progressive polygamist" left the Mormon church behind to pursue the polygamy. Unfortunately their devotion to plural marriage has left them shunned by their community and estranged by family members, but they're fine with that! I mean when you have four sister wives isn't that more than enough family?!