Guess what, dear readers! It's the battle of the booties…the donkey booties! Dare I say it's epic! On the latest episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, tell-it-like-it-is attorney and mortician Phaedra Parks went head to head with the self-proclaimed favorite new cast member Kenya Moore (And twist!) over a butt enhancing "exercise" video. Somewhere, right now, Richard Simmons is wearing short shorts and a puff-painted American flag muscle tee, rocking back and forth in a corner, and screaming, "Why God, why?" Poor man.
In such a assilicious situation, there is sure to be some discord, but, in my opinion, Kenya was pretty out of line with her demands. Phaedra agrees, and I'm certainly not one to go against anyone who spews gems of advice in the form of the most ridiculous life lessons. Let's be honest, only Phaedra can equate a fancy coffin to an opulent life style…while waxing poetic about dill pickles and homemade macaroni and cheese. Girlfriend is one of a kind, and I love her for it!
NeNe Leakes definitely wasn't shy around all the big stars on the red carpet at this week's Golden Globes. Posing and blooping in Carolina Herrera, the Real Housewives of Atlanta star dished that next year she plans to be taking the stage as a nominee!
"I'll probably be nominated next year," she kind of joked during a red carpet interview. "I don't get star-stuck," NeNe shared. "I love Angelina Jolie, though. If I see that chick, I'm gonna have to do a shot with her."
NeNe also said the Globes are "a walk in the park" compared to dealing with the likes of Wigs Zolciak and the other antics on RHOA! Too bad reality TV doesn't get their own awards show.
[Credit: Travis Wade/WENN.com]
TELL US – CAN YOU SEE NENE WINNING A GOLDEN GLOBE?
Last night's episode ofReal Housewives of Atlanta was brought to you by the Bravo Home Shopping Network. We also learned a very good lesson about donkeys – they are stubborn. Very stubborn. And the more expensive the shoe, the more said donkey digs her heels in!
Things begin in normal land, or should I say New Normal land with NeNe Leakes and the family relocating to LA and their temporary home in the Hollywood Hills. Luckily Kenya Moore was on hand to loan NeNe some peeing cupid statues and other hideous faux Versailles pieces. What nothing reminiscent of Gone With The Wind? No massive draperies in velvet? No partially burned in the Civil War looking shabby chic dining room sets? No Rhett Butler portraits? #amateur.
So yeah, NeNe has arrived and she is ready to thrive!
Moving back to the land of ATL, Kandi Burruss is celebrating Todd's birthday by baking him a cake from scratch with her daughter Riley. Kandi was using cooking tools and clearly had a grasp of how they worked. I have to admit I swooned a little at the down-to-earth moment. Riley is talking about how she wants to move into the guest house when she gets older.
"You can't fake emotions," Kenya maintains. "If he was playing games, I wasn't playing games." Uh huh – I think actresses can and do fake emotions all the time, and doesn't Kenya fancy herself an actress?
And after she did that talking bit that we all don't care about, Kenya did the for real important thing and that was to perform LIVE! Yes, LIVE! her new song "Gone With The Wind Fabulous." Is anyone else failing to see what exactly is so fabulous about GWTW? Has Kenya seen the movie? Read the book?
In her Bravo Blog, Porsha explains why they made the decision to do it the old-fashioned way and reveals she was shockedKandi Burruss even asked about the matter.
"When Kandi asked me if I had a pre-nup. I was thrown completely off. I really like her and felt comfortable with her, but here I am about to answer a personal question for the world to see. So I just fly out with a no. In my opinion a marriage is a sacred union between two people coming together as one with love being that foundation — being one in mind, body, and spirit. This means I want to agree with my husband and have like minds, I want to bond with him in the flesh (meaning anything that has to do with the natural things, whether it’s a sexual, monetary, or family issue etc.)."
Really? Really? I think I just had a horrible nightmare. Oh it was so bad. There were tone-deaf desperate middle aged women twirling around in too tight clothes, screaming about their butts and security and sperm donors and Gone With The Wind. They were looking for a broken pageant crown. And worst of all… THEY WERE SINGING! They swore people thought they were Beyoncé. More like Beyon-fake.
Then I woke up and realized I was just watching Watch What Happens Live where it was announced that Kenya Moore is releasing a song based on the catchphrase she thinks is going to happen. Yes, below you can listen to the Gone With The Wind Fabulous audio. It sounds like an 80's workout video and the Real Housewives of Atlanta star was erroneously mislead into believing her "rap" is cute.
Real Housewives of Atlanta continues to be a favorite among the Bravo franchise, which is amazing. It's rare that a show can bring in new and volatile cast members and still remain on top of the ratings. If you've been watching RHOA, you know that Kenya Moore fancies herself the show's new break-out star.
Of course, for me, it's refreshing to hear from someone other than Kenya. The usually quiet (give or take a housewives spat) Porsha Stewart has found her voice, and she wants to be known for her philanthropy moreso than any RHOA drama. Can you blame her? In the meantime, Porsha is working really hard to remember how many days are in a year. 365, Porsha, three hundred and sixty-five.