Last night on Manzo’d With Children there were bachelorette shenanigans in Atlantic City, the less classy red-headed stepchild of Vegas. Apparently Adrienne Maloof is no longer doling out free passes to The Palms.
With Lauren Manzo‘s wedding to the human lump of smothered ricotta known as Vito Scalia approaching, her bros without hoes Albie and Christopher decide they should be in charge of the “send-off” so they whisk Lauren away to Atlantic City for a “Snatchelor Party.” There they hide her away from Vito for the sanctity of family unity.
The idea for “Snatchelor” is hatched when Chris and Albie are excluded from Lauren’s official girls-only bachelorette. Hosted by Greggy Bennett. Naturally he has corralled a party bus to escort this fine delegation in style. Apparently L.A. does not hold all the fascinations of a Manzo fambly event.
Last night’s Sister Wives gave us a peek into Kody Brown’s relationship with third wife Christine. She admits to being extremely jealous in this lifestyle. You don’t say! I am seeing a new formula this season. The episode last week mainly featured Kody and Janelle, and this week, the focus is his time with Christine. Is TLC trying to convince us he loves his other wives as much as he adores Robyn? Good luck!
Speaking of Robyn, she is frantically searching her home office for her divorce papers in light of the highly anticipated adoption. Kody recaps once again the necessary paperwork shuffle that allowed him to divorce Meri and legally marry Robyn. He reveals they are hoping to file in Montana where Robyn’s ex-husband lives. He hears that Montana judges aren’t prejudiced against polygamist families. Um, okay. Kody and all of the wives converge upon their family law attorney to question whether the paperwork shouldn’t have been filed in Nevada. Robyn shares that her ex-husband has, like, been, like, dodging service. When discussing it in their couch interviews, Robyn suffers a panic attack that halts filming. She seems to get more sympathy from Meri than Robyn. The Browns’ attorney is optimistic that Kody could adopt Robyn’s children within a week if her ex is cooperative.
On last night’s Little Women: LA, the ladies take their drama to the racetrack, where tensions escalate between Briana Manson and Tonya Banks. So, let’s jump right in! Terra Jole comes to Tonya’s house bearing a bouquet and announcing their plans to head to the races. Huge hats are, of course, in order. So the ladies begin assembling their super gaudy head gear. Terra invited everyone to the event, including Briana’s much-maligned boyfriend, Matt. Because in Terra’s world, she’s being the bigger person.
But it’s not Matt on Tonya’s sh*t list these days. It’s Briana! Because she ditched filming for day 2 of Tonya’s Little Boss Body workout video, having had enough of Tonya’s low rent production and Little Boss Meltdowns (TM) on day 1.Tonya says Briana gave her no notice, thereby forcing Tonya to cut all of Briana’s footage from day 1 because it wouldn’t work fluidly with day 2 shots. (Question: Did Briana have to return her $5.99 t-shirt?)
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, when Don gets replaced with a hotter deckhand, it’s Rocky’s perfect dream! After Don Abenante’s departure and Emile Kotze and Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow’s drunkalicious failed date last week on Below Deck, it was time for some new blood. I think the correct term in this situation is “chum.” But beautiful chum, nonetheless!
Last night’s episode introduced us to Dane, and Rocky was all about him. Sorry Emile! Also, perfect, sweet, unassuming bosun Eddie Lucas suffered a hit involving his long-term, long distance relationship. The show begins with Rocky tackling a pile of laundry and dismissing Emile who is now trying harder than ever to win her heart. She needs maturity, experience, and someone who can handle his liquor. Connie Arias decides to jump ship from her cabin with Emile in favor of bunking up with Kate Chastain. Kate is thrilled because she’s much rather share living space with a friend than Don’s unknown replacement. In the kitchen, Emile shares with chef Leon Walker that he plans to head to California to win over Rocky’s family. Delusional, party of one? Leon joins the majority in thinking that Emile is clueless about girls, and Amy Johnson agrees as she hears Rocky’s recap of the date. There is a reason why Captain Lee Rosbach likes to keep yacht crew hook-ups to a minimum.
Back at Shannon’s Aries party, Tamra Judge is spitting mad that Vicki is allowing Brooks to call her a liar and a backstabber. The unladylike doth protests too much!
Tamra believes Vicki is so influenced by Brooks (and his lies) she may be turning into Brooks! Shannon is hard-pressed to believe that the never, ever dim-witted Vicki could be bamboozled by a con man, so possibly, just possibly, she knows Brooks is faking cancer but is going along with it. Even Tamra can’t believe that – or at least that’s what Tamra is telling the cameras because the only time Tamra has Vicki’s back is when she’s stabbing it!
On last night’s Ladies of London, we were treated to all the fabulousness that the London elite social scene offers. Like headstands in cocktail dresses and humping in onesies! After last week’s (best)friendship-ending tea between Marissa Hermer and Juliet Angus, it’s time for a bit of light hearted fare, no? But tensions rise this week between Juliet, Julie Montagu, and Caroline Stanbury as Caroline’s “sharp tongue” – and pajama antics with husbands who aren’t married to her – rub both ladies the wrong way.
It’s Christmas in London, and the ladies are decking the halls with merriment, and what looks like a tropical vacation for Juliet and family. Annabelle Neilson meets Julie out for tea to catch up after the holidays and chat about Julie’s new business. She’s created “JUB” which stands for “Julie’s Unbelievable Balls” (Heeee! Am I thirteen years old? Because I love this…), an energy snack for workouts. She admits that teaching yoga won’t fund Mapperton, so mama’s gotta get those coins elsewhere. Meanwhile, Annabelle is developing a children’s book series about feelings. Annabelle grew up feeling suffocated, lonely, and fearful about school. She was sent to 20 childhood therapists to work through her anxiety, but is now finding solace in creatively expressing her struggles through books she hopes will help other children with their feelings. (Well, Annabelle: consider one book pre-ordered by me for my very own anxious kindergartner. Thank you!) Julie comments that because Annabelle is so private, she never knew this deeper side of her, or the struggles she’s faced. I have to say, these two women seem to be forging a genuine friendship, which is refreshing to watch unfold!
Do y’all know how frustrating it is to talk to AT&T technical support to complain about spotty internet and cable, explaining I need it for work, only to have the technician (who is in a time zone 12 hours ahead) that I shouldn’t be working so late? Is that the point, ma’am? Gahhh, the things I do for Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. Of course, I don’t want to miss a second of Soulja Boy’s antics, but it’s my job. The people have a right to know how whiny Ray-J is at any given minute and just how shady Teairra Mari is being to her “friends.” Enter Hazel-E. We all know the history between these ladies is complicated, but I believe that Teairra always holds the upper hand. Hazel gets her former roommate to concede to an inappropriate relationship with Berg where her music was concerned, there was no knee bending in a back alley. Win-win?
Ray is meeting with newbie Brandi (not his sister, I repeat, not his sister). She’s Whitney Houston’s goddaughter, and her husband Max Lux is a big time producer. If you forget that halfway through the episode, she’ll remind you again. Ray complains about the new found friendship between Princess and Teairra, and Ray makes the mistake of saying he’s going to working with Max on some “music.” Brandi is fully aware what it means for Max and Ray to work together….side chicks.
Last night’s Manzo’d With Children was brought to you by the letter V. V as in Vito Scalia, but also for “Vessel,” losing your Manzo Virginity, and Visiting the library. But mostly V is for Vito and all the ways he is passive aggressively trying to use his voice. (V is for Voice).
Lauren Manzo‘s wedding will include 300 hundred people and 300 hundred Italian traditions, but only one corsage. Vito’s mom, Denise, comes over, pushing her dog in a stroller, to see where her son will be spending the rest of his remaining days. Lauren asks her if she wants a corsage at the wedding – of course she does! She’s the mother of the groom and that is an honor that must be signified. Caroline Manzo “wouldn’t be caught dead in a corsage.” She describes Vito’s mother as a “firecracker” and explains they’re different, yet the same.
Time for some standardized test prep! Different, but similar-style with Caroline and Denise.