Reality Tea

 real-housewives-of-melbourne

The second episode of The Real Housewives of Melbourne kicks off with Lydia Schiavello shopping with her Stepson, Sam at a high-end designer boutique, Christines.  Man, does she know how to shop.  She buys whatever she wants and that includes a trench coat made out of pantyhose (I sound like my grandmother). Then, she weirdly tries it on and walks out of the dressing room in a black lace bra wearing said pantyhose-material trench and asks Sam what he thinks.  Gross. He’s your stepson.

Speaking of shopping, Gina Liano is at Versace for some new dresses, bags and shoes to bring abroad to spend time with her long-distance boyfriend.  He’s flying her out to to be with after she shared with him what Jackie Gillies, the psychic, revealed at the ladies’ dinner a few nights prior.  He completely denied any cheating (hence the plane ticket. Um, OK. Can you say someone is busted and feeling guilty??) and of course Gina believes him without a doubt (mind you, he has been abroad for SIX months, so why would he cheat…)

 Real Housewives of Melbourne

G’day Real Housewives of Melbourne! Bravo is now airing season 1 of The Real Housewives of Melbourne, two episodes each Sunday.  This weekend they kicked off with episodes 1 & 2 and we have your recaps for both!  (ep 2 coming later today).  In episode one we get to know the Aussie Housewives – Lydia Schiavello, Andrea Moss, Jackie Gillies, Chyka Keebaugh, Janet Roach, and Gina Liano

First up is Lydia – she is married to an famous architect, Andrew. They visit their “snow house” (aka second home in the mountains) every weekend via private jet. She has 3 children and 3 stepchildren and they all get along really well.  She is studying interior design – so far so normal!  Oh, wait.  She tells us she wears the pants at home and Andrew wears the pants at work but when Andrew’s home she prefers to be in his pants.  No – ugh. It looks like Lydia will be the housewife that can’t stop talking about banging her husband (a la early days of Alex and Simon – GROSS).  Lydia also loves to spend money.  Just last weekend when she was on ski trip with Andrew she had to have to TRUCK deliver her mounds and mounds of shopping bags.  I have a feeling Lydia is all about money all the time and creepy sex-talk.  Eew.

lizzie is hurt by tamra's lies

Lizzie Rovsek has been shown Tamra Judge‘s unimpeachable character true colors and they are as murky as the sea is deep. This week Lizzie and Tamra started what promises to be an epic battle as Lizzie called Tamra out on lying and backstabbing. Tamra, of course, denied it. 

Lizzie reveals that the drama was even more intense than what was shown by Real Housewives of Orange County cameras and we’re in for an even wilder ride! 

“After my birthday and the Valentine’s party I was very apprehensive about going on this trip. But hey, I am going to make the most of it and do my best to have a good time. Things did not end well at the end of the night of the Valentine’s party,” Lizzie reminds us. “When I saw everyone at the airport I thought maybe everything is going to be OK.”

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kim kardashian animal print

First and foremost let me congratulate Kim Kardashian on her 74 day anniversary of being married to Kanye West. Which for those of you may not know, is exactly 2 days longer than her previous marriage to Kris Humphries. You go Kim!

And speaking of her wedding, Kim finally opened up about her fairytale wedding weekend that took place in both Florence and Paris when she stopped by to chat with Jimmy Kimmel last night. She also shared some wedding insights  that we probably will not get to see on Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

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Jwow Blonde

Jenni “JWoww” Farley often takes us by surprise. But this time the Snooki & JWoww star is not stirring up drama with her bestie, or having a beautiful baby girl. She is ditching her signature brunette locks for a brand new blonde do!

JWoww shared the news and a photo on Instagram and her website for all of her followers to see.

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 EXCLUSIVE: 'Real Housewives' star Aviva Drescher's dad George Teichner marries Dana Lavette Cody in an intimate ceremony on the beach in Malibu

It’s Official! George Teichner (Aviva Drescher’s Father) and Dana Lavette Cody (aka “Cody”) married this weekend. The couple celebrated their one-year anniversary by exchanging vows!

In front of what appears to be reality TV cameras? No, no… not Bravo ones – Andy Cohen confirmed they will not be featuring a George anything – but the couple has been rumored to be filming a show together. 

The interesting thing is that Aviva Drescher was not present at the ceremony!

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heather and vicki ride elephants in bali

Whenever the Real Housewives of Orange County travel it’s an elephantine-sized disaster. And this time they came into contact with actual elephants. I’m pretty sure subjecting an elephant to Vicki Gunvalson‘s screaming constitutes animal abuse. Last night they all traveled to Bali for some spiritual awakening, reincarnated relationships, and bonding –  at least that was on the trip prospectus. 

Bali is being terrorized by California ladies with 25 pieces of designer baggage and enough anxiety drugs (they’re holistic!!) to tranquilize an elephant. The real purpose of this trip is for us to get different scenery while they haggle and rehash over the same dang arguments. Vicki has a conniption fit because she thinks all the calming auras in Indonesia will interfere with the WiFi signal so she won’t be able to WORK! WORK! WORK! More time to FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! (or in Vicki’s case get motion sickness and puke in Tamra Judge‘s lap in the back of a van). 

After 30 hours on a plane everyone, including that silent one Danielle Gregorio, arrives. She is now called “Dumb” as in 1/2 of the Vicki-dubbed Dumb & Dumber. She was wearing a molting Muppet costume on the plane. I seriously wonder what happened with this one. Why is she the RHOC ghost? I feel like a Sc0oby Doo montage starring Shannon Beador‘s mystery door needs to breakout! 

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RHONJ Melissa Gorga

This week on Real Housewives of New Jersey, the females got into a hair-pulling fight. Also known as Bravo’s regularly scheduled Sunday night offering. 

In case you missed it… Amber Marchese told Melissa Gorga that she heard Nicole Napolitano broke up someone’s marriage, and Melissa took the gossip back to Nicole. Then at the first responders party, which raised awareness for really slutty costumes instead of money, Nicole “went right for the physical” with Amber. While Amber pretended she didn’t hear anyone ask what SHE did to set off Nicole, Jim Marchese made a huge show out of depositing his wife’s pulled out hair on Bobby Ciasulli‘s kitchen counter. Gross.

Now Melissa is complaining about Amber putting her in a bad position. HAHA. Melissa knew exactly what she was doing – pulling a Tamra Barney to keep herself relevant – when she told Nicole what Amber said. For Melissa to clutch her pearls over the fight that ensued is comical.

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