Thank you, reality television, for making my home state look like the classiest and most intelligent place in the country. It started with Myrtle Manor, and then CMT slid thirty minutes down the coast to Murrells Inlet for a little gem called Party Down South. Next week, I'll have the pleasure of recapping Bravo's attempt to ruin the beautiful and historic city I adore with a little train wreck called Southern Charm (it's how the other half live, y'all…and I cannot wait!).
While all of South Carolina is abuzz about the upcoming society-skeeze-fest, those characters up scenic Highway 17 need to make sure they aren't forgotten. Enter the brain trust that is Lyle Boudreaux of Party Down South glory.
I don't know what to think. Is this a 4-way gang up on Lisa Vanderpump? Or is this Brandi Glanville and Yolanda Fosterwere once on a Dream Team with Lisa and for some odd reason decided to split and take Lisa down by pulling others into the middle?
Meaning, that yes – Lisa was part of "tabloids-in-the-suitcase-gate" which is the new necklace-gate, which is the new-skipped-my-party-gate, which is the new stop-being-my-mama-gate which is the new ewww-get-my-husband's-mistress-out-my-plastic-face-gate, which is the new hair-flip-your-friends-talk-ish-about-you-gate, which is the new don't-talk-about-my-husband's-ALLEGED-cheating-gate. Basically we've come full circle and we're back to talking about Kyle Richardsand Mauricio's cheating, which NO ONE – I repeat NO ONE – cared about in the first place except Kyle who probably planted the stories to begin with!
On why she didn't believe Lisa the FIRST time she denied telling Brandi to bring the rag mags along, "This came at a time where the women kept bringing up the tabloids over and over and over again and it was a sore subject with my husband and last year Lisa didn't exactly take my word the first time I told her something. I've never lied to Lisa EVER. Yeah, so I'm being told, and everyone says "Brandi is the truth cannon! She tells the truth! She's so honest!"
Cedric shares via his rep, "Tonight’s episode shined the spotlight on Lisa and Ken’s habitual lying and viciousness. It would be easy for me to say “I told you so,” but that’s not my style. But I do want to clear up the nasty deportation rumor. Brandi is brutally honest and I love it. Most of the time she says exactly what everyone else is thinking. But sometimes she tells little white lies to amp up the drama. That's where things get complicated.
Cedric's side of the story: "It all started with the entirely scripted lie that "Me and Cedric are friends from modeling." The producers concocted the fib to get her on the show. Brandi, Lisa and I sold it, and the rest is history… Brandi's a star and I was kicked to the curb. At the time I was furious. I'd just been betrayed and fired because of Lisa's vicious lies. I was naïve; expecting Brandi to do the right thing and support me, as I had supported her. Instead, she dropped me like a hot potato. In hindsight, I'm O.K. with it because I know Lisa forced Brandi to cut me off."
Bethenny begins, "Well this is an open letter, so maybe you have heard the news. "Bethenny" won't be coming back for another season. People ask me how I feel about this, so I wanted to share it with you straight up. What I love about doing my talk show is connecting to women. I love the opportunity to inspire, to be inspired and to be able to help women to be their best, succeed and feel better about themselves. I also love working with such an incredibly talented and hard working staff and crew. Unlike working with my assistant, daughter and Cookie in my apartment, I interact with hundreds of people every day. I see a unique cast of characters and those days are filled with laughter."
Yolanda Foster does not like when people misbehave – especially at her own events!
On last week's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies celebrated Gigi's going away party as she prepared to move to NYC for college. And they also celebrated a takedown of Lisa Vanderpump and some nonsense over a truly ugly necklace that instead of being thrown away was being tortured and preserved forever. Ugh.
In her Bravo blog, Yolanda discusses her frustrations with the ladies bringing drama to Gigi's party but is pleasantly surprised it didn't get too out of hand.
Being Farrah entails many things. It does not entail telling the truth, accepting responsibility for your actions, or acting like an adult – just an adult film star.
We check in with the former Teen Mom as if we haven't seen enough of her on Couples Therapy, and Farrah Abraham tells us she's raising Sophia alone – or not because she's actually living with her dad Michael and traveling all over for her big important career of not being in the adult entertainment industry or taking a break from reality TV.
While Farrah is off being Farrah, Michael is actually raising Sophia in the huge enormous house Farrah's not being a porn star career paid for, but she doesn't want to talk about all that. Like ick! Now that MTV is back, so is Farrah. Lucky Sophia!
Debra and Michael are now divorced. Debra moved 1000 miles away and was happy in isolation until MTV knocked on her door with cameras. "How did you find me?" she whispers. "Leave me alone…" Next time try the witness protection program, Debra! And try wearing a less flamboyant coat than that full-length leopard-print number.