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I feel like high stepping, finger snapping, dance-off gang fight is about to happen in Miami a la the Sharks and Jets, and the Sharks are the Kardashian sisters and their fans and the Jets are, well, everyone else.  As you recall, the Kim and Kourtney got the boot from South Beach, but they landed in a very nice gated community in North Miami Beach.  Granted, said gated community is near strip malls and convenience stores (I know, I totes have hives too just typing about it.  Gag.), but those Kardashian girls are nothing without without their keen ability to adapt in any situation with other vapid ridiculously rich for no reason people. 

Oddly enough, it was living near the Kardashians that led potential South Beach neighbors to send the girls packing.  Now that filming has begun for the umpteenth spin-off of their family reality dynasty, the North Miami Beach natives are getting restless…or at least one of them is!  There is apparently a disgruntled realtor on the scene.  Um, he clearly didn't get the memo that it's called Kourtney and Kim Take Miami, not Some Guy Wants Money Thanks to Famewhores.   Some people will always try to make a buck at the expense of innocent reality stars.  Sadly, in this case, I'm not being sarcastic.

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Because Bravo knows a good thing when it sees it, last night we were treated to even more madness from the Real Housewives of New Jersey.  While the season was supposed to be over after the reunion trilogy (The Hunger Games it was not), the network decided to milk a little bit more out of the women and the viewers.  So it is without further ado, I present to you the lost footage from season four.  It's actually very telling to see what ended up on the cutting room floor, and what's being revisited in light of the ongoing feud surrounding Teresa Giudice and everyone else Melissa Gorga.  Editing truly is magical!

Narrated by Andy Cohen, the episode takes us behind the scenes of what happened during the season and at the far-too-drawn-out reunion.  Buckle up (if you haven't boycotted the show yet!), and enjoy the bumpy ride with Melissa, Teresa, Caroline Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita, and Kathy Wakile.  It's truly a sight.

We begin with a lost cause…Andy is trying to convince Juicy Joe (once again) that homophobic slurs are offensive and nasty.  Joe is all, Ahhwatdisagain? before turning into a brick wall of Who Cares.  By the way, did you know that Joe went on a boat ride with seven guys and one of them was gay?  He is not a homophobe.  The comments he made about Gregg Bennett were meant to be funny, not mean.  He's so sorry Greggy doesn't have a sense of humor!  Jacqueline tells Andy that she thinks Joe speaks more out of ignorance than maliciousness.  Fair enough. 

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Good news for reality TV fans today!  Both The X Factor and Kendra on Top have been renewed for another season!

Deadline Hollywood reports that despite slightly lower numbers this season, The X Factor has been picked up for season 3.  Nobody is happier about the news than Simon Cowell.  “I couldn’t be happier about The X Factor already being renewed for another season.  I am so proud of the show and the team who have made it this season.”  The X Factor has been averaging 10.6 million viewers. It seems the revamp of the show by hiring Britney Spears and Demi Lovato is paying off.

Another show, whose ratings seem to be a bit of a secret, Kendra on Top, will be returning to the WE network for another season of sass and stilettoes.  WE tv ordered 12 episodes of the 30 minute show starring former Playboy model Kendra Wilkinson and her family, plus 2 hour-long specials.

TELL US – HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING THE X FACTOR AND/OR KENDRA ON TOP?  ARE YOU GLAD TO SEE THEM COMING BACK FOR ANOTHER SEASON?

 

Photo Credit: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com and Daniel Tanner

Reality Tea is new to Big Rich Texas. Actually, so am I, so please be kind. There are way too many blondes and annoying voices to keep all of the characters straight. And they're all either holding or throwing wine glasses. Good thing the Hollywood Exes aren't the "Dallas Exes"… one little glass throwing incident sent those women into a tailspin. Their heads would explode over here.

Tuning in for the first time, I didn't know what to expect. I did not anticipate using "vagina" and "booger" in the recap title, that's for sure. Big Rich Texas sure knows how to keep it classy up in their fancy community. I also did not expect… I freaking love this show… in a trashy reality TV/guilty pleasure sort of way. Thank you, Reality Tea readers, for being so vocal about this hidden gem. My life will never be the same. Coincidentally, neither will my liver, because I have a feeling the Big Rich Texas shenanigans are much more fun to watch when paired with a glass of wine or a flask of vodka. Let's get this party started, shall we? 

For season three we have Bonnie Blossman, Leslie Birkland, Melissa Poe, Connie DiebDeAynni Hatley, and newcomer Cindy Davis. And, of course, their lovely daughters and borrowed pageant girl. Already this season, the ladies have had a botox party, where Melissa and Leslie fought, a casino party, where Melissa and Leslie fought, and a crab boil, where DeAynni slapped her daughter Shaye Hatley. Apparently, it's not the first time this has happened, either. Also, worth mentioning, Bonnie's daughter Whitney Whatley moved in with her boyfriend Booger and Leslie's been bragging about her never-before-seen billionaire boyfriend Kip.

Episode three starts with Leslie's borrowed pageant girl Kalyn Braun lounging by the pool with Tyler and new-on-the-scene Terry. Terry is a jockey at the ranch where Kalyn dresses like a Texan hooker to shovel horse poop. Maddie obsessively plays with her hair and makes fun of Kalyn's new occupation. Why anyone would leave a cupcake shop for a ranch is beyond me. On the couch, Kalyn says there's one big perk to scooping poop, "On my days off, I get to bring the hot boys to the country club. Job with benefits." 

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Oh the things reality TV stars do for beauty.   Kyle Richards of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills shared this gem with her Twitter followers over the weekend.  When a follower asked "what ever happened to just moisturizing and growing old?”, Kyle responded with "wasn't cutting it". 

Give us your best captions in the comments below! 

And tell us – what's the craziest thing you've done in the name of beauty?

 

Photo Credit: Kyle's Twitter

Wow! October is a BAAAAD month for Bachelor Nation! Three couples in a row have called it quits on their engagements. The latest is Bachelor Pad 3's surprise couple Blakeley Shea and Tony Pieper!

If you recall Tony proposed to Blakely at the BP3 finale with a $100,000 Neil Lane ring and a tearful Blakeley ecstatically said yes. Blakeley relocated to Portland, OR to live with Tony and his young son and a mere ONE MONTH (that's some Kim Kardashian time!) later the couple has called it quits. 

"Unfortunately, things didn't work as we had hoped," Tony told with Wetpaint. "No one is to blame. It just ended up being a lot harder than we expected. I wish her nothing but the absolute best. She deserves total happiness."

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Brandizzle.  Fo shizzle!  If you thought Dana Wilkey's song $25,000 was the best thing ever, you need to listen to the amazing rap recently bestowed upon our ears by Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Brandi Glanville.

Brandi, or Brandizzle as she's known on the mean streets, recorded the rap to promote Australian celebrity gossip magazine NW.  She prefaces the rap by revealing, “You guys all know I’m gangster.”  Nothing says "gangster" like a koala knit cap and sunglasses…although not $25,000 shades presumably.  She raps about grilling and dopeness, complete with hand motions that would put Lil' Wayne to shame.  It's nothing short of epic.  Check it out after the jump, but be warned–if this were an actual CD, it would garner a Parent Advisory Warning for the language.  Deuces!

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO SEE BRANDI'S VIDEO!

 

 

Aaaahhh… it wouldn't be a day in reality TV blogging without some Real Housewives of New Jersey gossip. Ever hear of that saying Cher, cockroaches, and spam would survive an apocalypse? I think we need to add our favorite dueling New Jersey sisters-in-law to that list! 

First up, Teresa Giudice says what some have been thinking all along; that Melissa Gorga is using Teresa's name – and their televised feud – to keep herself in the press! After complaining long and hard that Teresa loves the tabloids more than her family and friends, it seems Melissa also has a tabloid love that once unleashed cannot be squashed. Perhaps tabloid interviews are like tattoos (or designer sweaters, in my case) – in that once you get one, you just can't stop!

Melissa has been making the rounds pleading her case and talking up Teresa left and right. In a recent Bravo Blog, Melissa accused her fame hungry sister-in-law of being behind strippergate yet again and cites Teresa's friendship with Kim D as proof. Melissa also accused Teresa of doing appearances with Kim. 

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