Reality Tea

rhonj secrets revealed part 2 recap

Last night’s Secrets Revealed Part 2 was the final-final episode of a super lackluster season of Real Housewives Of New Jersey. And really, there wasn’t much to it! 

Dina Manzo hires the Astro Twins (real names), who are Toni Collete look-a-likes, to read everyone’s astrology charts and tell their futures. They whip out an iPad and some of Gia’s 8th grade geometry homework and get to work!

I learned Teresa Giudice and I are both Gemini-risings. But other than both having brown hair and a couple kids, that’s where our similarities end. And don’t even ask how I know that I’m a Gemini-rising. 

Amber Marchese is afraid to do the reading because she thinks astrology is against her religion, being that she’s a “devote” Catholic and all. Rosie Pierri tells Amber, her visible bra and giant cross necklace, that it’s fine – God won’t notice and neither will the Pope! 

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kris jenner and new man corey gamble. Is he using her for fame?

Hold the phone! Did y’all know there are people out there who think the blossoming new love between pimp momager Kris Jenner and her younger beau Corey Gamble is anything less than true and pure? In fact, some naysayers think that this relationship only seeks notoriety and media attention. Seriously people, are we really that jaded?

I, for one, think there is nothing more beautiful than seeing a krazy kougar with a man who clearly wants women in the spotlight. It’s a match made in heaven…or at least Ryan Seacrest’s version of heaven. Of course, in the wise words of T-Swizzle (love her, don’t judge), the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Corey’s ex Sheree Buchanan, ironically (or not so much?) of Atlanta Exes, is speaking out about the pair’s tumultuous relationship. 

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andy-bonnie

Andy Cohen is gallivanting around the country this month as he promotes his newest book.  This week he’s in California and our recap writer Bonnie K. (Manzo’d with Children, Don’t Be Tardy, Kourtney & Khloe Take the Hamptons) met up with him at one of the events, so we thought we’d share a little tidbit. 

Bonnie attended Andy’s signing event at the Castro Theater in San Francisco’s boys town area and it was a  totally sold out show. His good friend, actress Rashida Jones, interviewed him on behalf of the Commonwealth Club of San Francisco.

Jennifer Lopez Booty

Photo Credit: Brian To/WENN.com

teresa giudice

Teresa Giudice unofficially bid farewell to Real Housewives Of New Jersey during part 3 of the reunion. Behold, our retrospective of Teresa’s most outrageous moments as we say goodbye to a reality TV icon. TreHulk – here’s to you! 

After serving her 15 month prison sentence, Teresa said she does not feel she’ll come back to RHONJ – instead opting for greener reality TV pastures. After 6 seasons, most of them showcasing how absolutely nuts she is, Teresa admitted to a love-hate relationship with the show.  It made her a household name and gave her plenty of opportunities, but also, in a sense, caused her family to implode, destroyed friendships, and to hear her tell it – may inadvertently be responsible for her legal troubles. I mean, it’s not like Teresa is responsible for her actions. DUH

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scheana marie and stassi schroeder

Scheana Marie just always hopes things will different. She just always hopes that her lovely co-stars on Vanderpump Rules will be better people than they are … you know sort of like she is! And Scheana is great – so great Stassi Schroeder is jealous of all the amazing things happening in her life. Definitely jealous of her singing career

Stassi has outgrown everyone now, but Scheana, bless her heart, doesn’t understand what happened – Stassi used like her, right?! Wrong – what happened was that Stassi never liked Scheana or cared about her – but Scheana just doesn’t get it. She just wonders if Stassi wants her life?!

“I would never want to say that someone’s jealous of me and sound conceited but I think that everything I’m getting in my life right now is what she’s looking for,” Scheana explains. “So I think she’s maybe jealous of where my life’s going because she wants nothing more than to get married and have babies and have that happy life.” I think Stassi is just jealous of Shay, that magical, majestical manlump. 

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RHOBH Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is back. Yay. And so is Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump‘s friendship. For now. This is Bravo after all. Allegiances are subject to change. That said, both Kyle and Lisa talked about their friendship and the tragedy that is Brandi Glanville in their blogs, and they seem to be on the same page. 

Lisa and I had always been close,” shared Kyle. “In the past couple of years, we have had our moments and a lot of obstacles to work through. However, life is too short, and I wanted to talk it out and be able to start from scratch. I missed the days of us just laughing and having fun. I wanted to get to a strong enough place where we wouldn’t go backwards again or let outside negativity influence our friendship. I think that in order to do that you have to have these conversations. Brushing it under the carpet and just “moving on” is always a temporary solution.”

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brandi glanville girlfriends guide to divorce premeire

It’s pretty much confirmed that Brandi Glanville is not going to have a good season on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. She skipped the premiere party and no one seemed to mind – and of course, she also slapped former bestie Lisa Vanderpump

Brandi admits to the slap, but swears Bravo made it look a lot worse than it was! “I swear they added a sound effect to it! I might have been there and I don’t think it was like that!” Brandi won’t reveal what prompted her to lash out (RHOA’s success?!) – nor will she spill whether or not Lisa retaliated! 

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