Reality Tea

Bravo's Real Housewives of Miami in New York

Apparently while many of us struggle to pay rent, some of us struggle to find ways to spend our money. Oh to be a Real Housewife of Miami

Lisa Hochstein found true love when she received her first Birkin and she's been on a path to reclaim that feeling ever since. In her embarrassingly gushing sollioquy espousing the glory that is Hermes last night she bounced up and down like a five-year-old in a candy store at the thought of amassing more of these glorious $20,000 creatures. They are, after all, so rare that every Housewife in every city owns like 9 of them. #Firkin

In a new blog, Fembot continues her Birkin lovefest. Does she think Hermes will pony up a free bag if she praises them enough? "Lea [Black] and I both love Birkins. She is a seasoned collector," Lisa begins, wishing upon wishes that she were Lea Black instead of upstart Lisa Hochstein. 

"I know it sounds ridiculous to spend that kind of money on a handbag, but I like to look at them as an investment. They hold their value forever if you take good care of them," Lisa explains. How about looking at a college degree as an investment? "Although I have no intention of ever selling my Birkins, many times they are resold for a much higher price." Oh – well good to know. In fact, that's how she can get more. Screw the waiting list and offer to pay off some of the other Housewives debt in exchange for one of their old Birkins! 


Honey Boo Boo in Manhattan

Say what you will (and I know y'all will say a lot), but people love Alana Thompson, June Shannon, Sugar Bear, and the rest of the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo family.  Of course, you all know that I am one of those people.

Forklift foot, neck rust, and 'sketti aside (I do sometimes have to avert my eyes), this family loves one another. They seem to have accomplished what no other reality stars have been able to do—staying grounded!

And now, we get to see even more of crew because TLC has ordered more episodes.


bbw tasha

I love a Basketball Wives episode that starts back just a smidge before the previous one ended.  VH1 wants to make sure we know how upset Evelyn Lozada is with Tasha Marbury and Suzie Ketcham for their insensitive giggling over head-butting jokes, but they don't take us back far enough to relive Tami Roman losing her cool over a hand gesture.  Shaunie O'Neal just sits back with her puppet strings.

And just like that, Evelyn's tears fall like rain (again) and she exits the restaurant with the Puppet Master running after her friend.  "Am I being dramatic?" Evelyn asks. Finally, a question we all want to answer.

Later, Evelyn is shooting the cover for Vibe Vixen, and she questions Tami as to whether she overreacted to Tasha's joke.  Tami understands why her friend is upset and suggests that Evelyn have a talk with Tasha about her hurt feelings.  She is actually proud of Evelyn as last season's variety would have thrown a drink (or a chair, or a shoe, or a wine bottle) at anyone who looked at her the wrong way.  I guess we all just pretend that Tami didn't just pop off on Evelyn during lunch for a misplaced hand. Okay, I'll play that game.



Did Teresa Giudice get timelines and facts twisted this week in her blog?

This week in her blog Teresa tried to explain why she couldn't possibly be the one behind Penny knowing about whether Melissa Gorga went to visit her father in the hospital, because many other people knew about it due to filming and any one of those people could've told her.

Teresa wrote: “How would Penny know about the controversy of when Melissa did or didn't go visit my dad in the hospital? We had filmed about it in public, me asking Melissa. There were lots of people there that could have told her.”



Dang reality stars and their IRS problems! Just. Pay. Your. Bills! 

The latest star to be hit with a tax lien is K. Michelle! The IRS says the Love & Hip Hop star owes them $52,415.09 and they want their money now.

TMZ reports that the feds filed a lien against K. Michelle claiming she did not pay enough taxes for 2008 (she owes $47,710.46) and 2009 (she owes $4,704.63). 

The L&HH stars reportedly went on strike over salaries earlier this year – hopefully Ms. Michelle got a raise cause girl needs the money. I don't think she can bitch slap the IRS and expect them to go away, either. 

[Photo Credit: Twitter]


shay cori

So, Shay from Love & Hip Hop Atlanta has a new beau, and I don't know which aspect of that sentence is more odd.  I'll let y'all tell me…Am I really all that invested in the romantic happenings of a woman best known for "dating" Flava Flav and Lil' Scrappy? Is it accurate to actually say that Shay is "from" L&HH ATL?

Is it strange that when I reminded myself that she was with both Scrappy and Flav I had an inner monologue with myself that maybe Shay and I aren't all that different because I would love to spend the day cooking soul food with Flav (seriously, the man is a talent in the kitchen) and/or making up new wordnighees with Daryl?

Anyhoo, all that aside, Shay has been photographed of late with actor and singer Cori Simms.  Not familiar with his work, I took the liberty of googling him.



I dunno… maybe Real Housewives of Miami is growing on me. It's so… glossy. I mean, I'm a girl who loves a soap opera and since reality TV is just as staged and melodramatic as Revenge, why not amp up the glamour and make it look as glossy as Revenge. Although if Emily Thorne ever sports leopard print tuxedo trousers with a neon racing stripe Imma have serious issues.  

So last night the bionic blonde trio of Lea Black, Joanna Krupa, and Fembot Fakenstein traveled to LA for a little wedding planning. You wouldda thought it was the first time these broads had been on an airplane before with all the handycam footage they were shooting. Lisa gleefully popped a tranquilizer of some sort then put both legs behind her head contortionist style and bragged that Lenny really likes that move. Um… I have never seen an adult woman that flexible – even in yoga – did she get her hipbones removed or something? Is she entirely made of high-grade silicone. She's definitely a fembot. 

Then they arrive at Joanna's LA home, which is really pretty. Lisa looses track of her giant suitcase, which weighs approximately double what she does even when she wears 7" platforms. It starts rolling away from her down the driveway. She takes off after it fearing for the life of her Louboutins and ends up in the street desperately tripping over the giant thing. That was seriously the funniest scene I've ever seen on this show. It was classic and adorable. 


Farrah Abraham Ok party

Farrah Abraham is forever evolving her brand. Today the former Teen Mom star is taking her sex brand, which is obviously shelved between her accounting auditing degree and her designated drivers restaurant, to the next level. 

In a recent video, titled Farrah Abraham: She's Now A Sex Toy, Farrah shared she's designing her own line of sex toys, including replicas of her own lady bits.

"I think I'm taking sex symbol to a whole new level today," explained Farrah. "I'm at Topco, which is the fourth biggest in the nation adult sales manufacturer. So, now I'm going to have a whole sex line. People are going to jack off to me."


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