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It's been said that in life only two things are certain–death and taxes.  Well, dear readers, I'd like to think y'all would agree with me if I tweaked that saying just a bit.  In the reality world, the only two things that are certain have to be Kris Jenner creating rumors about her family in order to stay relevant and Kim Kardashian talking when she should just smile, look plastic pretty, and wear heinous tiny rapper inspired outfits.  Am I right or am I right?  Of course death, taxes, and all that jazz come into play as well…although have we seen any Kardashian 1099s?

Where to start, where to start?  Should I lead with Kim's unfortunate but likely well-intended Twitter posts or Kris speaking out about the gossip she planted about her marriage?  It's quite the conundrum.  Thank goodness I've got a glass of pinot noir and a Ducky Dynasty marathon to soothe my Kardashian-riddled nerves.  Join me, won't you?

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Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
 
Above: Snooki and Joey day!!
 
Below you’ll find Twitter pics from Big AngLilly GhalichiMaci BookoutNeNe Leakes, Ramona Singer, Shayne LamasTaylor Armstrong, and more.
 
 
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Melissa Gorga is doing her Bravo duty and pole dancing for the network like a good little devotee.

Amid rumors that Caroline Manzo and Kathy Wakile are not returning for season 5 of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Melissa spoke out to In Touch Weekly insisting those rumors are simply not true! Gotta keep the fans guessing to keep controversy and interest alive, right?

"Caroline is returning,” Melissa says. “Okay, there you go. Caroline is back and so is Kathy." 

Just this week a flood of rumors started emerging that Caroline and Kathy were leaving in order to be replaced by friends of Teresa Giudice. Also possibly making a return is former supervillian Danielle Staub.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with Simon Cowell and I love The X Factor.  #confessiontime That said… the live shows are a hot mess!
 
Do you agree? Am I the only one watching? I can live with that. 
 
For the sake of this rant, let's pretend that Khloe Kardashian and Mario Lopez do not exist. (You don't even want to get me started on Khloe's hosting skills.) Today, I'm upset with the producers and the mentors, Demi Lovato, L.A. Reid, Britney Spears, and (even my precious) Simon
 
Beatrice Miller, one of my favorite contestants, seems to be one of the few on The X Factor with any freaking sense, and she isn't afraid to speak her mind. (unrelated but interesting sidenote: she's the voice of Molly in Toy Story 3) Did I mention that she's only 13 years old? Love this girl! Beatrice had a lot to say after this week's disastrous "divas" show. 
 
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I think we all learned a good lesson on Real Housewives of Miami last night. Thomas Kramer's house is no place for Housewives of any strife, location, or wig-wearing persuasion. 

The creepy, weird older guy who hosted the ladies of Atlanta on an unforgettable girls weekend two seasons ago, once again did Housewives no favors by hosting the ladies of Miami for an atrocious dinner party where the lest desirable thing at the table was Thomas himself. Look dude, if you think telling an 80-year-old woman to sit down and shut-up because she's nearing her expiration date is going to get you a reality show, you're mistaken. 

Things begin at Lea Black's house with Mama Elsa and a case of missing mozzarella. Apparently Mama Elsa wants Lea and Marysol Patton to make up, but Lea has a conflict of interest – or two. One of them is 8 foot tall drag queen in a 40" wide wig named Elaine Lancaster. And the other is that essentially that The Patton Group screwed up The Black Gala two years in a row and there was nary an apology in sight. 

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After last night's episode of the Jersey Shore, MTV hosted a Restore the Shore special to aid victims of Hurricane Sandy.  Of course, the network wanted to keep us abreast of all things Jersey telethon, so they updated during commercial breaks.  Manning the duck phones are Teen Moms Catelynn Lowell and Maci Bookout, as well as Real Housewives of New Jersey's Melissa and Poison Gorga.  You've got to love when two worlds networks collide. 

I must say that I appreciate Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, Vinny Guadagnino, DJ "Pauly D" DelVecchio, Deena Cortese, and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino are doing for their beloved shore.  You have to admit that these kids have come a long way.  Snooki was even a guest host on Anderson Live yesterday, and she actually sounded slightly intelligent and not at all the cooch flashing train wreck of seasons past.  Baby steps.

We begin with Rawn, Snooki, and Deena working at the Shore Store.  The meatballs are already hoping to bail on their shift, and hard-working Ronnie is beyond frustrated.  He and Danny retaliate by donning trucker hats and ditching work like true meatballs.  Mike calls his sister and dishes on Paula.  He wants a classy girl, and his sister gives him advice on how to proceed with "shocking" Paula.  A giant storm rolls in (which I realize is nothing compared to the super storm), and Snooki and Deena are freaking out.  Down the boardwalk, Ronnie and Danny drink fruity cocktails and laugh about the chaos the girls are likely unleashing on the store. 

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Filming of the new season of Mob Wives had already started when  Hurricane Sandy ravaged the East coast.

"It definitely affected the show, but what’s funny is it affected it in a good way," Drita D’Avanzo said. "Whatever beef or nonsense was going on, it just disappeared. Everybody was like, texting each other, seeing if we were all okay, we were all helping and donating and cleaning and doing everything, it was nice to see that. Everybody put all their problems aside."

Obviously, production of the show had to be shut down for a while. But, the cameras are rolling again, and the next season of Mob Wives will show how the women cope in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. One way that Drita copes is by giving back to her community. Drita shares, "These people are just shocked, a lot of them are really stunned, a lot of them don’t know what they’re looking for, they’re just too shocked that they lost everything. My daughter knows a girl whose best friend died, this little girl. How do you deal with that?"
 
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Lisa Vanderpump's new spinoff is almost here and it finally has an official name: Vanderpump Rules

We get our first look at the new show in this highlight reel released by Bravo and now I see why Lisa was able to remain on season 3 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills AND tape a spinoff show – because (from the glimpse in the video) she won't be the main focus on Vanderpump Rules!  After watching the trailer, it seems as if it will be more about the drama in the lives of her employees at Sur.  I have to admit that I have the sads after watching and seeing that Lisa's fabulosity won't be the central focus.

Take a look and tell us what you think. Will you tune in for "employees gone wild"? 

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