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Last night on Real Housewives of New York somebody got diarrhea! Isn't that a fantastically mature and classy storyline for a show supposedly about the upper-echelon of New York society. The thing about Housewives that happens is they burst onto the scene and present all these admonitions about how people should behave and why – meanwhile never quite behaving that way themselves. It's a curious phenomenon, one explored over and over again without pause. 

Pinot Singer can't stop with her pinographies on how she's as lucid as the wine is white and the trash is not. And Meviva Drescher can't stop with her mespousing about how everyone is wrong and she is the definition of the right of the right. Unbutton your top button Meviva, have a glass of wine (a Xanax might put you over the edge) and accept that crazy can't even be managed by Nurse Ratchet and she had far sturdier shoes than you. Although, I'll hand it to Meviva – she put that education to good use and her lawyer-y skills were out and abundant over the tea that scalds and burns. 

And in other news Aviva's father George returned. And yeah, please go back from whence you came. 

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I will never understand how people can not like Real Housewives of New Jersey's Kathy Wakile.  She is just so down-to-earth and (compared to her cast mates) drama free.  I'll be honest, I felt badly for her during the finale.  All she wanted to do was enjoy her salad!

Kathy plays the voice of reason in such a ridiculous situation.  Of course, she seems just as confused and bewildered as most viewers who were watching that debacle go down. 

Luckily, Kathy is trying to make sense of the madness, and she's breaking it down for us…not that she draws any conclusions.  I am still so baffled by all of it, so forgive me if I come across as a befuddled mess–and I've watched the finale three times!

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Photo Credit: Ian Wilson/WENN

Oh Kim Richards.  I'd say you're making great strides considering you've gotten help for your addiction issues and rid your life of the gay bull mastiff, but let's take baby steps, shall we? 

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star recently spoke about her friends Adrienne Maloof and Paul Nassif's divorce while discussing how she wants to fall in love again.  While she is (thankfully) sounding more coherent these days, I still think it may be best for Kim to just focus on herself instead of jumping into another relationship.  Of course, what do I know?  I'm pretty surprised that she's even returning for the season!

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kim and kourtney kardashian beach 240912

Kim Kardashian is in Miami with her sister Kourtney to film Kourtney and Kim Take Miami.  They headed down to the beach yesterday afternoon to shoot some scenes, where Kourtney looked ready for a casual stroll on the beach and Kim..well Kim was something else.

Kim walked the beach with her sister in this white and gold Michael Kors swimsuit that didn't seem a good fit her shape, in my humble opinion.  I normally don't say too much about fashion flops and leave that to all of you to dish on in the comments, but I just can't bite my tongue on this one.  Kourtney Kardashian should have her sister card revoked for this.  Aren't sisters supposed to pull you aside and say "No. Just trust me, NO!"? 

TELL US – DOES KIM NEED A NEW STYLIST?

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While her emerging fan base will be sad to see her go, the trampoline dynasty will surely be thrilled to hear the latest Real Housewives of Orange County news!  Alexis Bellino has announced that she won't be returning next season…by her own choice.

Those last three words, for me, are hard to swallow, as I can't see Alexis, as nice and clueless as she may appear, stepping out of the limelight of her own accord.  In the past season, Alexis became the brunt of most of the ladies' drama, although she did kind of shoot herself in the foot by acting so pretentious and holier than thou.  But that's just me.  At least she has a bounce kingdom to oversee…it's the small things, right?

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Last Thursday the Real Housewives of New York taped their season five reunion. Heather Thomson already promised it was going to be a "bloodbath" and the reactions on twitter seem to support that things got rough, but not too terrible. I'm betting it was a constant battle Aviva Drescher vs. Pinoja. 

Taking to their twitter pages, the ladies all posted their reactions as well as tons of photos! Some people got dressed in the dark, clearly. Andy Cohen announced that the reunion was filmed in an "art deco fantasy land in Manhattan."

According to the Huffington Post none of the ladies know the location of the reunion until they arrive! "None of the cast members know the location of the taping,” a Bravo insider shared. “They have been told cars will pick them up from their apartments early tomorrow morning and take them to the secret venue to get hair, makeup and dresses."

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The next Bachelor is Sean Lowe!

Chris Harrison confirmed the news to SheKnows on the Primetime Emmy Awards red carpet last night. When asked whom Chris would like to see as the next Bachelorperhaps Sean, Chris answered, "Well, a little known secret, he has been chosen." 

While Roberto Martinez and Arie Luyendyk Jr. were also considered, all recent signs, rumors, and spoilers pointed towards Sean Lowe as the next Bachelor

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