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In case you've been living in Sochi and are without modern conveniences, just to update you: no one earth likes Farrah Abraham. Like no one. And I'm sure after she accused her parents of abusing her in a tabloid, they don't even like her. 

On the most recent episode of Couples Therapy Farrah whisper-cried that she had signed like a lot of stuff and wouldn't reveal what, but it was like SO. BAD. guys. Then boom – two more sex tapes pornos surfaced with Vivid releasing proof that Farrah did in fact give consent to release them despite what she claims. Oh yeah, she claims they tricked her or something. 

Now Farrah's pretend boyfriend Brian Dawe is continuing to speak out about Farrah's lies: that she attempted to make him play her boyfriend on TV. Does Farrah know the definition of the word "lie"?

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This week on Couples Therapy, the couples, plus lone bird Farrah Abraham, discuss dark moments from past relationships with Dr. Jenn Berman. Also, Farrah boohoos about her porn and annoys every human within an 18 mile radius, and Taylor Armstrong has a spoiled brat meltdown of epic proportions.

To kick things off, Dr. Jenn informs us that Farrah's life is chaotic. So I'd like to inform Dr. Jenn that Farrah's chaos has been meticulously planned out by Farrah the Famewhore. Hold the Fame. Meanwhile, Farrah complains to Taylor about being stood up by her boyfriend-for-hire, Brian Dawe.  Farrah assumes Taylor couldn't possibly understand how hard her life is because her divorce was – and I quote – probably like so easy.  "I filed for divorce, then I found him hanging," shares Taylor. "So not so easy." Farrah's like, fine your life is hard, I guess, but I'm done with you. Good night. Taylor tells the camera that Farrah is the most self-absorbed person she has ever met.  #PotMeetKettle

Whoever put these two – the Teen Mom and the Real Housewife of Beverly Hills – on the same show deserves a huge raise. Make it happen, VH1.

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I don't know whether I should thank VH1 or condemn them for bringing Farrah Abraham back into our reality TV lives. This season Farrah appears SOLO on Couples Therapy because she couldn't even pay someone to be seen with her.

Since James Deen had enough with her when he rented out his peen, Farrah opted to hire Brian Dawe to play her boyfriend. Brian got the heebie-jeebies when he realized he'd actually like have to spend a lot of time with Farrah and act like he cared, so he admitted the whole thing was a hoax. 

Dr. Jenn Berman denies knowing the relationship was reportedly staged and Farrah is of course claiming Brian is like such a liar! Cause Farrah never does anything wrong. Nope everyone is doing bad stuff TO HER. I see that therapy really worked… 

"It has been hard for me to look back after everything I've been through," Farrah whines on Keek and seriously it looks like she's reading from a script.

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Couples Therapy is back with Taylor Armstrong & John Bluher, Ghostface Killah & Kelsey Nykole, Whitney Mixter & Sada Bettencourt, and Farrah Abraham.  Farrah shows up alone – shocker – and Dr. Jenn Berman falls for her "my boyfriend is a big meany" act hook, line, and sinker.

Apparently Jon Gosselin & Liz Janetta join the fun later.  He probably has to wait for the lunch rush to pass and get his balls from Kate's hilltop mansion before he can fly to L.A. Jon's new simpler life is so hard, you guys. So so hard.

Taylor and John arrive first. The former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star recaps her past – she had the "perfect house" and the "perfect husband" in Beverly Hills. Taylor says, in reality, she endured six years of emotional and physical abuse from her late husband, Russell Armstrong.

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Farrah Abraham At Crazy Horse III

The new Couples Therapy cast was revealed earlier this week. Season four will feature Jon & Kate Plus 8's Jon Gosselin & Liz Janetta,  former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Taylor Armstrong & John Bluher,  rapper Ghostface Killah & Kelsey Nykole,  The Real L Word's Whitney Mixter & Sada Bettencourt, and former Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham

Farrah will appear on Couples Therapy alone. No & for Farrah. :(  An inside source recalled, "Farrah was desperate to be on it last season, but since she couldn't get anyone to go on it with her, Catelynn and Tyler from Teen Mom were cast instead."

Despite the fact that Farrah wants us to believe she and Brian Dawe are an item, the source added, "Well, she still can't find anyone to go on the show with her so they are allowing her to appear solo! Basically they are going to bring people from her past – family, friends, ex-boyfriends – to help her understand why she can't make any of her relationships work and they fail." 

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Farrah Abraham and DJ Brian Dawe want us to believe they've been secretly dating since May. Yeah, no. But, I'm willing to play along for a minute to share Brian's interview with Orlando Weekly, where he pretends to know about Farrah learning from her mistakes and MTV exploiting young girls on Teen Mom.

First Brian says he was caught off guard when their relationship was outted by the press last week.  So he didn't notice the paparazzi Farrah mostly likely invited to their "romantic stroll" in the park?  "It's something I never expected to be brought into," Brian says about the media attention.

"I wasn’t really expecting for  [our relationship]  to come out," continues Brian. "I mean, I didn’t know when it would come out, or if it would, so it kind of caught me by surprise. But I knew it was a big ordeal when people started calling my mom’s house asking about it."

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**EXCLUSIVE** Farrah Abraham and her new boyfriend Brian Dawe take a romantic evening walk in the park in Orlando

Farrah Abraham has a man in her life – and she's been keeping it a secret! 

Farrah and celebrity DJ Brian Dawe went public with their romance over the weekend. Apparently, the former Teen Mom star and Brian have been dating for five months, which means they hooked up right around the time Farrah's "sex tape" was "leaked"

Brian was featured on VH1's Master of the Mix and has shared a stage with big names like Rihanna, Ke$ha, Busta Rhymes, 2 Live Crew, and many more. Why he's with Farrah… I have no idea… but the two looked real chummy in a set of pictures released this morning. 

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