Carlton explains her policy about doing reality TV, "When I signed on to do this reality journey, I made a decision that it was all or nothing — the good the bad and the ugly. How can I show the honest story of who I am without honestly exposing who I am? Yes I've had a few messy moments that make my toes curl, but I own it and truly apologize when necessary. Who hasn't? Unfortunately mine was on camera! This is my truth, my reality. I'm not perfect, nor am I trying to be. If I start manipulating my behavior and start becoming rehearsed then it's just another one of them doing a bad acting job. It's fake. I don't manufacture anything about who I am, what you see is all of me — unedited so to speak."
That said, she explains that this week's episode wasn't her best and she offers an apology to Kim. "This week's episode is definitely not my finest hour. However I sincerely apologize if I appear insensitive to Kim's plight or to anyone else for that matter who suffers the same devastating addiction and battle. It certainly was not my intention to be disrespectful. I've already spoken and apologized to Kim."
Taking to her Bravo blog, Jacqueline Joyce begins, "This week's episode was quite interesting for me to watch as I discovered hypocrisy at its maximum exposition. At the beginning of the episode it was interesting to see Carlton and Brandi in their element at the pole dancing. I can understand why they like each other so much," adding, "What I can't understand is how in the world was Carlton so offended that my husband joked about having a naked room when our babies grow up — yet this is pretty much her main storyline? How was she so offended when I spoke about my husband's manhood, yet she does the exact same thing? I wonder if she is getting inspired by the very same things she hates about me and decides to do them? Too much double standard, especially for someone who claims to be so spiritual and to love women." I have often wondered that myself!
Kim Richards' daughter Kimberly graduated from high school and Kim is hosting a big celebration party for her. To prepare Kim, Kyle Richards, Kimberly and one of Kyle's daughters meet up for manicures. And Kyle needs a bikini wax. Kim announces her "wiener" has already been waxed and is looking cute. Kim should probably just go ahead and call it a "whiner" instead.
Kyle prefers to label hers a "tweeter" because <stage whisper> 'vagina' is yucky. It's times like this I wish Brandi Glanville would pop up in the corner of the screen yelling, "VAGINA, Kyle – VAGINA!" just to make Kyle smack her with a caftan after covering her eyes with a haircape.
A salon employee tells Kyle she can have her tweetiewiener dyed. Kyle Freudian Slips and thinks the lady told her to put her vagina on a "diet". But! It's a size 4! Kim's tweeter is a size 0 because it hasn't been eating anything – well nothing except a little "lipstick" she elaborated. How many weight watchers points does a tweeter get?
With the busy holidays behind us now, our favorite (and not so favorite) celebrities are slowly coming back out to grace us with their presence – on and off the red carpet. Check out this week's photo roundup!
Carlton Gebbia stopped by the Sirius XM studio in NYC before she headed over to make an appearance on Watch What Happens Live.
Things picked up at SUR where Brandi Glanville and Joyce Giraud were bickering up a storm about everything. If you could interpret through the litany of F-bombs and hair flips you might have heard Joyce tell Brandi she needs rehab.
All of the sudden Brandi starts tearing up and claims she just really misses her dog and needs to leave. She flees the table under the protective lemon force field of Yolanda Foster. So, now Brandi is blaming all her of her maltreatment of Joyce on a dog? I thought Kim Richards got the dog storyline this season?
Back at the table Joyce is unsympathetic. While Lisa Vanderpump and Ken try to smooth it over, Joyce snaps that Brandi shouldn't act like a "stupid little bitch" if she doesn't want people to confront her. Amen, Joyce, amen. Yolanda returns and is all "but Brandi is very sad". She's having a hard time. Lisa, visibly stressed out, calls for dessert – emotional eating time!
Aaaahhh… Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. There comes a time in every recappers tenure when she is just beyond blown away by what appeared before them on the screen. And taking one's mother-in-law to Hustler and grinding on them has knocked me over.
Carlton Gebbia takes her hubby David along with her mother-in-law to Hustler to choose lingerie for her "playroom". Listen – I mean the storyline is gross as is, but you couldn't pick a classier place than Hustler?
Carlton is like thongs – no big – my mum-in-law has pulled babies out my vagina. Then she proceeds to educate MIL on what "DTF" means and huffs the F— word in the ladies face like she's going to vampire her. This is a preclude to the main event where Carlton puts on a teeny-tiny bikini and drops it like it's hot on her MIL's lap. Apparently her MIL accepts Carlton because David loves her. David needs inpatient therapy.
If you thought Carlton Gebbia's sexcapades have been bad in previous weeks ("girlfriend kiss", flirting with the nanny, and of course "mommy and daddy's playroom") – this week will surely get your panties in a bunch!
Trying to push Brandi Glanville off her throne as Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' most controversial Housewife, Carlton takes her husband and her mother-in-law shopping at a lingerie store and proceeds to give ol' mummy dearest a little action! Carlton, seriously – don't try so hard!
Taking to her Bravo blog, she begins, "Burlesque room…I am sooo excited to do this surprise room for my husband. Our home is so open plan with very few doors, so not much room for privacy with our kiddies. With this room at least we are home, but safely locked away downstairs. I want it to have a burlesque feel with a platform, as David loves to watch me dance so this would be perfect. Years ago I used to dance (ballet and modern mainly). I love to make our relationship fun and sexy, and, 18 years later, I think we've done a pretty good job."