Everything Housewives gets "gated". And here on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we have graduated from cheating-gate, and hair-gate, and lastminutecancellation-gate, to necklace-gate; and most excitingly: you'recursed-gate. It's been a while since we've had a good curse on Housewives #Season1CamilleGrammer #Pernicious.
So that's what we're dealing with here and like sand through the hourglass these here are the days of our caftans. Cause you know, Kyle Richards was on Days of Our Lives for a splits richards second.
Anyway, Brandi Glanville has a problem with her tongue and her mouth and her speech and her general planet trashiness was affected by wonky aspirin. Which is a good thing because she also has a problem with *gasp* Lisa Vanderpump. Appprrrrrntly, Lisa holds within her bejeweled hands the power to deport people, destroy their lives, poison their aspirin, and dig up their ex-husband's long-dead mistress from the grave to release her from her coffin on the very moment when you walk into a Bravo-sponsored season finale party at her restaurant. Or something like that that. Cause if anyone knows how to work a good curse it's not plastic tits on a tan witch Snarlton Gebbia, but Giggy-loving Lisa!
If Kyle Richards wrote a memoir, I'd like to think she she title it "Kaftans and Hypocrisy: The Splits Richards Story." It's got bestseller written all over it, doesn't it? The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star can't get over how hypocritical co-star Carlton Gebbia has been, yet she can't see how bad her own behavior is towards former bestie Lisa Vanderpump. I was hoping that when Kyle watched last week's episode and saw Lisa defend her to Carlton, she'd feel badly for not returning the favor when Brandi Glanville was bad mouthing Lisa. Not so much! Why am I not surprised?
In her Bravo blog, Kyle begins, "This week is the kick off to some real craziness coming up. Buckle up! Mauricio and I received an invitation to Carlton and David's event and then after the dinner party received a 'disinvite.' I think it was a given I wouldn't go, but if Carlton felt the need to make sure I wasn't going to attend, I think the disinviting should have been directed to both Mauricio and myself. I'm not sure if she actually thought my husband would show up without me or she just wanted to add salt to the wound."
"Speaking with Lisa about the whole Kyle ordeal was painful again, but after explaining I knew she saw my point of view. I definitely think Lisa was absolutely right about Kyle after watching the flashbacks from last year," Carlton writes in her Bravo Blog. "And now Kyle keeps speaking negatively about Lisa behind her back at every opportunity she has, then smiles to her face. But Lisa consistently defends Kyle to me."
"As if I didn't have enough reasons to dislike her. I personally know Lisa to be a wonderful soul, certainly not mean or manipulating, and she always seems to be the voice of reason. I don't like watching some of the women starting to talk negatively about her. That has not been my experience with her at all."
Many, many seasons ago Splits Richardswas the queen's lady-in-waiting, but she aspired to be the queen. She teamed up with an evil stepsister named Adrienne and was exposed for talking ish about the queen and conspiring to tear her down. She even compared the queen's ruling to a mad, mad game of chess!
The queen was hurt so she built a beautiful fortress high in the hills surrounded by roses, which are very beautiful and fragrant but guard their beauty with thorns. Meanwhile the lady-in-waiting wilted and wilted until all the was left was a sad mass of yesteryear's hair. She desperately wanted a place in the sun again and begged the queen for forgiveness. The queen reminded her that she had looked into her crystal ball – Swarvoski crystal, hand-cut and cast, mind you – and realized that the friendship had never been true because once people show themselves to you, the giggy is up.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Hey readers! I am about to blow you away with some secret intel from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. You are going to be totally shocked, I'm sure. Here it is…Carlton Gebbia is really not a fan of Kyle Richards. Oh, you already gathered that? We all must be as intuitive as Carlton is! After the witchy blow-up on Monday's episode, Carlton is recapping her showdown with Kyle in her Bravo blog. Lisa Vanderpump always seems to get sucked into these dinner parties, doesn't she?
Carlton begins with her observations about Kyle, writing, "Watching Kyle's talking head as she's constantly rude about Lisa (her friend) only compounds and confirms my feelings towards her. Talk about smiling at one's face and then stabbing them in the back. But I guess that's her M.O. I know I'm not wrong about her, and I definitely know I'm not the only one who feels this."
Joyce Giraud is fed up with Carlton Gebbia and her shenanigans. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star slams Carlton, calling her a hypocrite, accusing her of trying to stay relevant and more! Joyce shares in her Bravo blog this week that she's not sorry one bit for missing another dinner party from hell and she gives more insight on her lunch with Carlton.
Joyce starts off explaining that we didn't see the whole lunch date conversation between her and Carlton. "I wish you could have seen a little more of my hour-long luncheon with Carlton. Let me fill you in on a VERY IMPORTANT part of our conversation: The first thing I told Carlton and made very clear is that I personally DO NOT believe her negative energy can get to me because my God protects me from all of it. As you saw, I told her I respect every religion. I believe we can all respect each other's beliefs and we don't need to force our faith on anyone. I'm not asking Carlton to leave her witchcraft and to believe in Jesus Christ — so she should give me the same respect and not expect me to believe in her negative spells."
Last night Carlton Gebbia really let the witch out of the bag – flying broomsticks, evil spells, creepy crystal floral talismans and all!
Kyle Richards andLisa Vanderpump are friends-ish again. Well at least for the sake of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills purposes. Since Ken and Mauricio truly are friends, Kyle and Lisa decide to get together with Kevin Lee (!!) to throw a joint birthday party. Oh Kevin Lee… let's discuss what's going on atop your head: part Brillo pad, part tasered porcupine: too much hair gel, mmmkay.
As Lisa and Kyle divvy up the guest list Kyle gets all porcupiney – she just wants to know why there's gotta be teams allocating who invites whom.
UGH – let's just take a moment to discuss Kyle. Listen, Kyle was annoying me the whole episode: she kept making her little snarky comments, making everything into a bigger deal than it was, and sneaking in shade while acting like everything was fine – basically she was Splits-ing. But then CARLTON! Snarlton… SNARLTON with her Wicked Witch of The Valley complete with California Raisin face had to go all wicca-wacka and made me feel bad for Kyle. There's more to Kyle's witchiness than her fondness for flowing robes, but compared to Snarlton, Kyle is a sweet innocent.