This week's Shahs of Sunset was insane. Bravo gets the ick – MJ's sex tapes – out of the way first thing. We pay for this later.Mercedes "MJ" Javid seeks professional help to recover the missing files from her computer. She worries the young, hot computer guy will copy her sex tapes. He finds the files – not a cold chance in hell he enjoys it, let alone copies them.
Next,Mike Shouhed meets with old Vegas friends, Big Baller #1 and Big Baller #2. Their office building is nice and shiny but rather empty inside – much like their secretaries. The Ballers, who finance real estate deals, offer Mike a job as their broker. He promises to think about it, adding, "I want to show everybody a big middle finger, to the entire world and say, 'HAHAHA, I'm the richest.'"
Asa Soltan Rahmati meets with a party planner friend to go over details for the Diamond Water launch party. Not much to see here. She complains about the lack of gaudy gold accessories – yet the whiners on House Hunters never stop complaining about gold this, gold that – and requests a Diamond Water bottle ice sculpture. Asa also reveals she's planning a family reunion in Turkey.
I hate to compare Shahs of Sunset'sLilly Ghalichi to Elle Woods because I LOVE Elle Woods, but, like, ohmigosh, what would you do if she were your attorney? I'm not saying Lilly isn't a bright gal, but my goodness, the vapidness!
She's clearly got some business sense since she has her own line of swim wear and eyelashes (hey, at least it's not a common workout video!), and now Lilly apparently has a new man, too!
Lilly,Joanna and Carmen headed out to RivaBella restaurant together. Lilly, who normally doesn't partake in anything fun besides work, shared on Twitter why she decided to enjoy a night out. And made sure we knew the details of her outfit…
"I usually go to bed after my long days of work, but I'm starting my New Years resolution now, to be more fun . Quick change and off to girls night with @jackketso @carmenelectra @joannakrupa Rocking a @lovenookie dress with #hermes Birkin bag and #brianatwood pumps custom bling'd by @crisrockzit #ghalichiglam."
GG took to her Bravo blog to list all the reasons she's upset with MJ.
First, according to GG, MJ needs to "back the f–k off" her sister, Leila. "When Leila tells me that she and MJ are talking and hanging out all of the time, it makes my blood boil," said GG. "What the f–k is MJ trying to prove by hanging out with my sister? If she and I are not getting along, then she needs to stay far away from anything related to me."
As if two episodes of Shahs of Sunset in 48 hours isn't bad enough, this one kicks off withMercedes "MJ" Javid showing off her boobs. Thank goodness Bravo isn't broadcast in 3D. MJ says she's spent thousands of dollars trying to simultaneously keep her boobs under control, cinch her waist, and eliminate back fat – to no avail – so she has decided to design her own bra and shaping garment. MJ "shapes" the air right out her lungs, explaining, "I have the tiniest waist, it's just not being cinched properly." #delusional
Meanwhile, Jessica is converting to Judaism for Mike Shouhed, although he has yet to propose. Mike and Jessica go through the motions of a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony during class, and Mike starts to sweat. Mike reminds us that he used to be the MVP of Vegas (Most Valuable Persian) and I think about the smug Shahs of Sunset tagline, "We don't work in buildings. We own buildings." Now? Mike rents bus wraps, so he needs to get over himself and put a ring on Jessica's finger before someone else does.